Any suggestions on how to deal with loneliness?

[I am not my brain]

I've been dealing with GAD for going on 4 years now.

I pretty much have no friends. I'm not going to call myself a loser because of this because 1.) I had a lot of friends growing up 2.) because I had a rough childhood which did a lot of emotional damage. Another reason why is because I'm "introverted". Enough with the excuses though.

But, since I have had anxiety I lost the majority of friends that I had, as well as it's hard for me to make new ones because I am socailly awkward (I guess because of my anxiety), and people seem to be thrown off by that.

Usually on the weekends I am alone. I get no phone calls or texts lol. Since I've graduated college things have been worse due to the fact I am unemployed, and have seven days a week to sit at my house isolated from society (which is eroding whatever social skills that I have left).

The loneliness gets pretty painful at times, and the intense pain makes me think about death a lot ( I know it's morbid :) )

I think, in my 27 years of existence, I've come to the conclusion that friendships are the most important thing we have on this earth, even more important than money. Without them, life seems pretty meaningless. I used to consume my time with reading, and tell myself I didn't need friends, but I was just rationalizing to feel better about being alone. Before deleting my facebook I would envy the people posting pictures of their times on the weekends, and updates about their relationships.

So, what should one do to cope with the horrible feeling of loneliness?

[trinidiva]

As hard as it is to do, you HAVE to step outside of your comfort zone and meet people.

What are your interests? Look for classes or events offered through your county or city. Alot of those types of classes are either low cost or free. When you find something, try to make small talk with people. Its hard but I have been in the same position in the past. Now, I've made some friends and things are a little easier.

[I am not my brain]

As hard as it is to do, you HAVE to step outside of your comfort zone and meet people.

What are your interests? Look for classes or events offered through your county or city. Alot of those types of classes are either low cost or free. When you find something, try to make small talk with people. Its hard but I have been in the same position in the past. Now, I've made some friends and things are a little easier.

I agree. Once I started to recognize these problems I have been making an effort to fix them. Over the last year I have been making a conscious effort to be more talkative. When I talk to people I usually jumble my words up, and talk real quick (<-----awkwardness), so once the interaction fails I am very critical of myself. This in return just does more damage to whatever self-esteem that I have left.

My interests are philosophy and science.

But, I don't know, I'm a boring guy. My personality is not very entertaining, so......

If I ever find employment, and start getting my life together, maybe I can get involved with a groups that have similar interests, as well as start going back to the gym. Being unemployed is the worst. I have no freedom without money, which makes things that much harder.

The struggle of a mentally ill person living in poverty lol, sigh......

Thanks for the suggestions

[hippysilverware]

What's funny is that, I was asking myself the same question today. I've /never/ had a lot of friends, not growing up, not now; but even now the friends that I did have seem very... unresponsive. Yesterday I decided to stop pursuing them at all and take some time out, the problem is that it doesn't help with the whole not feeling lonely issue.Going out and meeting people is a whole lot easier said than done... at least on my behalf.

I guess the only advice I have for you is distractions. It /is/ very hard when you're not working, with nothing to do there's too much time to think, and thinking never seems to help when you're lonely. Everyone here says exercise, and it's actually not a bad idea. It does make you feel better, and quells the feeling for a little while. I don't work out, but the shelter I go to is a couple miles away. Having something to do on top of the walk always leaves me feeling in higher spirits.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

[AmberGbenga]

When I was growing up I was a fat shy girl.. I didn't do well in school, didn't have many friends.. The only friend I had.. Turned out to be a bad friend.. But I was desperate for it. As I grew older I got a boyfriend.. And became comfortable.. And more fat.. I was depressed and I quit dancing.. My only love besides my family. Graduating year I had my trauma... I hit rock bottom.. I started smoking pot, and within a year I went from 95kg to 45kg.. And ofcource the guys lined up to fuck me.. I was fragile and trying to earn my power back.. I slept with a lot of guys.. I was going out basically every day drinking smoking smokes, smoking pot and not eating.. I was unhealthy.. Had many trips to the hosp with seizures or vomiting blood and passing out.. This all happened while I was fucked out of my mind.. I got in a serious relationship which changed everything.. I became better, but I out on a lot of weight.. When we broke up 2 years later I was at 65-70kg.. Since then I've pulled my life together.. Gym, work, friends and a boyfriend... But since I began having chronic anxiety.. I wen back down again.. Although I only let myself down for a week then that was it.. I took it by the handles and rode that mother.. I FORCED myself to getnoutnof the house, I work, I go to social events, I drive, I hang with friends, I go to gym, yoga, dance class, pole dancing, I go to the shops.. I do everything I need. I've Lost a lot of friends, but anxiety has tought me who my true friends are.. Also getting out and doing things introduces me to people every day. Possible friendships.. And because I've changed from that shy fat girl to the fucking crazy outgoing friendly and happy chick.. Everyone wants to know me.. Not an understatement. Every time it go out people want my details like Facebook and shit they WANT to be my friend!

Now, I've found myself.. Who I REALLY am.. I embrace it. I really don't believe that people's 'true' self and shy.. It's just their anxiety, fears and self contiousness holding their true selfs back. People envy me, they tell me a lot actually that they want to be like me, they wish they wernt so shy and I answer with I used to be you. Now I don't care what people think.. I am me, crazy, or not.. Anxiety is just a bump in the road.

Take time to love yourself, know yourself, and believe in yourself. Once you know who you are and you embrace it.. You will attract the same minded people.. True companions in life.
Go out places, PUSH YOURSELF, you not going to get anywhere by sitting down and feeling sorry for yourself.