Embarrassed

[Niicole Lynne]

I never want to admit this because I feel it is stupid and I don't understand it myself
But I feel it is the root of all evil so here goes...
I suffer from the fear of death... The whole thing just scares me. I don't even know how to explain it.
I am working with a counsellor to help me
But lately it's all I can think of and it is distracting me from everyday things which isn't good.
Questions.. Wondering why.. Being mad.. Being terrified... I just don't know

So I'm reaching out
Anyone else feel this way
And if so, how do you cope everyday so it's not the center

[Enduronman]

Don't be embarassed Nicole.
I have seen a sudden shift here in the forums in the past day or two.
You're not the only one, there are at least 6 others out there with these same fears..
I've been here for quite some time (disabled) and I see many new people join the forums, see there stories, we all try to help in whatever way we can, and many
Of them recover too...regardless of the issues at hand but this is a first for me and seeing soooo mannnyyy with this same story to share.
Afraid to sleep, afraid of death, and its consuming many others here too..I'm trying to figure out how to help with this one for sure.
And when they share enough of their story, its easy to see that its some sort of pre or post traumatic stress disorder caused and triggered by different things...
I'm hoping some of the other Senior members can offer you and I both some insight into this because the more we know, the more we can help you...

Enduronman..

[lucy88]

I never want to admit this because I feel it is stupid and I don't understand it myself
But I feel it is the root of all evil so here goes...
I suffer from the fear of death... The whole thing just scares me. I don't even know how to explain it.
I am working with a counsellor to help me
But lately it's all I can think of and it is distracting me from everyday things which isn't good.
Questions.. Wondering why.. Being mad.. Being terrified... I just don't know

So I'm reaching out
Anyone else feel this way
And if so, how do you cope everyday so it's not the center

Its my biggest fear ive even wrote letters for my kids and i plan on buying special birthday cards. Thats what scares me that i dont get to say bye so i did the letters it helped me alot i still have this fear but knowing i have these letters has made coping a little easier. X

[Niicole Lynne]

Its my biggest fear ive even wrote letters for my kids and i plan on buying special birthday cards. Thats what scares me that i dont get to say bye so i did the letters it helped me alot i still have this fear but knowing i have these letters has made coping a little easier. X

Thank you lucy88

[BlessedMom]

I never want to admit this because I feel it is stupid and I don't understand it myself
But I feel it is the root of all evil so here goes...
I suffer from the fear of death... The whole thing just scares me. I don't even know how to explain it.
I am working with a counsellor to help me
But lately it's all I can think of and it is distracting me from everyday things which isn't good.
Questions.. Wondering why.. Being mad.. Being terrified... I just don't know

So I'm reaching out
Anyone else feel this way
And if so, how do you cope everyday so it's not the center

I worry about it a lot too.... I don't have the answers unfortunately as to how to fix it but wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

[raggamuffin]

Fear of death is extremly common. We're the only animal on earth blessed and cursed with knowing our own mortality. Problem is when you have anxiety and your day to day is overwhelmed with fear and worry, then death can easily become a fixation and obsession. Anxiety tends to leave you with a lack of safety or stability in your life and so death is the ultimate conclusion to all of the negative feelings and with all thie fear and worry you'll probabvly start feeling odd aches, pains and symptoms. Then the aches and pains become fixations for possible illnesses or diseases that could result in death etc.

But everyone knows that life is finite. That's why people say it's so precious. A fear of death is why religions exist and why people feel the need to be socialities, adrenlaine seekers, backpackers, adventurewrs etc. People want to cram as much as they can into life because in relative terms it's so short. Fear of dying can be the result of a loss in the family too, or seeing people very ill and such like.

Having a head full of questions and what if's is pretty common in life, but with anxiety it can make your mind feel like it's sped up and, as you said, it can distract you from being able to function in your day to day tasks. But in reality; keeping busy is something that's very positive. Nobody knows what the future holds. When I was a teewnager, before I was even struck with anxiety pains I spent years worrying about the possibility of WW3, the end of the bworld, supervolcanoes, nuclear war etc etc. I remember reading about it in a double page spread in a newspaper. Detonation of the tsar boma nuclear test with big bold letters HOW THE WORLD WILL END. I froze as soon as I saw it, felt utterly sick and empty inside as if a chasm was opening up right inside of me. I read about the 10+ possible ways humanity could be wiped out and to be honest...it was a very very stressful moment in my life. From then on I felt empty, hollow. Like I was living life on borrowed time.

It could certainly be where my anxiety stemmed from now that I think about it. From then on I always kept thinking in the negative, worrying, wondering the worst etc. It took many years for me to rerach a point of acceptance and that's also somewhere you have to get to with anxiety. I told myself that nobody will know or can know if the world will end. Plus i've now lived through many end of the world predictions unscathed. As a child when I saw such reports on the news however, they deeply deeply troubled me and I went through the day petrified expecting everything to be over within a few moments. Those could easily be moments in life that might have resulted in PTSD. Might seem somewhat trivial to some people but when you've spent most of your life in your own company and have an overactive imagination - being told that the world will end on a specific day caused me incredible amounts of mental anguish.

I think that's how people can wind up living when it comes to anxiety. Especially when it starts dishing out physical symptoms or speeding things up in your head so much that you literally feel like you're in another world compared to everyone else. It can be very testing but at the end of the day acceptance is required. Death sucks, but it'll happen. When? We can never know. Besides who'd want to know? People who do find out they have an illness that will result in death often wind up feeling very calm and accepting in the end. People can spend their whole life wondering "when will I die?" to be given a deadline as it were can actually fill people with a huge sense of relief. TYhat's why people keep busy and live their lives, as cheesy as that sounds. But life has many wonderful opportunities and unfortunately people can become so self absorbed and bogged down in the worries and depressing "what if's" conjured up in an anxious mind that life passes them by.

Anyway I feel like i'm waffling a lot here. But work with your therapist and really ndig deep and be as honest as you can. Anything you felt awkward talking about or getting out in a session, write it down in a letter or email and give it to your therapist so you can try and discuss things in the next session.

Ed

[iloveyu29]

Im also scared of death but i always say this, "its going to happen. I can't stop or control it why worry about it. Everytime. I consume my mind, Im taking away from my time." and when i have high anxiety and.i say that. It drops dramatically.... You can't stop it... Prevent it.... So why worry.... Just live happy :)

[Niicole Lynne]

Im also scared of death but i always say this, "its going to happen. I can't stop or control it why worry about it. Everytime. I consume my mind, Im taking away from my time." and when i have high anxiety and.i say that. It drops dramatically.... You can't stop it... Prevent it.... So why worry.... Just live happy :)

I try to do that all the time
It's like I can't accept it and it just became fully real to me now
I don't understand
It scares me so much I don't know how to deal

[Goomba]

All you can ever do is live in the moment, the rest is fluff. You're anxious because you're stressing about what may happen in the future. We tend to
try and plan out our whole lives, and when we start to realize that the picture could possibly not be as pretty as we painted it, it is a violent wake up call. But, we grow from it. On the other hand, you could set the world record for longest life! You never truly know, and worrying about the fluff, chewing the possibilities, etc, won't help you progress. Be grateful for today. Be happy for now. Realize now you can experience and live and grow, and don't wait until tomorrow to do it.

[Amy Smith]

I never want to admit this because I feel it is stupid and I don't understand it myself
But I feel it is the root of all evil so here goes...
I suffer from the fear of death... The whole thing just scares me. I don't even know how to explain it.
I am working with a counsellor to help me
But lately it's all I can think of and it is distracting me from everyday things which isn't good.
Questions.. Wondering why.. Being mad.. Being terrified... I just don't know

So I'm reaching out
Anyone else feel this way
And if so, how do you cope everyday so it's not the center

Don't be embarassed, you're not alone. This is my biggest fear, I recently have been coping with it a lot better. The only way I am getting better isn't from my therapist, but by putting Faith in God. The closer I become with God, the easier I can accept death in my life. I'm a control freak. I don't have control over my death. I have to keep telling myself out. It's up to God when it is your time to go. This also helps me with my anxiety and panic attacks as well.

[NixonRulz]

I agree with EMan that we have had an influx of people lately coing in with similar fears

I believe some people view death differently, depending on your faith

Either death is the beginning or the end. I chose to believe the former.

When I was in 3rd grade, we had fire prevention day.

I became the biggest pain in the ass to my family becasue I swore the house would catch on fire and we would all die

I made evacuation plans, had ropes for repelling out of windows, had the hose turned on with the nozzle hanging on the railing just in case

I had no idea that behavior was just a precursor for things to come in my life that eventually would bring me to meet you fine people

I got over that somehow but that was my first bout with the fear of dying, meaning a really powerful fear

Fast forward until now and I no longer have those type fears

I believe that many people fear death because they have many things left unfinished regarding the things they set out to accomplish and the relationships they have envisioned

Not the actual fear of death itself, but what it brings to others

My concern over the last years, but not a fear, was that I would die before my kids were old enough to remember me

Now that they are old enough, I have told both my kids and wife that if I die tomorrow, I would die truly happy

My 2 little bastards seem as if they are trying to kill me sometime but they are what drives me and if you don't believe in an absolute soul mate, you should because I married mine

There are plenty of things that I still want to do and see and hope to live a long life

But I have a check mark next to the 3 things in my life that matter most.

So when I do die, I don't believe I left anything unfinished

I don't claim to know what drives anyone's fear of death, this post is more about how I came to accept it

[Enduronman]

Thank you to everyone who is contributing here, very good points and alot of real experiences too...

Enduronman.. :)

[trinidiva]

I have that fear too. I eventually have to talk myself into just enjoying that day, that moment. ....and not to dwell on the negative thoughts. I think it helps me not to watch the news or watch a ton of crime or medical health programs......

You will get through this. Just learn to enjoy things day by day.

[lizard0921]

Death is one of my biggest fears! Each and every day it's on mind. I pray to God to bless me and my loved ones with another day to be together.

Whenever I hear about death, I freak out. It stays on my mind. Especially if people tell me how it happened. I ask myself, "It can happen to anyone. It can happen to me. One day it will." I don't think I can handle losing someone so close to me, or the thought of leaving this earth and leaving my son without his mom terrifies me!

My husband tries to give me advice of how I can't go on life thinking what if today is my last day. I have to live day by day. Enjoy my son, my loved ones company. Thank God for a new day!....I wished it was that easy! Especially when you suffer from crazy symptoms that make you think you're ill.

[Niicole Lynne]

Death is one of my biggest fears! Each and every day it's on mind. I pray to God to bless me and my loved ones with another day to be together. Whenever I hear about death, I freak out. It stays on my mind. Especially if people tell me how it happened. I ask myself, "It can happen to anyone. It can happen to me. One day it will." I don't think I can handle losing someone so close to me, or the thought of leaving this earth and leaving my son without his mom terrifies me! My husband tries to give me advice of how I can't go on life thinking what if today is my last day. I have to live day by day. Enjoy my son, my loved ones company. Thank God for a new day!....I wished it was that easy! Especially when you suffer from crazy symptoms that make you think you're ill.

I feel like you just explained me better than I can explain myself. Down to a T almost.
It really sucks
I guess I just need to learn to live in the moment not the future
But as you said... If it was only so easy

Btw thank you everyone else for your words and comments
They have given me a lot to think about today.

[lizard0921]

This is actually the 2nd time I have admitted to people that I'm terrified of dying! Sometimes I ask myself if maybe talking to a professional would help me? The future scares me! I think a lot and worry a lot. For example, "Am I always going to feel this way? Will I be able to do it?" It's such a scary thing! I must agree with you 100%.....WE HAVE TO LIVE FOR THE MOMENT! I always try to remain sane & stronger than ever. Hoping that God helps me overcome this. At least learn to live with it.

If you ever need someone to talk to you can always message me :) Have a good day, friend!

[Fourteen14]

Firstly this post is not meant to upset anyone, to sound flippant or cause distress.

But simply put. Point 1. EVERYONE is BORN with no control over it.

Point 2. EVERYONE will DIE with no control over it.

Point 3. EVERYONE does have a CHOICE over how they spend the time in between.

Worrying about death/dying results in wasting the time you are well and you have no control over the above points 1,2&3.

If you choose to live your time to the full and appreciate every second of your future, still having no control over the above points 1&2 but you do take control over point 3.

The likelihood is most people will live into their late 70's at least, the odds are stacked heavily in your favour, why throw your current health away when this is the very thing you fear the most?

[lizard0921]

Firstly this post is not meant to upset anyone, to sound flippant or cause distress.

But simply put.

Point 1. EVERYONE is BORN with no control over it. Point 2. EVERYONE will DIE with no control over it.

Point 3. EVERYONE does have a CHOICE over how they spend the time in between.

Worrying about death/dying results in wasting the time your are well and you have no control over the above points 1,2&3.

If you choose to live your time to the full and appreciate every second of your future, still having no control over the above points
1&2 but you do take control over point 3.

The likelihood is most people will live into their late 70's at least, the odds are stacked heavily in your favour, why throw your current health away when this is the very thing you fear the most?

Nicely said!

[Enduronman]

Very well put I agree!!

E-Man. :)

[amaranthe]

Wow... I've been feeling exactly like you are lately. I even posted about it a few days ago. We're in the same boat and I bet I'm just as scared as you are. It is hard to explain, you're right. I look down at myself and think... "This body isn't even mine. It's just temporary...". It's been very disturbing. I have been doing better about those thoughts though. I just try my best to "block" them. Distracting is my own greatest weapon against anxiety.

[NixonRulz]

Wow... I've been feeling exactly like you are lately. I even posted about it a few days ago. We're in the same boat and I bet I'm just as scared as you are. It is hard to explain, you're right. I look down at myself and think... "This body isn't even mine. It's just temporary...". It's been very disturbing. I have been doing better about those thoughts though. I just try my best to "block" them. Distracting is my own greatest weapon against anxiety.

Distraction is your greatest weapon but Acceptance will be the cure

[j2005]

Nix is right on the money! I think he stated the meta-solution to anxiety.

[Niicole Lynne]

Nix is right on the money! I think he stated the meta-solution to anxiety.

Just gotta find the easy way to do it lol

[NixonRulz]

Nix is right on the money! I think he stated the meta-solution to anxiety.

Thats the biggest avatar I have ever seen

You must be Superman

How did you do that?

[bittersweetgirl]

A counselor asked in our group therapy session what our biggest fear was... two of us said car accidents (I've got a family history of terrible car accidents) and most of the rest said death. The counselor was surprised because normally everyone says they're afraid of death.

[Enduronman]

I never knew that this fear was so prominent...but I'm learning!!...

Hopes for better days!

Enduronman... :)