phobia causing panic and anxiety

[Velrose]

ok...I'll try and sum up what's going on right now. My inlaws came over this evening and told me they would be taking my daughter overnight next week. Why is this so major?

My husband works third shift. On one of the nights my daughter will be gone, is one of the nights hubby works. This is significant because I have terrible anxiety based on the phobia of spontaneous combustion. I am afraid if I am left alone for long periods of time, or overnight...this is going to happen to me. I'm scared to death. My husband is trying to be understanding about things, but I don't know how I can do this. I don't know if I can handle being alone that night.

Why do I have to be so petrified of this? I'm so scared.

[joey9]

I know that 1) Whatever you have anxiety about always seems very real to the sufferer at the time, and 2) Getting reassurance about a fear from someone doesn't help resolve anxiety in the long term, BUT, really, I'm pretty sure that human spontaneous combustion doesn't exist. I'm sure it would be in the news if it ever happened and it really isn't. I know everyone will have said this to you and it clearly doesn't help but I just thought if it even offered one crumb of comfort it was worth a post. What about going on a major relaxation offensive in the run up to this? You could see this as an opportunity to launch a mass assualt on your fears. Do all the CBT exercises relating to this that you can, relax your body and work on healing your mind which is raging with chemicals at the moment. See it as a challenge, not a threat. Be excited that you can do this! When I did my maths exams at school when I got really nervous my Mum used to tell me to see the questions as challenging puzzles that I have to use my skills to solve rather than as totally scarey 'exam' questions to fail. It really used to work.

[Velrose]

I know that 1) Whatever you have anxiety about always seems very real to the sufferer at the time, and 2) Getting reassurance about a fear from someone doesn't help resolve anxiety in the long term, BUT, really, I'm pretty sure that human spontaneous combustion doesn't exist. I'm sure it would be in the news if it ever happened and it really isn't. I know everyone will have said this to you and it clearly doesn't help but I just thought if it even offered one crumb of comfort it was worth a post. What about going on a major relaxation offensive in the run up to this? You could see this as an opportunity to launch a mass assualt on your fears. Do all the CBT exercises relating to this that you can, relax your body and work on healing your mind which is raging with chemicals at the moment. See it as a challenge, not a threat. Be excited that you can do this! When I did my maths exams at school when I got really nervous my Mum used to tell me to see the questions as challenging puzzles that I have to use my skills to solve rather than as totally scarey 'exam' questions to fail. It really used to work.

Hey, just having someone to discuss things with helps, and every person I get telling me that SHC doesn't exist (except in the concept of a static electricity flash fire which I DO know happens, but that isn't my fear) helps me. I've been trying really hard to work on my relaxation techniques, but sometimes it is kind of hard to manage. (I have a four year old daughter who is practically attached to my hip 24/7 )

Hehe, look at it like a challenge eh? Can I opt out of this challenge? LOL sorry, it's just...this is such a strange, out of control fear for me, that I would give anything to be afraid of something else. Hell, give me an unreasonable fear... a fear of pickles...or...or...something equally off of the wall. Just NOT this. T_T

[joey9]

But the funny thing is I wish that I have your fear because to me it seems so unreal. If you were scared of pickles they would terrify you too - you would spend the evening on your own too scared to open the cupboard in case there was a pickle there that you hadn't known about...To each person their own fears are the worst thing that they can possibly imagine. I am a strong believer in the fact that anxiety has a biological basis - all it is is basic 'fear', and our brains interpret this fear in our own individual ways, depending on our life experiences. My anxieties are mostly down to work, although if I have nothing at work to worry about it will find other things if it is getting the signals to be afraid of something. Your brain has decided to be afraid of spontaneous combustion - is it because there really is NOTHING you could do about it? It is the ultimate fear - there is no preparation, tests etc. to prepare for this - is the basic fear a fear of being helpless and out of control? Coupled with a fear of being alone? Have you explored where this comes from?

[Velrose]

You really make sense, and I understand entirely about the whole--if I were afraid of something like pickles I would worry about that. Of course I would. For me, this fear was a slow progression, and just like you said, I honestly do think it's my way of "distracting" myself from being lonely at night, and not trusting myself to have control over certain situations.

My progression went like this.

During my teenage years, I showed signs of OCD with odd obsessions--watching the weather channel for hours on end if it was the slightest bit cloudy out. I also had a red backpack that was almost like a security blanket for me. If it was not in plain view, I would go into different degrees of panic. Sometimes it was bad, sometimes it was just a strange sense of something bad was going to happen.

I outgrew both of these--for the most part. In my house, I like knowing exactly where everything is. About once or twice a day, I check to make sure I didn't "accidentily" throw out some sort of important document, like my daughters birth certificate or something like that.

Anyhow... my progression over the last 6 months has gone like this:

My husband started working third shift in October.

This led to the fear that someone was going to break into our apartment in the middle of the night. I barricaded the door with a 20 lb bag of catfood to help keep intruders out. XD I also began to bring my 4 year old into my room and locking the bedroom door to keep people out.

To this day, on nights I am alone, I have to bring her into my room still, otherwise I will be up every hour just to make sure no one came through her bedroom window and took her.

ok...well...being locked in the bedroom at night, I began to wonder--if there was a fire in my apartment building, would I hear if someone tried beating on the front door to tell me?

Well...to remedy this, I connected a baby monitor so I can hear what is going on outside of my room, and I also installed a smoke detector in my bedroom.

I thought...case closed.

At this point, I am no longer afraid of someone breaking in, but I still have a hard time sleeping with the door unlocked. That simple depends on what time I go to bed. If it is earlier than say... 3 am...I have to have the door locked. After 3 am or so I can unlock the door.

I begin thinking though--I have electrical cords running under the headboard of my bed. What if...what if somehow....those catch fire, and catch my bed on fire? What then? What would I do? Well... I moved the wires, case closed.

So then...one night...I fall asleep. And around midnight, I wake up in a dead panic. I can't breath. My heart is pounding, and I am in the middle of a hot flash. (Mind you, I am ONLY 26 years old so it is not menopause XD ) At first, I think..."Omg...I am having a heart attack." and this sends me into a fit of tears to top things off. As I began to pace the hallway, my arms began to warm up from the hot flash, and what WONDERFUL (sarcasm sarcasm drip drip) thought comes to my mind?

"Holy crap...you're going to catch fire."

And so there it is.

The next week was spent drinking gallons of water and spending hours in the bathtub to keep from burning.

There ya have it. That was....back in November. I've been dealing with it since. I'm on zoloft and ativan, and I also see a therapist about once every two weeks or so. She's just recently began working on some relaxation techniques for me, but I am becoming very discouraged with her as she always seems to forget what I am there for.

[joey9]

It's like me - I finish a piece of work and think about something that is wrong and needs sorting. So i sort that out and the relief is immense - no more worry. For like a day - then I think of something else, etc. etc. ad infinitum until I finally think of something that just can not be fixed. Which I then build up to be the worst mistake in the world and totally catastrophic. And that is where my anxiety dwells until the episode is over several weeks down the line. I reach my 'human spontaneous combustion' moment. I'm just not sure this will ever go away. If my brain is so determined to have me sick with worry about something can I really stop it?

[Velrose]

Oh, I know the feeling. Boy do I know it. I've always been a worrier, but it used to be... ya know... normal things. T_T I would worry and worry and worry about money, about job...that sort of thing. At the beginning of the month, I work on our household budget, and usually...by the end of the day, I have worked and reworked it 5 or 6 times because I keep getting scared I "missed" something.

I don't know why some people are predisposed to this mess. It hardly seems fair does it?

[abcdefghix]

I've always been a worrier, but it used to be... ya know... normal things. I would worry and worry and worry about money, about job...that sort of thing. At the beginning of the month, I work on our household budget, and usually...by the end of the day, I have worked and reworked it 5 or 6 times because I keep getting scared I "missed" something.

Sometimes it helps to just let go and stop stop fighting the anxiety. You can't control your feelings, so just accept them. The idea of spontaneous combustion makes you scared and anxious. OK, so what? Everybody has silly things that scare them, you're no exception.

When you're mind tells you that you're going to spontaneously combust or some other ludicrous scenario, don't bother arguing the point. Just tell your mind "Thank you, now can I please get back to what I was doing."

MSN messenger me if you need more help.