NoLifeInMe00
03-07-2014, 12:39 PM
I do not know what is happening with me lately. I'm terrified of losing self control and I'm not sure how to handle it. My so called best friend and I have not been talking and a big part of my anxiety is from her bc she knows how in love i am with her and her 4 kids but she tells me that she doesn't want a relationship and that it needs to be a friendship love and now she's in a relationship with someone else and it tore my heart out. Every time I get a text estate I fear that it's her and immediately have a panic attack. I'm always the one who needs to start a conversation with her and it hurts to know that being a 35 year old single male living with my parents that I might actually die alone. I've been going to the gym to kill some stress but it still hurts inside. What do I do? Where do I turn? Who do I talk too? I'm so lost right now it's tearing me apart from the inside. Why is it so hard to be happy and find someone to love me for me? God help me.