To date or not to date?

[BrokenWings001]

Ok so i just got officially divorced in January. Ex and I have been split for quite some time but we were on and off for years. Were not getting back together but i let him come over a lot because it seems to improve my kids attitude. Some friends of mine think I'm bein stupid but i think its because i won't date. Ppl have been askin me out but i turn them all down. I just don't think with all my problems i have n the fact my kids n i r goin through this divorce stuff that its the time to think about that. I got more important things to deal with in my opinion. Its just there's a time n place for everything n i don't think this is the time. Anyone back me up?

[bittersweetgirl]

Ok so i just got officially divorced in January. Ex and I have been split for quite some time but we were on and off for years. Were not getting back together but i let him come over a lot because it seems to improve my kids attitude. Some friends of mine think I'm bein stupid but i think its because i won't date. Ppl have been askin me out but i turn them all down. I just don't think with all my problems i have n the fact my kids n i r goin through this divorce stuff that its the time to think about that. I got more important things to deal with in my opinion. Its just there's a time n place for everything n i don't think this is the time. Anyone back me up?

I'm debating a similar issue right now. I was separated/divorced a couple years ago. I'm dealing with recently uncovered childhood issues that have apparently led me to one jerk after another, and it's caused even more damage to me and my kids. However! I adore men (good men), and still have hope that I'll find one. I do want a healthy relationship. I've set some rules in place to keep these jerks from getting to me now (plan to move very slowly - time limits for stuff, etc.) so I might be okay. I don't want to punish myself by not dating because I feel (inaccurately?) like I'm too screwed up for a relationship ... not sure if that made sense, sorry.

If you don't feel like it's the time - and I'm wondering the same for myself - then I envy you for having the strength to stand on your own! But... it can be confusing to kids if the ex is over a lot and the parents are buddies (learned that in my divorced parenting class - who knows, but that's what they said. It can give kids false hope). And dating CAN be fun - it's rough out there though too, so I highly recommend strict boundaries (especially for those of us who are here battling struggles, and more vulnerable).

[Enduronman]

It reaaalllllllyyyy depends on the age and level of maturity of the kids...IMHO...
Divorce is tough and just as hard on them too....I've been there.
You don't want them to see you "bringing in the replacement" if you know what I mean...because they'll resent it.
All depends on the individual circumstances, the child, the relationship with the other parent, and probably many other variables that I haven't covered here too..

Just some thoughts...

E-Man..:)

[BrokenWings001]

Thank you guys. I really appreciate n value ur opinions. :) N yes i understand where ur comin from.