No subject, no nothing.

[Isabelleva]

Feeling numbed out from everything, questioning everything.

I don't even know to be honest. I keep stopping and wondering where the hell I am and how I got to this point in life. It's not where I want to be, nor what I had pictured. Although I hadn't really ever imagined getting anywhere either. I just feel like I'm still stuck in parts of my past and not moving anywhere forward. I'm picking wholes in everything and feeling dissatisfied. I know I don't lead a bad and awful life, but I still can't help but feel disappointed with myself.

I keep getting the urge to just up and disappear and see where I end up. Start a life somewhere else, as someone else. I don't know where I want to go, who I want to be or what I want to do. Just not stay where I am.

Is it awful that I want to do that? To leave everything and everybody in my life? I just feel so detached from it all.

I can't get out of this black hole, feel like I'm slowly getting sucked in.

Hate this dark days :( makes the ones in the light seem forever away, shrouded by impossibility.

[Nikkers]

Hi there Isabellva, I'm new here also I have to say the support is so wonderful, stick around :)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like you want to just pack up and leave everything and everyone. I have felt like that more times than I can remember and I end up convincing myself that if I was to just move away and leave everything behind then all will be ok. Sadly it doesn't seen to work like that, wouldn't it be great if it did. I think plenty of people can relate to what you are saying. I'm not where I thought I would be in life, I'm so upset that this is how my life has turned out and I ruminate on it constantly. Sometimes I am so shocked at where I am in my life that I think it isn't real and that I will wake up and say, ohh thank god that was just a horrible dream.

The dark days are the worst and they do make the light ones seem an impossibility, you're so right. When I do have a good day I try to keep hold of that as tight as I can. I say to myself "The next time I have a dark one, I must remember that I also had a light one" It's easy to say though and another thing to put into practice. Just takes a bit of work I think. Please know that I do understand how you feel and the thoughts you are having in no way make you an awful person. Take Care :)