Identity

[Anxious Abi]

Today my CBTherapist and I identified some core beliefs that are unhelpful to my recovery.
If I cannot control my thoughts then I cannot control anything.
& I am what others think of me.
It got me to thinking about identity, and how we really know who we are.
I mean, how I see myself is very different to how others see me, everybody see's me differently. My Mum see's her troubled yet kind hearted middle child, my Dad sees a useless disappointment. When I look in the mirror I see a failure.
How do we know, which of these things we are? I imagine if I just ignored the negative view of myself I would surely become narrow minded and ignorant.
Am I a bit of what everyone thinks, or only what I think? Maybe I am what a smart person like my therapist see's in me.
How do I build a healthy view of myself, see myself in a more balanced way?
Abi

[Ponder]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvsfn8LL92Q

Takes a little reading to perhaps understand the concepts of Identity and the benefits of DIS-identification. I recommend the his book "The Power of Now"

If you want help to controlling your thoughts and or at least understanding the process of the mind and how it seeks to take control, then I highly recommend the above book.
It breaks down self identification in a very easy to understand way. None the less that link above might be a little too much to take in without knowing much about this guy or his books. Still the same, I thought I should share. I mean if Oprah likes him, he must be good! :) (by the way - Oprah makes me sick. The Irony of it all -)

Good luck with your therapy.
Dave.

[Anxious Abi]

Identity is a really complex area. (Lots of opinions)

There is however a grand theory in social science that we perform a variety of identities.

Depending on the situation we are in and who we are around we adopt various behaviours (for example if you feel your dad sees a disappointment you will take on that role. If a friend sees you as supportive and reliable you adopt that role (am I making sense here)?

In a nutshell you have all those identities that you have described above.

The really cool thing is you have the choice which you choose and when (I would aim for the therapists view - independent view if you like). If you start believing in it, and make it your most frequent role, everyone else around you will eventually change their view also.

Hope that doesn't sound like a lot of rubbish (it's a huge subject to condense into a few lines) :)

Thank you James, it does make a lot of sense.
My sores are healing well, no sign of infection anymore, thank you very much for asking :)

[Anxious Abi]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvsfn8LL92Q

Takes a little reading to perhaps understand the concepts of Identity and the benefits of DIS-identification. I recommend the his book "The Power of Now"

If you want help to controlling your thoughts and or at least understanding the process of the mind and how it seeks to take control, then I highly recommend the above book.
It breaks down self identification in a very easy to understand way. None the less that link above might be a little too much to take in without knowing much about this guy or his books. Still the same, I thought I should share. I mean if Oprah likes him, he must be good! :) (by the way - Oprah makes me sick. The Irony of it all -)

Good luck with your therapy.
Dave.

Thank you Dave, will definitely have a look at the book recommend.
Appreciate your input.