I'm done with this. How am I supposed to handle this??

[AliasEQ]

I'm never emotional. But this, this is actually making me cry like a baby. I'm tired. Tired of all this sh*t. I just want it to end and never come back again. A year ago I'd never think that I'd be here. I thought I was strong mentally. I never thought this would hit me. I'm 19 worrying about sh*t like this. I've had lots of problems in my life. Lots of problems between my family. Problems that affects me today. And now this f***ing sh*t comes up, just what I needed.

Oh well. Right now I'm depressed, sick and anxious. How am I supposed to handle this? Because I'm sick I really need some paracetamol. My anxiety is not letting me take it tho, because I fear meds. All kinds, very sensitive. At the same time my depression is saying "F*** it, who cares if you die?"

What am I supposed to do here?

[Cimi]

I'm never emotional. But this, this is actually making me cry like a baby. I'm tired. Tired of all this sh*t. I just want it to end and never come back again. A year ago I'd never think that I'd be here. I thought I was strong mentally. I never thought this would hit me. I'm 19 worrying about sh*t like this. I've had lots of problems in my life. Lots of problems between my family. Problems that affects me today. And now this f***ing sh*t comes up, just what I needed.

Oh well. Right now I'm depressed, sick and anxious. How am I supposed to handle this? Because I'm sick I really need some paracetamol. My anxiety is not letting me take it tho, because I fear meds. All kinds, very sensitive. At the same time my depression is saying "F*** it, who cares if you die?"

What am I supposed to do here?

dont quit the fight man. get up and do something.it takes huge efforts and huge patience. stop asking yourself the question why it happend. it is a fact it did. now u must fight to get out of it. also i strongly suggest some meds. see man when i went to my psychatrist she told me u need medication seriously. i told her i am too afraid. she said in.my case i didnt have an option.nothing to be worried about man.look at me i am better on meds and hopeful it will fix my problem. our shit is serious. dp dr is very very scary thats why we need some medicinal help.it is not that we have some other thing. for me dp dr is the scariest thing around anxiety. if u still dont want meds than u must fight every day every minute with it.

[AliasEQ]

Idk I'm so confused man. I don't know if meds is going to make it worse or better. I'm going to overthink it and end up in some derealization "attack". I really don't know. There's so much that affects my decision.

[AliasEQ]

Also, my worst symptom is dr/dp. I don't think meds will help too much. I can handle my panic attacks very easy. But dr/dp, it's fkn horrible. There is no immediate cure or at least I dont think so.

+ right now I'm really sick. Could be a sinus infection idk.

This causes depression...

[GeneAllen]

This too will pass my friend. It's tough, but don't make it harder, don't fight it, let it be there. You were and are doing better. There is no losing ground as we sometimes think, you'll see. This will pass, peace is there ready to fill the void when it's gone and you'll get back to your old self, but probably new and improved. We've all been down similar roads, and I can assure you you're doing great, and you will overcome, by accepting it as being present now, but not forever. Think of all you've already learned and realized. Keep a journal of all these times. They help stop the worry, and thinking. It will give you perspective too. Take the meds if your doc says too. I know you're afraid, but this will help you. You're NOT going to lose control. Peace

[AliasEQ]

Thank you. This really helps. My irrational/illogical thoughts takes over. I think I'm losing control, but I know I'm not.

[GeneAllen]

You are right on. You are NOT losing control. You're scared, this can be frightening my friend. Go easy on yourself, this is really a time to take good care of yourself. I mean really take the time and let this sink in. David McGraw on you tube has some great meditations, they can help you right now. There are lots of people who have good stuff out there. If you can be around those who care for you, and be as open with them as you can. Write these thoughts down and ask yourself questions. ie: How likely is this, how likely is that, and has it happened before etc? I think each dealing with anxiety is really a day where we can get back into the groove of taking care of ourselves and finding our little slice of peace. Of course when you get back into that mind set you remember how good it feels right? It won't be long, keep posting, stay well. Peace

[BrookeLynnnn]

About two weeks ago I was like you, scared to death to take a pill. For two years I never took a pill.. No Tylenol no Advil not even vitamin C tablets or anything.. If I was prescribed antibiotics for being sick, I took them for maybe 2 days & quit. Two weeks ago I got on meds for my anxiety & I promise you, I sat there for a good while with the pill right in front of me, scared.. But then I told myself, if for some odd reason the pill makes me feel different, would it really be any worse than feeling this anxiety? Now I have no problem taking my meds..

You can do it. The first time taking something different is hard but you have to get through that & then it's a cake walk!

Hope you feel better friend :)

[Michael p]

[QUOTE=AliasEQ;167769]I'm never emotional. But this, this is actually making me cry like a baby. I'm tired. Tired of all this sh*t. I just want it to end and never come back again. A year ago I'd never think that I'd be here. I thought I was strong mentally. I never thought this would hit me. I'm 19 worrying about sh*t like this. I've had lots of problems in my life. Lots of problems between my family. Problems that affects me today. And now this f***ing sh*t comes up, just what I needed.

Oh well. Right now I'm depressed, sick and anxious. How am I supposed to handle this? Because I'm sick I really need some paracetamol. My anxiety is not letting me take it tho, because I fear meds. All kinds, very sensitive. At the same time my depression is saying "F*** it, who cares if you die?"

I swear to you that I have been there more times than I care to remember. Dying would and will be the easiest thing that we sufferers ever have to do, but as "the severe anxiety class", we don't hang it up-we are the strongest people made and that's why this is given to us. I hear and feel your desperation-wait it out, yes, even longer, it will pass, and you will become stronger because of it. There is a lot of research that states that people who suffer from these conditions, (panic/severe anxiety), do so because of an intellect/intuition that is far beyond the normal. I'm not saying we are lucky or better or smarter than others, but I am saying that we are like sponges and don't miss a thing! We take EVERYTHING in and deal with it internally-even the things we think we miss, they come up later subconsciously and either haunt us or just weigh on our mental capacity. I have total faith in you and your resources, and I love that I can relate to people now, due to this site and people like you. I don't want you to have to go thru this, but you are not alone-
EVER!! You will conquer it, and then next time, you will conquer it again-this grows you in ways that you and I may not even realize at the moment, but you will be an instrument for others that deal with this. I have been through the medicine maze and am EXTREMELY sensitive to all of them-I have found not a drug that works, and it can be frustrating. This is where we square up our shoulders, look it in the eye and say, "bring it on!" Get pissed at it and refuse to take it. There are days that I have to treat it exactly like a human being who is trying to destroy my life, and at times it works. Hang in there, hang in there and better moments will come, and those moments will turn into hours and then days. Believe it man, believe it!! Give yourself the credit that you deserve for being one of the strongest people on the planet, because I am surrounded by people who think they are larger than life who could never deal with even a moment of this. Be Strong!! Direct your energies towards something constructive. God Bless!!

[AliasEQ]

Thank you everyone!! I find this very motivating. Most of all, it feels good to not be alone with this damn feeling. However, I took 2x500mg paracetamol pills and it did help a little bit, but I was happy I had the courage to take it. Once again, thank you. Really appreciate and value your answers!

[AliasEQ]

you know at my worse i had panic attack when every my eyes where open . all day every day .

You can do it , but you have to do it .

Dont sit there and bitch about it all and how hard it is and that there is nothing you can do .

Start accepting what is happening today and focus on where you want to get to and work towards that .

You mind is way too over active and i think your best bet is to start teaching it to shut the f%^& up .

Meditation will help with this , so go read about it , learn about it and go and do it . Takes time to work but within a week or so it will show effects .

I know I should stop "b*tching" about it. It's not getting me anywhere. But sometimes it feels good to express how I feel. It feels like it's some kind of a rehabilitation. It snoozes the problem though. I know it's not a sustainable solution, of course.

Also I get alot of support and tips from here. Which makes me look at the problem from a much more "clear" perspective.

Yea, I'll try meditation and see if that helps. Thanks

[Dahila]

Meditation will help with this , so go read about it , learn about it and go and do it . Takes time to work but within a week or so it will show effects .

I see the difference from the First day!!!!~:)
Forwells is so good to see you:)

[Tmr789123]

I don't hve much advice I can give u bro but just tellin ya ur not alone I'm in the same boat..who cares if I'm alive or dead I refused to take meds cuz thy scare the shit out of me. I went to the doctors and got zoloft but it takes a while to kick in. 20 years with no anxiety or panic attacks until a month ago. When my grandparents both passed. Anything like that happen to cause ur anxiety? I don't know ur full story and I know I don't know you but this forum has become a home to me. Great people on here. I'm depressed every day and I feel like it'll never get better. I don't expect to help anyone cuz I can't help myself. I haven't gone out or gone to work in a month. I'm gonna lose my house my job and my car. I wanna end it all and feel like there's no hope. But the only hope I have is my grandmom cuz she came to me one night in a dream. The most real dream I ever had I felt her words her touch, everything. And she said it's gonna b okay so I know there's some little bit of hope and we'll all make it through. And don't be afraid to get help. I was and just recently went to the doctors and a therapist . The therapist is great for talking about how u feel especially if u go to one that specializes in anxiety and depression. And mine told me that meditation is great. She told me do it around the same time every day and do it each time for about two minutes then after a few days go to three minutes..and so on..

[BrookeLynnnn]

you know at my worse i had panic attack when every my eyes where open . all day every day . You can do it , but you have to do it . Dont sit there and bitch about it all and how hard it is and that there is nothing you can do . Start accepting what is happening today and focus on where you want to get to and work towards that . You mind is way too over active and i think your best bet is to start teaching it to shut the f%^& up . Meditation will help with this , so go read about it , learn about it and go and do it . Takes time to work but within a week or so it will show effects .

I just took the meditation advice & meditated for about 10 minutes! Soooo calming! I found a great one on YouTube.

I'm gonna try & do it every morning!

[AliasEQ]

I just took the meditation advice & meditated for about 10 minutes! Soooo calming! I found a great one on YouTube.

I'm gonna try & do it every morning!

Yea, was just listening to one of David Mcgraths videos. Really relaxing! I almost fell asleep tho lol.

[Cimi]

Thank you everyone!! I find this very motivating. Most of all, it feels good to not be alone with this damn feeling. However, I took 2x500mg paracetamol pills and it did help a little bit, but I was happy I had the courage to take it. Once again, thank you. Really appreciate and value your answers!

hey i read somewhere that paracrtamol and a drug called lacmital smth like that really help with dr dp.maybe try those things man.

[Cimi]

hey i read somewhere that paracrtamol and a drug called lacmital smth like that really help with dr dp.maybe try those things man.

oh man also read those recovery stories from dpselfhelp.they give great tips man.

[Enduronman]

maybeeee..you should just think about taking a tiny little pill now!!!!

grrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Ruf ruffff!!!!

You're gettttttinnnnngggg worseeee fastttt and I can't keep up!!!

E-Man.. :)

[AliasEQ]

maybeeee..you should just think about taking a tiny little pill now!!!!

grrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Ruf ruffff!!!!

You're gettttttinnnnngggg worseeee fastttt and I can't keep up!!!

E-Man.. :)

Haha. I did. My friend gave me 20mg citalopram because I was really anxious. I can't say it was the best or smartest idea. I ended up panicking because I was overthinking it. It wasn't really a panic attack, more like a derealization attack.

I'm worse right now because I'm sick :( I'm not having trouble with my panic attacks, they're very easy to handle. But dr/dp is friggin hard to control. I don't know if dr/dp is the cause to my anxiety or vice versa.

Hope you're doing okay with your back man!

[jessed03]

I just took the meditation advice & meditated for about 10 minutes! Soooo calming! I found a great one on YouTube.

I'm gonna try & do it every morning!

Definetly worth it! :)

[Cimi]

man why dont you try those herbal meds.they wont harm you it is just like drinking a tea.kava kava or valerian.try it they are teeas

[Enduronman]

Haha. I did. My friend gave me 20mg citalopram because I was really anxious. I can't say it was the best or smartest idea. I ended up panicking because I was overthinking it. It wasn't really a panic attack, more like a derealization attack.

I'm worse right now because I'm sick :( I'm not having trouble with my panic attacks, they're very easy to handle. But dr/dp is friggin hard to control. I don't know if dr/dp is the cause to my anxiety or vice versa.

Hope you're doing okay with your back man!

You have a friend that takes citalopram??..and that friend probably deals with the same shit as you do but feels better about it??...
You need to get into a Doc Elias, that may be all that you need because I'm guessing that this shit is going to get worse and worse before it gets better bruhhhhhh....
Just being honest, and I don't wanna read a post every day from you that says I'M PRESENTLY FREAKING OUT AND IT ISN'T GETTIN ANY BETTER!!!

A trip to the Doctors is now in order Son...jus sayin

My back is ok at the moment because I'm focusing on this dog eating all of my furniture, shoes, slippers, socks, and everything else in here!!

WAAAHHHHH!!!!!

yay.

E-Man.. :)

[Michael33]

I'm 19 to bro I'm going through some fucked up shit with ocd and derealization all that. Just go beast mode go to the gym a lot and remember to always tell yourself whatever you feel isn't you, it's the illness and the illness is going to go away. You only live once, I'd rather live my entire life getting rid of this because I remember how much I enjoyed it before, so fuck it trust me you'll get better. Excercise eat healthy stay positive and drink decaf green tea before bed it helps me sleep, it's important to get good sleep, put it before anything. And don't drink alcohol, I got fucked this weekend and I feel like shit since then.