Not again..

[Scdg17]

I'm totally blindsided by my emotions. I was fine all day. Actually feeling better than most days. And then out of nowhere, something my mom said at dinner triggered my PTSD and I became a wreck. It's so frustrating.
I thought I was finally healing. Now I feel like I haven't made much progress in my treatment at all if all it takes is one word from my mom to send me straight back to my emotional hell. What's worse is I can't bring myself to explain to her why I have to bail and hide in my room to cry. It's embarrassing. I don't want her to think its her fault.
I'm so used to everyone feeling like they have to treat me with kid gloves for the past 3 months. But it doesn't help. Just reminds me how fragile I am. Ugh, today was so good.
Now I'm in for another sleepless night of sobbing and reliving the pain. When will this begin to get easier?! I'm doing all I can!

[NeverToo...Fear]

Emotional blindsides.. I got them a lot after my Grandmother passed away.. I thought I was fine and then I would see her favorite show come on or something else that reminded me of her and then I'd be balling and crying my eyes out. I thought I couldn't explain myself either, but when I did, I felt better. Just having someone to explain the situation to helped me because at first I didn't understand the emotions and triggers. Talking about helped me figure it out.

The other day I saw her wheelchair and I got slammed with emotions. So it still happens, but today, I deal with it much better than I used to. I guess time also played a factor, but talking about them and trying to figure out why they happened definitely helped me.

It will get easier, Scdg17.. Talk whenever you need to ..... :)