Terrified of the future

[talm]

Hey guys, I suffer from generalised anxiety and I am having an incredibly tough time dealing with the present moment. My mind is constantly living in the future, to the point where I continuously ask the question "what if I stop enjoying the things I enjoy everyday?" Because of this fear, the smallest everyday things are triggering it off, to the point where I am afraid to do things I love in case I don't enjoy them anymore.

I do not identify with depression. I am not sad or have a feeling of hopelessness, I am just ridiculously terrified of the future.

My mind is also terrified of getting a job. Not because I fear I won't be able to handle it, just the fear of working everyday and getting bored by it. I love structure in my life, and that's what terrifies me - the unknown. I have just finished my university degree, and I believe this is part of the reason why I feel this way - the loss of structure.

Could anyone relate to this? My thoughts and obsessions have gotten really bad, to the point where nearly everything is a trigger. And too many triggers causes me panic.

[kateb]

I do understand this, although I don't get it quite so bad. At the moment I'm going through a lot of changes and the future is 'unknown' and I'm having a really hard time adapting - we started packing stuff up in the house yesterday and I couldn't do it for long before feeling dizzy, sick. It was like my brain was shouting "TOO MUCH CHANGE!" - I start my new job tomorrow and I am frankly very anxious - I know I am because when I pass my 'normal' level of anxiety and really can't cope any more, I feel numb, frozen and can't properly articulate words any more. That's how I am today, and I hate it, and I want to be more proactive and positive, but I just don't know how - too scared of tomorrow!

So I do know what you mean - lots of anxiety is about control, and it is really hard to 'give up control'. Maybe it helps to know that you do have control over many things in your life? You can control how you spend each day, you can control your routine - sometimes what helped me when I was feeling like that was to make a really clear plan. It could be a plan for the day, a plan for the week, a plan for the next three months. But sometimes just writing a plan makes me feel a bit more in charge of my life.

Also meditation or mindfulness exercises work for some people to keep them grounded in the present instead of questioning the future all the time. Just spending five minutes in the morning where you sit and observe what is going on around you (what can you hear? what can you feel? what can you smell? etc) , and how you are feeling inside too, can really help you to focus on the 'now'. I would say to try it - just put a timer on, sit, maybe close your eyes and 'observe' what your body is doing and what your thoughts are doing. If you start thinking about the future or your mind starts wandering onto other things, just notice it, observe it, and slowly say to yourself "ok so I'm thinking about..... but right now I just want to think about what is happening at the moment" and 'pull it back in'.

Maybe give it a go, see how it goes, observe whether it is difficult, nice, horrible :P I got told that if you do that twice a day it can massively calm your mind down.

Ultimately, it will just be about accepting the things you can't control, doing the best with what you can control. Do you have counselling to help you identify and deal with triggers and panic too?

[kateb]

I have just tried to take my own advice and done five minutes of just mainly observing my breathing and I do feel quite a bit better!

[needtogetwell]

Hey guys, I suffer from generalised anxiety and I am having an incredibly tough time dealing with the present moment. My mind is constantly living in the future, to the point where I continuously ask the question "what if I stop enjoying the things I enjoy everyday?" Because of this fear, the smallest everyday things are triggering it off, to the point where I am afraid to do things I love in case I don't enjoy them anymore. I do not identify with depression. I am not sad or have a feeling of hopelessness, I am just ridiculously terrified of the future. My mind is also terrified of getting a job. Not because I fear I won't be able to handle it, just the fear of working everyday and getting bored by it. I love structure in my life, and that's what terrifies me - the unknown. I have just finished my university degree, and I believe this is part of the reason why I feel this way - the loss of structure. Could anyone relate to this? My thoughts and obsessions have gotten really bad, to the point where nearly everything is a trigger. And too many triggers causes me panic.

Hi Talm,

First I would like to welcome you to the forum. A wonderful place with a wealth of personal insights, knowledge and strategies. Like the one you just got above this.

I don't think I can add much that would be helpful. I too use meditation to stay grounded in the now. I also use a self-hypnosis app on my iphone. This one is is for anxiety, especially those of us who worry about the future. I use it every day as part of my bag of tricks to keep the anxiety at bay.

I do want to congratulate you on finishing your university degree. Quite an accomplishment! I remember when I finished mine, it was almost a let down and filled with anxiety just like you! You are about to embark on the next phase of your life and no one left an instruction manual.

You will build your bag of tricks that works for you. Be patient, take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Be willing to try anything once or twice to figure out what works for you.

I wish you great success today! The future will take care of itself.

Again, welcome!
Cheers!

[Applecherry]

Dread is anxiety's greatest fuel. :/