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bittersweetgirl
03-03-2014, 07:11 AM
Text this morning from my ex. Not meant in a helpful way. He texted venting that our daughter is tantruming because her school is open and our son's is closed today. He's been demanding to know why I'm so stressed out, when I "only" have 80 per cent custody with no support from family (and two kids with emotional problems). I told him this is why - the tantrums (for one thing). So that's his response to me. He is in a very serious relationship now (she's practically his wife and accompanies him everywhere, though they don't live together), so he has plenty of support that I don't have.

I'm trying to get an emergency appt with a counselor this morning - I can't go if I have to keep her home from school because of her tantrum. Don't know if I can get an appt anyway - was hoping there'd be an opening what with everyone canceling because of the weather.

I'm just really stressed, really depressed, anxious, and a mess. Trying to make decisions and plan the day when my kids are going to be angry because nothing is going their way either.

Venting!!! So ready to get better, but there are so many complications!

petrified
03-03-2014, 07:44 AM
Hi bittersweet having a rant is a great way to let off steam. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with your ex. I'm sure you have explained time and time again how are you are feeling to him but people who have never suffered anxiety just don't seem to get it.
I hope he sent your daughter to school as he wouldn't of been setting a good example keeping her off school. Parenting is so hard! But I no from your previous posts you are doing an amazing job, especially by yourself!
So keep your head up bittersweet and rant as much as you want :-)

bittersweetgirl
03-03-2014, 07:54 AM
Hi bittersweet having a rant is a great way to let off steam. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with your ex. I'm sure you have explained time and time again how are you are feeling to him but people who have never suffered anxiety just don't seem to get it.
I hope he sent your daughter to school as he wouldn't of been setting a good example keeping her off school. Parenting is so hard! But I no from your previous posts you are doing an amazing job, especially by yourself!
So keep your head up bittersweet and rant as much as you want :-)

Thanks, petrified :) I'm trying to calm down - got an email from an old friend and that kind of helped. And he did send her to school - I don't know why I had to be involved in that whole decision-making process?? He's a pushover, so...

He has Asperger's, so really doesn't get it - zero empathy. He's also incredibly tense and anxious, but it doesn't bother him, I guess. And yes - I've explained to him so many times... he's gone on so many trips and vacations since our divorce, including 10/11 days in Italy for fun (he called the kids twice that whole time). Just hard for ME to feel much empathy for him at this point.

petrified
03-03-2014, 08:00 AM
Thanks, petrified :) I'm trying to calm down - got an email from an old friend and that kind of helped. And he did send her to school - I don't know why I had to be involved in that whole decision-making process?? He's a pushover, so...

He has Asperger's, so really doesn't get it - zero empathy. He's also incredibly tense and anxious, but it doesn't bother him, I guess. And yes - I've explained to him so many times... he's gone on so many trips and vacations since our divorce, including 10/11 days in Italy for fun (he called the kids twice that whole time). Just hard for ME to feel much empathy for him at this point.

I'm not surprised your finding it hard to empathise with him. He is their parent also and they still need you both to act as team, even now!
I'm pleased your daughter got to school though and it's always fab to hear from people we care about especially on our rubbish days.
Did you manage to get an appointment?

bittersweetgirl
03-03-2014, 08:10 AM
I'm not surprised your finding it hard to empathise with him. He is their parent also and they still need you both to act as team, even now!
I'm pleased your daughter got to school though and it's always fab to hear from people we care about especially on our rubbish days.
Did you manage to get an appointment?

No appt yet :( . Clock is ticking... just about out of time for it now.

He practically bolted when we got separated - he was so happy to get back into his hobbies, and traveling, and stuff that keeps people pretty centered. He didn't ask for 50/50 custody, and I'm not feeling confident about giving it to a parent with Asperger's anyway. Not that I'm much better, with my anxiety! But at least I'm trying.

Thanks :)

petrified
03-03-2014, 10:22 AM
Your doing an amazing job bittersweet, there is no need to thank me everyone on here that has read your posts can see that. There is loads of people out there with depression and anxiety that are doing a great job bringing up children!
No I wouldn't feel comfortable letting him have them too much either, plus I think he needs to prove himself a bit more too!
Hope you have managed to calm yourself down

bittersweetgirl
03-03-2014, 06:22 PM
Your doing an amazing job bittersweet, there is no need to thank me everyone on here that has read your posts can see that. There is loads of people out there with depression and anxiety that are doing a great job bringing up children!
No I wouldn't feel comfortable letting him have them too much either, plus I think he needs to prove himself a bit more too!
Hope you have managed to calm yourself down

Yes, had a pretty good day - though anxious again since my daughter is sick and coughing. Managed to get my ex to take her tomorrow - otherwise I might as well give up on any treatment for anxiety. School is always out or a kid is sick or the roads are iced over - I rarely get out anymore!! Ahhh!!

petrified
03-04-2014, 01:08 AM
Yes, had a pretty good day - though anxious again since my daughter is sick and coughing. Managed to get my ex to take her tomorrow - otherwise I might as well give up on any treatment for anxiety. School is always out or a kid is sick or the roads are iced over - I rarely get out anymore!! Ahhh!!
Pleased you had a great day. School becomes a lifeline when we are anxious.
It's great you managed to get a sitter though!
I hope she is feeling better soon and you manage to get son treatment :-)