Extremely rude to someone in particular

[Lebestiole]

Hello everyone! I'm here to finally ask for opinions! :)

My name is Andrea and I'm 19 years old, I have a cousin, she's 11, and her name is Nana. She is a very wonderful person, she's forgiving and tolerant, she's nice, she's honest, etc. But the thing is that even though I love her, I can't stand her!!! She irritates me so much. It's awful. I don't know why.

But the real problem here is that I'm very mean to her. :( And I can't help it! I'm very passive and I'd never hurt someone, I'm always careful about things I say to people, but this doesn't apply to her. I know it hurts her, and my mom doesn't even want to talk to me cause she said she's ashamed of me. I really want to stop!!! I don't enjoy being mean or rude to her. I feel so guilty afterwards. I swear I don't know how to stop. Please, can someone tell me what to do? Or why is this happening?

Thank you so much!!!

[stp4779]

Do you think you're irritated at her because she displays some personality traits you wish you had?

[Kyle Morgan]

I see what you mean, you love that person but sometimes you can't bear to be in the same room as them haha :) I have that kind of relationship with my father, I'm really soft and passive towards other people and don't get offended with what they say. If my father on the other hand says something I completely disagree with or questions something I do, I get irritated and I sometimes get into conflict with him. I don't think we mean what we do, perhaps because she is a nice person like you said she is, then maybe your way of lashing out at her is because you both show similar personalities. Maybe if she had a meaner type of personality you wouldn't think of getting irritated by her because she's the opposite of you. Maybe when you feel like lashing out at her perhaps go for a walk, or leave the room. I see you're new on the forum, hope everything's well!! Sorry if my advice weren't the best. Take care