Good weeks/bad weeks?

[Michael33]

Sorry if this has been posted before, sorry if I'm also flooding the forums lately.

I'm starting to realize that I have weeks where I feel awful, the negative obsessive thinking goes off the wall, this weird scary feeling comes on and off (I think it might be DR/DP). But then for some reason once I somehow break out of weeks like this, I feel pretty normal. Almost anxiety free, minimal thoughts - if so they don't phase me much, and the weird scary feeling doesn't phase me much either.

Anyone know how I could possibly cope better with my bad weeks? I was thinking of maybe getting a benz like Ativan just to take when I feel these horrible days coming on.

[raggamuffin]

What is different in your routine during the good weeks? Are you keeping yourself busier? During quieter times I find my anxiety gets worse. I'm currently on my second week off work on holiday. I always find I get hit harder with symptoms during my holiday because I have so much time to myself. This holiday is no different.

When you're busy you are keeping your mind active and away from the anxious rumination that you no doubt go through when you don't have much to do.

Ed

[Michael33]

Yes^, you're absolutely right and I just realized it.. I'll keep very active in my good weeks, to the point where I feel great. For some reason, once I feel good I go back to my old routine - chilling at home playing video games, talking on the phone, doing work and having a few cigarettes. Then boom - right when it feels like I can finally just relax again, I get fcked back into these stupid phases so I'm forced to go out every night with friends to keep my sanity.

I also think I have hypochondria.. When I get bored and cant find something to keep my mind busy I always end up on the computer looking up stuff like bipolar disorder, it scares the hell out of me. For some reason, I cant accept that I have plain old anxiety. It feels so horrible that I'm always thinking it must be something worse than anxiety, but nothing I look up other than anxiety (maybe pure OCD, which is still just an anxiety disorder) comes anywhere close to what I experience.

[raggamuffin]

Problem is, even if you have good days or weeks you can still get hit with anxiety pains or symptoms. It takes a long time to go away just as it took a long time to come about. Often we don't realize that we're bad at handling stress and are worriers etc. We often think anxiety came about instantly when we get hit with our first panic attack or chest pains or wehatever symptoms we notice. We think to ourseleves anxiety has just been dropped on our heads like a heavy weight. But in reality it'll have been a prolonged period of stress or inability to process worries and fears in a healthy manner which has caused anxiety to manifest itself with physical issues.

These symptoms are your bodies way of saying it needs rest and wants to repair itself. But often we add secondary fears and worries onto an overburdened body when the symptoms come along. This isn't what the body needs and so we are prolonging our own discomforts. But anxiety isn't in control of us. We are in control of it. So the times when you do fixate on anxiety - these will be the times you feel at your worst. You're feeding the anxiety with more fears and worries so things feel a lot worse. When you're busy you'll feel a lot better more often than not. But it doesn't mean your body is back to being 100%. So there'll still be moments it hits you with something. It's just about rationalizing the situation and reminding yourself you're still recovering but you're not in any danger. This takes practice to do and ofte at the beginning you won't believe what you're saying is true.

But just remember that anxiety runs off fear and worry. SO when you notice you're thinking negatively you need to remind yourself to avoid it. You need to be able to identify the momnents where negativity is taking over and literally steer yourself in the other direction because you'll simply be enabling anxiety to go back about it's business.

Ed