Relationships offset my anxiety attacks

[peach_flow]

Please feel free to ask any additional questions. I am not shy, I'll answer pretty much anything. I just want help. I just want to know if it's possible in any way possible to overcome my anxiety. Meds are the last resort for me. I take Ativan (Lorazapam) occasionally, but that's only when I feel there's no way out. I'd go on meds full time only if the alternative is the worst.

Anyway, here is my problem:

am very scared it is going to destroy me. Every since my boyfriend left for a trip (only four days ago), I could barely find any peace. I am going on and off, suffering through these insane bouts of anxieties. I cry, I am pissed off, I cannot calm down. It is killing me, and I know it's going to destroy our relationship sooner or later.

I am starting to lose self control. I am slowly starting to do this with him on the phone. LIke he made a joke about his friend's sister being hot, and I almost wanted to die. I told him to shut up in a very serious voice and then changed the theme.

I am seriously worried. I hate being single, and I'm afraid I will never be able to have a normal relationship. This is not the first time this happening. I truly love my boyfriend and really don't want to let go of him because he's amazing. Please, please help me. I realize my problem and that I am being irrational, and recognize there is no easy solution, but please help me.

I'm 21.

And no, I know he's not leaving me. That's the worst thing, the fact that in my head I know and I am aware of things. It's like my mind is thinking rationally, but my emotions are all over the place and I cannot help it.

[random]

sounds like separation anxiety to me, even though logic tells you that everything will be fine your emotions win and you're uncomfortable with being independent.

practice doing things on your own. this should happen both when your boyfriend's available and when he's not. rather than hanging out with him/talking on the phone all the time, make it a point to do something independent first. then, use being able to see him as a reward. hopefully it will let you retrain your view of a relationship as a bonus, rather than something you need in order to function.

[kkarnes]

Peach, I had a similar experience with my boyfriend a couple years ago. For me I thought he was going to do something like cheat on me, because for me it was the worst thing someone could do. And I would obsess and obsess over it. I would read into every little thing and drive us both crazy.

With the help of a councilor, I was able to determine that I had anxiety brought on by allowing myself to be vulnerable. (My dad past away when I was 16, and that screwed me up a bit). My boyfriend is fantastic and has never cheated on me. And I know that he loves me. I had to work really hard and use the things my councilor taught me to do to change the way I thought about our relationship.

From what I understand, dealing with anxiety is all about changing the way you think, which is pretty difficult to do. How do you start thinking positive reinforcements when your are in the throes of negative ones? I defintely sympathize with you. Hang in there and good luck.