Long explanation on my anxiety and depression

[irishgirlhendun]

Hi guys I new here but not new to anxiety been dealing with it on and off for about 10 tens. But never had a problem with depression but I seem to be now. I just want to give you a little explanation and recap of my life the last year and a half so you know by situation and could maybe give you some insight and you can give me some advice or tips. I am the baby of ten kids, I'm 32 years old with 2 kids and one on the way in July. In November 2012 my father and best friend passed away, I was heartbroken and still am but accepted he isn't here anymore and the good Lord is caring got him so he is in good hands! My dad worked til the dad he died. He had no retirement plan, pension,or any money for my mom to live on when he was gone. My mom has a ton of anxiety and I know that's where I get it from even thou I hate to blame people but i do believe it's heredity and a learned habit. In May my mom lost her mom to foreclosed cause she couldn't afford it anymore. She only gets 650$ in social security a month so it tough and I know that but she burdens me with all her problems. When she lost her home it was on me to find her somewhere to go cause she refuses to live with anyone even thou she can't afford to live on her own. I give her most of my money when I can so she is happy and doesn't complain cause I don't want to hear the negativity anymore of how bad her life sucks. My husband is bitter at me because I am more concerned with my moms problems and ignore my own house hold or give her money that our family needs. She has no car and on of her anxiety issues is being trapped in the house but at the same time she is afraid she take a walk anywhere cause she needs a car by her at all times. But every single day I have to pick her up and drive her around with the two hours I get alone while the kids are at school. She is always with me and I feel bad getting mad cause she did lose my dad but I can't live my life. My house she dirty all the time because I always have to leave to get her to give her a ride somewhere everyday. Last week I got annoyed cause I didn't want to do it one day cause I had a lot of stuff to do at home and she said to me " one day I won't be around anymore for you to drive around" then I felt doubly has bad. If I don't want to do it one day I like the worse person and she is mad. She doesn't treat my brothers and sisters like me. They get to live there life and come by once in a while. Everyday I have to do there and ride her around or give her my car. I'm always depressed when I get home one because I'm so annoyed I have to take my 2 hours, two she talks about bad stuff all the time and a grudge holder, and three my house is always dirty cause I don't have time to do it and it makes me so depressed. I feel like a horrible mother and wife that can't keep a little two bedroom house clean. The rental apartment I got for my mom after the foreclosure, she hasn't paid the rent since December and I know it's only a matter of time before they evicted her and then I stuck trying to find her somewhere else to live. She had the money for rent but keep spending it cause she hates to stay home and goes to stores and spends it. But I want my life back and my happiness. I'm 5 months pregnant and she runs me around like she doesn't care cause she is just worrying about making herself feel better with anxiety that she doesn't care about anything else. I know this was a long confusing post but I just had to get it all out and have someone listen. I need some advice also. My husband always says put your foot down but how can you to your mother.? She was good to us growing up that's why I feel bad getting mad but she has just been so negative and selfish these last years. Always mad at someone for not doing something for her. It's just tough and is making me really depressing. My life feeling like groundhogs day. When she calls my blood pressure goes up cause I know she wants something from me. I have two kids that need me and one on the way and I'm angry and depressed all the time because of all of this. Thanks for listening to my ramble lol! Any input would be greatly appreciated

[ashy]

Hi!
That's a really tough situation, I'm really sorry about what you are going through. It's especially tough when no one seems to understand or be supportive of you. We'll, my advice would be to speak up, and to ask for help. Have you tried speaking to your brothers and sisters about it? Does your mom get any medical help for her anxiety? As you we'll know, just because she has anxiety doesn't mean that she can treat you in this way. Does she take any medication or see a therapist? Try to reach out to people for help, whether it's your family or possibly medical staff/therapists who can help her. You shouldn't keep taking it all on yourself. Don't let her make you feel guilty, YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG. Make sure to take care of yourself too. Are you getting any help for your anxiety? Realize that this is too much for one person to take on and that you need help! Best of luck!

[butterfly82]

Hi guys I new here but not new to anxiety been dealing with it on and off for about 10 tens. But never had a problem with depression but I seem to be now. I just want to give you a little explanation and recap of my life the last year and a half so you know by situation and could maybe give you some insight and you can give me some advice or tips. I am the baby of ten kids, I'm 32 years old with 2 kids and one on the way in July. In November 2012 my father and best friend passed away, I was heartbroken and still am but accepted he isn't here anymore and the good Lord is caring got him so he is in good hands! My dad worked til the dad he died. He had no retirement plan, pension,or any money for my mom to live on when he was gone. My mom has a ton of anxiety and I know that's where I get it from even thou I hate to blame people but i do believe it's heredity and a learned habit. In May my mom lost her mom to foreclosed cause she couldn't afford it anymore. She only gets 650$ in social security a month so it tough and I know that but she burdens me with all her problems. When she lost her home it was on me to find her somewhere to go cause she refuses to live with anyone even thou she can't afford to live on her own. I give her most of my money when I can so she is happy and doesn't complain cause I don't want to hear the negativity anymore of how bad her life sucks. My husband is bitter at me because I am more concerned with my moms problems and ignore my own house hold or give her money that our family needs. She has no car and on of her anxiety issues is being trapped in the house but at the same time she is afraid she take a walk anywhere cause she needs a car by her at all times. But every single day I have to pick her up and drive her around with the two hours I get alone while the kids are at school. She is always with me and I feel bad getting mad cause she did lose my dad but I can't live my life. My house she dirty all the time because I always have to leave to get her to give her a ride somewhere everyday. Last week I got annoyed cause I didn't want to do it one day cause I had a lot of stuff to do at home and she said to me " one day I won't be around anymore for you to drive around" then I felt doubly has bad. If I don't want to do it one day I like the worse person and she is mad. She doesn't treat my brothers and sisters like me. They get to live there life and come by once in a while. Everyday I have to do there and ride her around or give her my car. I'm always depressed when I get home one because I'm so annoyed I have to take my 2 hours, two she talks about bad stuff all the time and a grudge holder, and three my house is always dirty cause I don't have time to do it and it makes me so depressed. I feel like a horrible mother and wife that can't keep a little two bedroom house clean. The rental apartment I got for my mom after the foreclosure, she hasn't paid the rent since December and I know it's only a matter of time before they evicted her and then I stuck trying to find her somewhere else to live. She had the money for rent but keep spending it cause she hates to stay home and goes to stores and spends it. But I want my life back and my happiness. I'm 5 months pregnant and she runs me around like she doesn't care cause she is just worrying about making herself feel better with anxiety that she doesn't care about anything else. I know this was a long confusing post but I just had to get it all out and have someone listen. I need some advice also. My husband always says put your foot down but how can you to your mother.? She was good to us growing up that's why I feel bad getting mad but she has just been so negative and selfish these last years. Always mad at someone for not doing something for her. It's just tough and is making me really depressing. My life feeling like groundhogs day. When she calls my blood pressure goes up cause I know she wants something from me. I have two kids that need me and one on the way and I'm angry and depressed all the time because of all of this. Thanks for listening to my ramble lol! Any input would be greatly appreciated



I know she's your mom- but you have to take care of yourself and your own happiness. I would tell her what days you are avaliable to help out and only make it no more than two a week. Your priorities should be yourself, your husband, and you children. It sounds like she's the root of you anxiety. I'm not saying cut ties since she's your mom, but limit your time. Don't feel like you have to answer the phone when she calls. I would talk with your siblings and let them know you need their help. Her comments like "one day I won't be around" is a ridiculous statement and she sounds almost controlling. She can try to make you feel bad all she wants- but only you can accept it or brush it off. You deserve to enjoy your own family.