laurandisorder
03-06-2014, 05:17 AM
Hey guys,
It's nice to see a lot of new faces on here. I have come crawling back in direct defiance of the Linden Method - don't talk about your anxiety pillar - simply because I'm struggling and because my anxiety and the panic disorder that accompanies it is my dirty little secret, I don't have many people that relate.
I'm currently on the anticipatory anxiety train. I had my first class at University this week - well I was supposed to. I'm still working full time - teaching and I have permission to take this creative writing course that I had to submit a 20 page portfolio to get into. I was so excited about it.
I have had a rough few months; quite a few intense, but brief panic attacks at the 10/10 scale. I'm losing a fuckton of hair and generally feeling mildly apprehensive about everything. My biggest triggers at the moment are waiting in lines and waiting in traffic. Anyway. The campus is an hour drive from my work and home. I made the drive there with a little help from some Valium and then when I got there my panic monster unleashed itself. I freaked out. I went into the library, got lost (I actually did my undergrad here so I know the campus) and essentially decided it was just not going to happen. I attempt to drive home in peak hour traffic and endured one of the longest and most intense attacks I have ever experienced. It was awful. An hour in hell. It took all of my willpower not to run screaming from my car.
After this embarrassing escapade, I went to my local walk in clinic yesterday to get a medical certificate and the doctor has ordered a barrage of blood tests - my blood pressure (standing) is incredibly low - which kind of explains why I am struggling to stand to wait in lines. I'm not expecting anything major from the results - I was tested for thyroid problems a couple of years ago.
I just wanted to drop by and say hi to the old regulars and let you guys know I'll be around a little more now. I need the support of people who are going through what I am.
It's nice to see a lot of new faces on here. I have come crawling back in direct defiance of the Linden Method - don't talk about your anxiety pillar - simply because I'm struggling and because my anxiety and the panic disorder that accompanies it is my dirty little secret, I don't have many people that relate.
I'm currently on the anticipatory anxiety train. I had my first class at University this week - well I was supposed to. I'm still working full time - teaching and I have permission to take this creative writing course that I had to submit a 20 page portfolio to get into. I was so excited about it.
I have had a rough few months; quite a few intense, but brief panic attacks at the 10/10 scale. I'm losing a fuckton of hair and generally feeling mildly apprehensive about everything. My biggest triggers at the moment are waiting in lines and waiting in traffic. Anyway. The campus is an hour drive from my work and home. I made the drive there with a little help from some Valium and then when I got there my panic monster unleashed itself. I freaked out. I went into the library, got lost (I actually did my undergrad here so I know the campus) and essentially decided it was just not going to happen. I attempt to drive home in peak hour traffic and endured one of the longest and most intense attacks I have ever experienced. It was awful. An hour in hell. It took all of my willpower not to run screaming from my car.
After this embarrassing escapade, I went to my local walk in clinic yesterday to get a medical certificate and the doctor has ordered a barrage of blood tests - my blood pressure (standing) is incredibly low - which kind of explains why I am struggling to stand to wait in lines. I'm not expecting anything major from the results - I was tested for thyroid problems a couple of years ago.
I just wanted to drop by and say hi to the old regulars and let you guys know I'll be around a little more now. I need the support of people who are going through what I am.