I Have Had Every Type of Cancer

[simp]

Hey you all, new here, but wanted to make a thread in here to share some of my symptoms in life and explain my current fears, maybe find some comforting.

I have had anxiety and depression since I was a kid, early elementary school years. I have been on anti-depressants, talked to doctors, sometimes things are good, sometimes they are bad, sometimes I have no stress, sometimes I feel like the world is caving in.

I am 25 now and have felt more anxiety growing through the past couple of years. For my entire life I would get horrible stomach aches, seeming to come from stress. This started in middle school, probably earlier, and continue to this day. I get really hot, very uncomfortable, irritable, and typically need to find a bathroom. If I am out of the house and start to feel this way, things happen fast and things get bad. It's usually easily cured though if I can just take my mind off of it, find a movie to watch, play a game, etc. This leads me to think it's some sort of anxiety attack. I also think I have IBS, so when my IBS flares up, it triggers some anxiety, and everything happens. I can sometimes notice a change in how I feel depending on diet, exercise, the anti-depressant I am on, and what's going on in life.

My biggest fear is cancer. I know why cancer is scary, it's scary to anyone, but I don't know why it got put into my head so many years ago as possibly my ultimate fear. The past few years I have had to deal with cancer in other family members, although I handled them well at the time, I feel now, everything has caught up to me.

This past week I swore up and down I had testicular cancer, possibly prostate cancer, and anything else. I had a lump on both testicles, I developed symptoms of prostate cancer including urinary tract issues such as weak stream, issues emptying the bladder, etc. I went to my doctor, she knew how stressed I was and was able to get me into see a urologist hours later. No prostate cancer, no testicular cancer, not even a UTI. Hours later I could pee normally again. Now two days later I think I have colon cancer, stomach cancer, or maybe even gallbladder cancer. Why? I felt a tiny little hard bump on my upper right abdomen. I felt it before a long time ago and thought it came and went, now I am convinced it's cancer. One rough panic attack today, I have a doctors appointment a week from tomorrow just as a general checkup, but I may not wait that long. Now I am convinced all the stomach aches were really signs that I have cancer. They even did a CT scan on my stomach years ago (a little over 10 probably) but did not find cancer, they did mention a thickening on my lower intestinal wall, but nobody has seemed concerned about it since?

I know I am not alone, but I have no clue what to do. I tell my doctors I need anxiety medicine, I have anti-depressants but they just help with my depressed moods. My anxiety is at an all time high, I can't work, I can't stop looking for symptoms, I run to Google, make lists on what I have, massive panic attacks, it's simply horrible. It's not a good way to live and the scary part is I don't know what symptoms are real, made up in my head, or ones to be worried about. Sometimes I'm even worried if I don't act this way then some type of disease may come and I will ignore it. I can sit in bed and just think that my body is being eaten away from the inside and I don't even know.

So pretty much right now, as I type this, I am convinced I have some type of cancer in my stomach. I guess I got my lower half cleared so we're moving on up.

[vonnhelsing]

Hey buddy..
I can totally relate to everything you've said. Except the testicular cancer fear obviously : p
What definitely worries me the most is that I will not be able to tell which ones are anxiety symptoms and which ones are a genuine issue. Im scared one day I will actually have a legitimate health issue and I will just dismiss is at anxiety.. how are we to know which ones are for real? Anxiety can mimic literally almost any disease or illness. . Its nerve wrecking and stressful.
I go for a check up once a year just to reassure myself the slightest bit. Sometimes every 6 months.

I think you should try some anxiety medication. Yeah anti depressants help too for those horrible blues but the root cause is anxiety..

[simp]

Hey buddy..
I can totally relate to everything you've said. Except the testicular cancer fear obviously : p
What definitely worries me the most is that I will not be able to tell which ones are anxiety symptoms and which ones are a genuine issue. Im scared one day I will actually have a legitimate health issue and I will just dismiss is at anxiety.. how are we to know which ones are for real? Anxiety can mimic literally almost any disease or illness. . Its nerve wrecking and stressful.
I go for a check up once a year just to reassure myself the slightest bit. Sometimes every 6 months.

I think you should try some anxiety medication. Yeah anti depressants help too for those horrible blues but the root cause is anxiety..

Thanks for the reply, definitely sounds like the same feelings I have. Glad I'm not alone.

I'd like to try some anxiety meds, I'm going to push it when I go back, at least something to help.

[Fourteen14]

Thanks for the reply, definitely sounds like the same feelings I have. Glad I'm not alone. I'd like to try some anxiety meds, I'm going to push it when I go back, at least something to help.

Hi Simp Basically I was YOU at your current age!

The testicular cancer thing (I literally spent an hour in the bath every night feeling for lumps and bumps, always found something, which was actually all the tubes/veins etc, but still spent the whole night throwing up, crying scared out of my mind.

Then the prostate problems , urinating, sexual dysfunction the works for months, finally went to the docs, and turned out I had been tensing myself so much (as we do with anxiety) I had caused all the tiny muscle around the perineum to spasm and lock which was causing all the issues, lots of hot baths and muscle relaxants and it got better over 6 weeks.

Then lung/throat cancer was high on the agenda, (smoker at the time) followed by finding out I had a grandparent die of bowl cancer, then it was all about the bowl/stomach.

Later stages it shifted to worrying about the heart after palpitations and constant BP checking with a home monitor. Followed by dizziness and vertigo like symptoms (obviously worry about possible brain tumour/bleeds).

11 years on I am still here, and despite the odd head cold haven't even had 1 day off sick from work. I do however feel as if I robbed myself of my 20's

You are not alone!

[simp]

That is wild, I did the same thing almost every night until they were sore. One doctor said "relax and leave the boys alone." haha

I had the same thing about prostate cancer. Just this past week or two. Well it started with concerns from the testicular lumps and dull pain again, then I decided I have both, or at least prostate cancer when I started having issues emptying my bladder.

I don't smoke or drink, but have also considered lung cancer in the past. I've even gone to one extreme once when I had an ache in my toe and was convinced I had some type of bone cancer in my toe. lol I do worry about heart issues, that SHOULD be my main concern because heart issues do run in my family. One would think I'd be overly paranoid about that, I care about my health, but for some reason my anxiety always aims at cancer. Something about the unknown and so many variables I guess. Also everyday you hear of someone getting cancer, passing from cancer, etc.

Glad I am not alone, I've been browsing the site a bit today and have read a lot of very similar stories, definitely makes me feel a little better.

[Fourteen14]

That is wild, I did the same thing almost every night until they were sore. One doctor said "relax and leave the boys alone." haha I had the same thing about prostate cancer. Just this past week or two. Well it started with concerns from the testicular lumps and dull pain again, then I decided I have both, or at least prostate cancer when I started having issues emptying my bladder. I don't smoke or drink, but have also considered lung cancer in the past. I've even gone to one extreme once when I had an ache in my toe and was convinced I had some type of bone cancer in my toe. lol I do worry about heart issues, that SHOULD be my main concern because heart issues do run in my family. One would think I'd be overly paranoid about that, I care about my health, but for some reason my anxiety always aims at cancer. Something about the unknown and so many variables I guess. Also everyday you hear of someone getting cancer, passing from cancer, etc. Glad I am not alone, I've been browsing the site a bit today and have read a lot of very similar stories, definitely makes me feel a little better.

Cancer does seem to be everywhere on the news/friends/neighbours etc and it would be easy to believe it was a major risk in our daily lives. However, it's really interesting when you look at the statistics, in the western world, premature death (under 65 years old) from any illness Cancer/heart/etc, is around 1% of the population each year.

So you can safely stop worrying for at least another 40 years or so :)

The no,1 cause of death by a long way is OLD AGE. Yet we never worry about that. Crazy isn't it? :)

[lorenzo18]

I have been through this for my entire life. Started when I was a kid. I was in the 5th grade and one day I swallowed something and it got stuck. I was so sacred I didn't eat for 6 months. Literally. I would only eat soup, ice cream, milk and anything that would go down easy. It got so bad my parents took me to a psychologist and i still wouldn't eat. Finally I was hanging out with some friends and they were eating chips, I said screw this I'm going to try one. What do you know nothing got stuck. I went home and ate so much that day I made myself sick. Lol I was fine after that for a few years them I noticed a lump on one of my testicles, made me worried for a while and I was too scared to tell anyone. Finally I had a panic attack and went to the ER, I ended up telling them and they did a ultra scan. It came back benign. So again back to normal for a few years. All this time I still have a deep thought on the back of my head that I had some kinda of cancer. It's recently I thought I had esophagus cancer, had a endoscopy and everything came back Normal. I was fine for a few months. Then the heart troubles came, thought I had a heart problem. Went to the ER 8 times in the last 3 months. EKGs and blood work always normal. Said it was panic and anxiety attacks and conversion syndrome. Went to a cardiologist and did all the test ( echo, stress test) and they came back normal. I told the cardiologist about my anxiety and panic attacks and her decided to put me on lexapro. I finally have in and started taking it 6 days ago. I still think there is something wrong with me but I'm going to give this a chance. Hope it helps. I'm a hypercondriac or so that's what my family and friends tell me. Sound like you may have a little bit of that going on also. We mimic stuff we see when we google it. It's sucks.

[GYDA]

I'm exactly the same mate, I've diagnosed myself with around 5 different cancers, absolutely 100% convinced i have them my symptoms match perfectly! But each time I have the test done, it comes back all clear and I feel stupid but theres nothing more scary than thinking you have cancer in my eyes, i'm absolutely petrified of it. My latest one is lymphoma, I have a lump on my neck, but unfortunately for this cancer theres no easy test, they have to cut the lymph node out and check it, so its not something they send patients for easily. I've been to see 5-6 different doctors about it in the past year and a half, none of them seem the slightest bit concerned by it, not one of them's mentioned getting it cut out, which is obviously making my anxiety go through the roof for ages because I haven't had the vital test that clears my mind. Then this morning i've found a lump on the inside of my groin, but i'm trying to ignore that and not make myself look stupid at the doctors anymore!

Having anxiety's so funn.. not! haha wish i could just let it all go.

[El Lukio]

Dude, listen to Fourteen14. He is the voice of reason. My fears were the same as yours - I was convincing myself I had every cancer going. Coming on here has helped me so much. And Fourteen14's stats about 1% made me feel a whole lot better.

You're not alone in this.

[Fourteen14]

I'm exactly the same mate, I've diagnosed myself with around 5 different cancers, absolutely 100% convinced i have them my symptoms match perfectly! But each time I have the test done, it comes back all clear and I feel stupid but theres nothing more scary than thinking you have cancer in my eyes, i'm absolutely petrified of it. My latest one is lymphoma, I have a lump on my neck, but unfortunately for this cancer theres no easy test, they have to cut the lymph node out and check it, so its not something they send patients for easily. I've been to see 5-6 different doctors about it in the past year and a half, none of them seem the slightest bit concerned by it, not one of them's mentioned getting it cut out, which is obviously making my anxiety go through the roof for ages because I haven't had the vital test that clears my mind. Then this morning i've found a lump on the inside of my groin, but i'm trying to ignore that and not make myself look stupid at the doctors anymore! Having anxiety's so funn.. not! haha wish i could just let it all go.

Our bodies are literally FULL of little fatty lumps, most people have them in their neck, armpits, groin etc...etc... I know quite a few people have distrust when it comes to medical staff......but at some point you have to STOP! LISTEN! And be reassured between the 6 doctors NONE of them are concerned! :)

[ravenz61]

I had the very same fears as you do now at age 25. I created a fear of any type of cancer. I had soooo many tests.
I am now 52 I still have terrible anxiety but beat the hypochondriasis. Actually it was not by choice you see I was going on a trip to Cancun with my husband and was having horrible anxiety that morning and wanted to sneak off to the ER and keep in mind I'd been to them all . That morning my focus was on breast cancer. Time got away from me and I didn't get to go to the ER. After our plane took off perhaps 45 minutes into the flight I discovered I no longer was worried about my breast I now was focusing on why my ears were in pain. That's when it hit me no matter how many doctors I'd see if I wanted to beat this horrible phobia I had to stay away from the doctor's office and hospitals. I would get tempted to go and I'd repeat these words over and over in my head, "you've done everything you can to find this disease you've seen several doctors , had several test and you've tortured your mind enough time to stop " . I still have anxiety but I only see the doctor once a year. Your young..... try to enjoy your life. I wish you all the best. :)

[Enduronman]

Love your first posts!!!

Welcome RavenZ!....

Enduronman...:)

[Dahila]

Welcome RavenZ I love your first post too:))

[GYDA]

Our bodies are literally FULL of little fatty lumps, most people have them in their neck, armpits, groin etc...etc... I know quite a few people have distrust when it comes to medical staff......but at some point you have to STOP! LISTEN! And be reassured between the 6 doctors NONE of them are concerned! :)

I know, i try tell myself that 5-6 different doctors have looked at the lump on my neck and decided not to take it any further, so why should i be worried?! Unfortunately the internet is my worst enemy, all i see all over the newspapers is cancer, cancer, cancer and now since i'd diagnosed myself with hodgkins lymphoma, all i see all over the news is hodgkins lymphoma been diagnosed. There was a guy in the paper yesterday who was told he had hodgkins lymphoma and that he hasnt got much chance of surviving, then on the morning of his chemo they cancelled and actually said sorry, you havent got cancer after all. crazy!? its just stories like that which don't put your mind at rest. just trying to get myself out this rout like the guy in the opening post but it's very hard, but i like your stat about the 1% thing. I'm only 21 so hopefully i've got a while left and enjoy my 20's

[BlessedMom]

Hey you all, new here, but wanted to make a thread in here to share some of my symptoms in life and explain my current fears, maybe find some comforting.

I have had anxiety and depression since I was a kid, early elementary school years. I have been on anti-depressants, talked to doctors, sometimes things are good, sometimes they are bad, sometimes I have no stress, sometimes I feel like the world is caving in.

I am 25 now and have felt more anxiety growing through the past couple of years. For my entire life I would get horrible stomach aches, seeming to come from stress. This started in middle school, probably earlier, and continue to this day. I get really hot, very uncomfortable, irritable, and typically need to find a bathroom. If I am out of the house and start to feel this way, things happen fast and things get bad. It's usually easily cured though if I can just take my mind off of it, find a movie to watch, play a game, etc. This leads me to think it's some sort of anxiety attack. I also think I have IBS, so when my IBS flares up, it triggers some anxiety, and everything happens. I can sometimes notice a change in how I feel depending on diet, exercise, the anti-depressant I am on, and what's going on in life.

My biggest fear is cancer. I know why cancer is scary, it's scary to anyone, but I don't know why it got put into my head so many years ago as possibly my ultimate fear. The past few years I have had to deal with cancer in other family members, although I handled them well at the time, I feel now, everything has caught up to me.

This past week I swore up and down I had testicular cancer, possibly prostate cancer, and anything else. I had a lump on both testicles, I developed symptoms of prostate cancer including urinary tract issues such as weak stream, issues emptying the bladder, etc. I went to my doctor, she knew how stressed I was and was able to get me into see a urologist hours later. No prostate cancer, no testicular cancer, not even a UTI. Hours later I could pee normally again. Now two days later I think I have colon cancer, stomach cancer, or maybe even gallbladder cancer. Why? I felt a tiny little hard bump on my upper right abdomen. I felt it before a long time ago and thought it came and went, now I am convinced it's cancer. One rough panic attack today, I have a doctors appointment a week from tomorrow just as a general checkup, but I may not wait that long. Now I am convinced all the stomach aches were really signs that I have cancer. They even did a CT scan on my stomach years ago (a little over 10 probably) but did not find cancer, they did mention a thickening on my lower intestinal wall, but nobody has seemed concerned about it since?

I know I am not alone, but I have no clue what to do. I tell my doctors I need anxiety medicine, I have anti-depressants but they just help with my depressed moods. My anxiety is at an all time high, I can't work, I can't stop looking for symptoms, I run to Google, make lists on what I have, massive panic attacks, it's simply horrible. It's not a good way to live and the scary part is I don't know what symptoms are real, made up in my head, or ones to be worried about. Sometimes I'm even worried if I don't act this way then some type of disease may come and I will ignore it. I can sit in bed and just think that my body is being eaten away from the inside and I don't even know.

So pretty much right now, as I type this, I am convinced I have some type of cancer in my stomach. I guess I got my lower half cleared so we're moving on up.

Oh I hear you!!! Currently I have two major illnessed going on (in my head, I think) Its awful. If your doctor isn't listening to you about anxiety maybe finding a new one is an important consideration?