so depressed

[Tmr789123]

I am so depressed due to my anxiety/panic attacks/agoraphobia. I dont know what to do. Im too afraid to leave my house, i havent been to work in two weeks (uncle owns business). i really am contemplating suicide and I really dont know why. Ive never been depressed before. My whole life has been good. Ive got a job, a home, a cat, a great family and I have nothing to be worried or anxious about. Its only been since i had my first panic attack a month ago (have had 3 more after then) its driving me insane and I dont know what to do. My uncle committed suicide due to the same problems and I really dont want to end up that way but I cant take being afraid to leave my own house. not even at my house ive been staying with my parents ( im 20 ) please someone shed some light for me im going CRAZY!

[letssee]

Once you realize it isn't your fault, it gets easier.

I have only been out of my apartment on average 3-4 days a month, and 10 times by myself total, since late July. A few weeks ago it was -45 degrees out. I changed out of my pajamas, wrote a 6-7 page suicide note for my boyfriend, and got as far as opening the front door before I realized something; there was a time when I didn't feel this way, and I need to desperately cling onto that because that means there's hope. So I told on myself because I got scared that I got so close, and I love him, and would never want to do anything to hurt him. It sounds like you have people who need you too, and the best thing you can do for yourself right now is tell on yourself before it progresses any further.

Think of how it felt to not be this way, and use that to remind yourself that you ARE capable of doing great things, and be gentle with yourself for a bit. Take care of yourself. Nurture yourself.

My point is that it's *not* your fault, you're *not* alone, and you *do* have it in you to be better than this.

It's never too late to turn things around.

Have a good one <3

[Tmr789123]

I've been home pretty much the same too. I rarely go out and I don't know what to do. I still feel very hesitant to go out an idk what to do. Is like what do I do if I start freaking out and get nervous and my heart starts racing and then I get terrified

[Fourteen14]

I am so depressed due to my anxiety/panic attacks/agoraphobia. I dont know what to do. Im too afraid to leave my house, i havent been to work in two weeks (uncle owns business). i really am contemplating suicide and I really dont know why. Ive never been depressed before. My whole life has been good. Ive got a job, a home, a cat, a great family and I have nothing to be worried or anxious about. Its only been since i had my first panic attack a month ago (have had 3 more after then) its driving me insane and I dont know what to do. My uncle committed suicide due to the same problems and I really dont want to end up that way but I cant take being afraid to leave my own house. not even at my house ive been staying with my parents ( im 20 ) please someone shed some light for me im going CRAZY!

Hi Tmr

Sounds like you have a lot going on right now, have been to see a doc about this?

(Apologies if I am repeating anything already said, I've not had time to read through the threads properly so far)?

[Tmr789123]

You're good lol. I hve my therapist tomorrow night but it's my second time going and I don't really want to take medication or anything like that because I have a very addictive personality and I used to do drugs... So I def don't want anything with potential to get me "high" because I will end up using it like that if it came I it. Just looking out for myself but I'd rather beat it any other way haha.. Any natural way

[Fourteen14]

You're good lol. I hve my therapist tomorrow night but it's my second time going and I don't really want to take medication or anything like that because I have a very addictive personality and I used to do drugs... So I def don't want anything with potential to get me "high" because I will end up using it like that if it came I it. Just looking out for myself but I'd rather beat it any other way haha.. Any natural way

SSRI (used for both depression & anxiety) shouldn't give you a high. They literally balance out the chemical exchange in the brain (to make you stable not high).

It may also help with the addictive behaviour (addiction goes hand in hand with anxiety and depressive conditions) drug misuse / alcohol is often referred to as "self medication" as it increases a neurotransmitter called "dopamine".

Just be as open and honest with your therapist, despite what some people think/fear of them, the majority are there to help you get well not create you more problems.

[Fourteen14]

Sorry just seen the back of your question

SSRI are not natural, but personally if you are feeling thoughts of suicide I would seriously consider conventional medicine

Apologies to naturopaths on here (I have my professional head on tonight) :)

[Tmr789123]

Oh yes I know there's meds that won't get me high but I just fear of taking meds every day because when they wear off I feel like my anxiety will be 20x worse. And idk if I can handle that. And I feel very comfortable around my therapist and my dad also comes with me. I have no problem with him there.

[Fourteen14]

Oh yes I know there's meds that won't get me high but I just fear of taking meds every day because when they wear off I feel like my anxiety will be 20x worse. And idk if I can handle that. And I feel very comfortable around my therapist and my dad also comes with me. I have no problem with him there.

It's really good that you are getting along with your therapist.

Medication is obviously your choice, it is really common to fear meds, soooooo many do.

However a couple of things to consider

* Medication combined with therapy has a 75% success rate.

* Which is worse, the fear of taking meds of the fear of feeling like you do now?


Discuss it through with your psych they will help you make the best choice for you.

[Fourteen14]

Tim, Sometimes you have to focus on the what IS rather than not doing something like an SSRI based only on a what IF. When you've learned how to deal with the anxiety, if you no longer need meds then, there is nothing to say you will feel your anxiety far worse. There are a lot of people here who no longer require meds and have not had the terrible rebound anxiety your fearing. Either way you cross that bridge IF you ever get to it. It's that pesky anticipatory anxiety I talked to you about again. It's holding you back from help and recovery today. If you want to find natural solutions then that is certainly your choice but do so freely with your information well understood, not because you're afraid of a what if ok friend. :)

Great post Frankie!

[Tmr789123]

We'll I have the lorazepam 0.5mg my uncle gave me so I was going to take one like an hour before I have to go or so. It will be my first time taking one. And also I'm not totally against medicine I just would only like to take them if I absolutely need them but not every day. And another question; if I take some med do u think I can go out and have a completely normal day..?..like I used to...

[Fourteen14]

We'll I have the lorazepam 0.5mg my uncle gave me so I was going to take one like an hour before I have to go or so. It will be my first time taking one. And also I'm not totally against medicine I just would only like to take them if I absolutely need them but not every day. And another question; if I take some med do u think I can go out and have a completely normal day..?..like I used to...

Benzo's (Lorazepam) are a different type of drug (and can be addictive) over the long term.

My best advise is to go through your options, and give all your concerns to your doc and agree on a professional treatment plan.

Wishing you the very best :)

[Tmr789123]

Yeah I'm gonna see what I can do. So u think I should take one tomorrow? And do you think it will help? If u know anything about it idk haha I'm not familiar with anxiety too much yet I've only been having problems for about a month now so I'm a newbie lol

[Fourteen14]

Tim Benzos have their place and they help a lot of people. So let me be clear, I say this specifically with your comments in mind. You said you are vulnerable to addiction and admit that you feel likely to abuse medication. With that being said then would it not make far more sense for you to hold off from taking benzos and get on an SSRI that can help stabilise you potentially yet has not got abuse potential?

This was my train of thought also Frankie :)