How to forget these people and stop the obsessive thoughts?

[tryingto]

Thanks for the advice.

[ashy]

Hey!
Man, that's a really tough thing to put up with everyday. I've had and sometimes I still have the same kind of experience as you are going through. A lot of times it hurts me to think of certain family members because of how they've mocked me and put me down for a lot of my life. It's hard to just make it go away. But I've also have had intense fear and almost a panic attack whenever I see anyone who resembles my stepdad or reminds me of him. But whenever you happen to be in one of those moments, just think: they aren't here right now. They aren't mocking me or humiliating me right now. Try not to associate people with the same name as them or who remind you of them, with those people who have hurt you. Try to remember that these are new and different people ( or characters on TV) and learn to associate good things with them. Those kids were WRONG and MEAN to hurt you. But now they are gone. You can control your thoughts, so don't allow the memory of them to control your thoughts and continue to hurt you.

[bittersweetgirl]

Hi everyone, this is my first post, so it's nice to meet you all :). I have this problem where I can't seem to forget those who hurt me in the past, and I have a tendency to relate almost everything back to them. When I was a Sophomore in high school, 10th grade, I had a really bad body odor problem and in my psychology class there was a group of three people who were just so mean about it. Every day they'd yell that someone smelled awful, they'd laugh at me, they'd just talk bad about me when I was right there. Flash forward to now, when I'm a Senior in high school, and I finally have that whole body odor thing under control (it's a long story), but even after a couple of years, I just can't forget them. Their names and faces are planted in my brain. I'll be watching a show, see someone with the same name and the whole episode is ruined for me because I think of them again. I just always somehow relate and associate random things throughout my day and they always come back. When I think of the memories and the things they said to me, it doesn't hurt anymore because I don't have the B.O. problem, but thinking about the persons in particular always scares me. Everywhere I go, I'm petrified that I'll run into one of them in public and have them remember me as the girl who smelled awful; I once was so close to having an anxiety attack in the middle of a crowded store, simply because I saw someone who reminded me of them and I got so scared. I'm literally about to cry because all I want is to be able to forget these people and forget their names and their faces because it literally hurts when I think of them, and I think of them hundreds of times a day. Why do I do this? Does this happen to any of you? Thanks a bunch.

It sounds a bit like PTSD... you felt in danger, and now you've got these intrusive thoughts. Either way, this isn't the way you want to live now. Oh, and yes - things like that do happen to me. Generally it fades with time, but I had to get specific treatment for a particularly bad episode (medication, plus I literally left town for 4 days to break up the cycle of fear - I kept looking out my window and freaking out every time I saw a car pull up near my house). I'm getting therapy now to deal with some other leftover issues (meds still too). That's what has helped me - meds, therapy, and occasional escapes to shake up the scenery and kind of reset my brain. Also, yoga class was a huge relief... just being around good and kind people and tuning everything out for a while. Anything in there you might consider? I would suggest a doctor visit for a start. Good luck!

[Enduronman]

It sounds a bit like PTSD... you felt in danger, and now you've got these intrusive thoughts. Either way, this isn't the way you want to live now. Oh, and yes - things like that do happen to me. Generally it fades with time, but I had to get specific treatment for a particularly bad episode (medication, plus I literally left town for 4 days to break up the cycle of fear - I kept looking out my window and freaking out every time I saw a car pull up near my house). I'm getting therapy now to deal with some other leftover issues (meds still too). That's what has helped me - meds, therapy, and occasional escapes to shake up the scenery and kind of reset my brain. Also, yoga class was a huge relief... just being around good and kind people and tuning everything out for a while. Anything in there you might consider? I would suggest a doctor visit for a start. Good luck!

Definately caused by a few stressful events..PTSD sounds about right, but obesessing about it too,....
It made you feel reallllyyyy badly about yourself and your esteem, even now,..but until your forget the past, these thoughts will always continue to haunt you...
I would like to see you into some sort of therapy and counceling with some medications too as BSG above has mentioned so you can break this cycle friend...
We've got to forget the past (no matter how hurtful) live for today, and have hope for the future...to live a peaceful life...stop dwelling on it dear.....

Thinking of you!
Have a great day too!!!

Enduronman.. :) :)