an-excuse
03-19-2014, 09:29 AM
Hey.
I spent most of my teenage years at a boarding school. I started when I was 11 years old. It was a really traumatic time; some of the teachers I had there especially were awful, awful people and I was under so much stress. I also had no one to talk to, so much was internalised and I felt so alone and unsafe.
I don't know if anyone here has been through a similar experience - you know when you've been under so much pressure for so long and you think it's all over when you leave, but it comes back to haunt you even though you think you're over it.
Right now, I'm at university. I'm coping and I'd like to think that, despite the adversity that gets thrown my way, like everyone else, I bear with it and get through it. However when my parents come to visit, or when they 'drop me off' at my flat after a break at home, and then they head off back home, I become nauseous, panicky, and incredibly...sad. I cannot stop crying for ages and all of a sudden I become incredibly homesick. I know it's because of the baggage of me being that scared 11 year old saying goodbye to my parents, but there's no reason for me to feel like this now that I'm 10 years older and can cope well by myself. I'm safe and in control. I've rationalised it, but the feeling just won't go away.
I was wondering if anyone could help me. If you've experienced a remotely similar situation, and how you've coped. Or any tips in general... I just need help!
I spent most of my teenage years at a boarding school. I started when I was 11 years old. It was a really traumatic time; some of the teachers I had there especially were awful, awful people and I was under so much stress. I also had no one to talk to, so much was internalised and I felt so alone and unsafe.
I don't know if anyone here has been through a similar experience - you know when you've been under so much pressure for so long and you think it's all over when you leave, but it comes back to haunt you even though you think you're over it.
Right now, I'm at university. I'm coping and I'd like to think that, despite the adversity that gets thrown my way, like everyone else, I bear with it and get through it. However when my parents come to visit, or when they 'drop me off' at my flat after a break at home, and then they head off back home, I become nauseous, panicky, and incredibly...sad. I cannot stop crying for ages and all of a sudden I become incredibly homesick. I know it's because of the baggage of me being that scared 11 year old saying goodbye to my parents, but there's no reason for me to feel like this now that I'm 10 years older and can cope well by myself. I'm safe and in control. I've rationalised it, but the feeling just won't go away.
I was wondering if anyone could help me. If you've experienced a remotely similar situation, and how you've coped. Or any tips in general... I just need help!