I would get bullied for being ugly, what should I do

[Kyle Morgan]

I'm 18 and I have really low self confidence, please read my last thread called "I feel suicidal" I had people call me names for years which makes me think that everybody is better than me. What can I do

[Kyle Morgan]

I will show a picture of myself now. I do think I'm hideous though

[Kyle Morgan]

For some reason links do not work

[Kyle Morgan]

Does links work for anybody else

[Kyle Morgan]

I'll try and get a link from my facebook and see if that will work

[Kyle Morgan]

It's worked here's a picture of me, Yes I'm ugly but what can I do about it, I'm really negative about myself because of what other people used to say to me

[Kyle Morgan]

Sorry forgot the link here it is, https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1393528874237289&set=pb.100007405692655.-2207520000.1389919001.&type=3&theater

[NixonRulz]

Are you kidding me?

That what you are bitching about?

Chicks love long hair and you are an outdoor guy like Daniel Boone

you couldnt look any more "normal" to me

The dudes that made fun of you because of their insecurities

You could of taken anyone of their cheerleader girlfriends....if you had the confidence

So now you know what you need to work on

Begin the process of accepting and embracing yourself for who you are

Then, when you have a bunch of girlfriends all running their fingers through your hair, send us a picture of what we wish our lives were!

The only thing you have his low self esteem

You got the rest if you are ready to use it

[jessed03]

Not how I imagined you to look :)

I'll be honest here:

You lack something Kyle. I'm not even talking facially. I see nothing wrong with your bone structure, or your features.

You just seem to lack a strength in your shoulders, they seem very weak and flimsy.

You seem to lack excitement in your eyes. They seem very dim and afraid.

You seem to lack life in your face. Your expression feels defeated to me.

You seem to lack confidence of expression and inspiration, just by looking at your style

I think that's partly the reason for the bullying. That lack of umph that's there, that can be felt in your pics. The ugliest guy at my secondary school was never bullied as far as I can remember. He had a bit of arrogance about him.

All these things I mentioned above, affect your appearance big time. They also make it really hard to appear attractive to girls. And I mean really hard.

Remember the whole alpha male things girls kinda go for? Well I don't mean alpha males as in muscular bald headed guys. I just mean simply - guys who are healthy, guys who are happy, guys who have opportunities to do cool things, guys who enjoy life.

You don't look happy - you don't look particularly healthy - you don't look like cool stuff happens in your life, you look broken.

People can sense your weakness, your lack of health and opportunity, your lack of confidence... And being the sick species we are, prey on that... They prey on it unfairly. The world preys on the weak.

But this isn't your fault. I think the depression is doing this to you. That's what depression does... It robs people of themselves. It robs them of their hope, their confidence, their joy, their passion. It turns them into shells.

You have ways to go upwards. You have things still left to gain back.

I know you're working on this depression, and this mental stuff. I know you're working on expressing yourself, and finding a deeper level of Kyle under the surface of all the bullshit. Your posts show that. You're exploring, you're reaching out - that's really good to see, it means you've got fight!

There is a soul ready to be found again, once this depression starts to lift. There's light to be relit in your eyes, and passion to colour your face.

Depression makes a man uglier than genetics. I've been there, sometimes I still go there.

Reach the highest level of you. The highest level of you. Reach your best, your absolute max - then judge yourself, and allow yourself to be judged.

Right now, don't even worry about it. Nobody knows a persons potential, or what the future holds for them, the changes life will bring, so put it aside, for now.

Focus on becoming the highest level of Kyle you can be. The best Kyle you can be.

And firstly that means getting on top of the depression. You can't go anywhere in life at all until you've done that.

And to do that you've got to show yourself some love.

Because that's what it takes to get better. Loving yourself when you don't like yourself.

And that's really hard.

[GeneAllen]

Kyle,

You're not close to ugly. This is not about looks though. You know it's about wanting approval from others and "wanting" it is great, then give it. However "needing" it, or insisting others like you is well a delusional thought. Read my quote from Byron Katie on the bottom, this woman was agoraphobic, drunk, and did not feel worth to sleep on the bed so she slept on the floor next to her bed. When we believe lies, we suffer. You're believing a lie, and you're doing it nobody else buddy. Now stick around, when you become aware you're doing this you'll see the power you really do have to change those lies, nobody else can do it for you, but we will ALL support your efforts here. Your move, what do you prefer your life to look like from here on out? Lets do that. Peace bro Please trust what I say, I have been where you are right now and I left that! You will too.

[stocktona]

I would not be worried about if people thought you were ugly or not. Those people are just insecure assholes with nothing better to do lacking something in themselves. I love the long hair!! I think you'll be just fine. :)

[Th13thOne]

I've read everyone's replies here, Kyle and there really is nothing more that I could add. Brilliant and awesome people on this forum, that have helped me more than anything.

Love yourself, bro. Bullies are just cowards, remember that. They're the one with the problem/problems.

[Lord Jazzinho]

I find that in these sorts of situations its more about the bullys than the bullied, if you get a name for yourself as a soft target then you can end up being the receptacle for every dump their rubbish in. I have some experience in this matter and when it was happening to me I didn't take what they said to heart, they said I was fat and I was but other than that I just thought that they were all assholes. Since and during that time I learn not to measure my worth by other what other people say or think, come to think of it I don't know what I do measure it by, I don't generally feel the need to. My mothers always said that its not what people say its what they do that counts whack is right but in my experience you have to watch the words to see if they measure up with the actions

[Dahila]

You look like my ex husband when he was young, believe me I would not date ugly men., jeez I love long hair.... Man you are everything but ugly. You do not know your potential yet. I guess you will believe me, after some time chatting together. Acutally I got in trouble in work because of that hehehe.
You are very handsome young man, people call you names because they always try to put others down . Think about it...maybe they envy you something, they wish they had?

[Ponder]

If that's all chicks see, then who needs em. Thankfully not all decent women look at the world through such eyes. Alpha Male - no thanks - that's pure BS - maybe on some kind of spray - not many guys are into soft creams and wrinkle free faces with BS written across their teeth. They try, but it's a false sense of confidence.

Just be yourself dude ... be honest and never adopt that alpha male BS! It's fake and is don't't last! Just be true to yourself.

[NixonRulz]

If that's all chicks see, then who needs em. Thankfully not all decent women look at the world through such eyes. Alpha Male - no thanks - that's pure BS - maybe on some kind of spray - not many guys are into soft creams and wrinkle free faces with BS written across their teeth. They try, but it's a false sense of confidence. Just be yourself dude ... be honest and never adopt that alpha male BS! It's fake and is don't't last! Just be true to yourself.

I think you misunderstood Jesse' s post

By "alpha male". He wasn't referring to big, bulky, fake guys that use facial creams, he was referring to the guys that are healthy, happy and like to live life

By that definition, I would completely agree.

If you look defeated, weak and lack that fire in your eyes, people may pick at you and girls look elsewhere unless they want to mother someone.

I know from talking with Jesse over the last year that he went through very similar feelings about himself

Once he ridded himself of the depression and negative thoughts about himself, he had confidence

Once he had confidence, he scored with the ladies.....good looking ladies

I think Kyle is going through the same thing.

Absolutely nothing wrong with his physical appearance, just the perception of his appearance, which makes you carry yourself as someone not an equal to the rest

Heal the depression, win the babes, kick the bullies ass!

[GeneAllen]

Well said Frankie. Inspiring realistic, and sensible. ;) Peace sis

[jessed03]

Well said Frankie. Inspiring realistic, and sensible. ;) Peace sis

Never play pool for money with Frankie.

She told me she couldn't write so well, but all I see are her posts nailing it again and again ;)

I hope you're not a secret hustler Frankie!

[NixonRulz]

She's either playing the underdog card or has made huge gains in the last weeks

I guess the latter

[GeneAllen]

Prince Albert? Oh never mind. LOL

Frankie's singing ""Everyday I'm Hustlin hustlin......

Nora Jones is soothing for sure.

Peace

[Ponder]

Nixon ... you misunderstand me. I heard Jesse the first time. TY.
I was referring to the perception to which you have explained yet again.

Pumping one self up to great the day is set for disappointment. Arrogance in Ego is the other side of the coin. Goes both ways.

No, right or wrong . That's how I see it. People target people because of their own misgivings, not another's. So quick we are to prescribe for another.

Thanks for your concern all the same Nixon. Clearly a case of different perceptions. I'm fine with how I see .... Again TY.

[Ponder]

Well actually I am not, but who am I to target another because of that? :-)

[NixonRulz]

Nixon ... you misunderstand me. I heard Jesse the first time. TY. I was referring to the perception to which you have explained yet again. Pumping one self up to great the day is set for disappointment. Arrogance in Ego is the other side of the coin. Goes both ways. No, right or wrong . That's how I see it. People target people because of their own misgivings, not another's. So quick we are to prescribe for another. Thanks for your concern all the same Nixon. Clearly a case of different perceptions. I'm fine with how I see .... Again TY.

I don't get it.

[jessed03]

Life's more a less a game everyone's playing. Society is like a game too. There are certain standards, certain tactics, certain game plans and etiquettes that you have to use if you want to play along and be successful at this game, and win the prizes it offers such as success, power, love or romance, security, entertainment, companionship, experience, opportunity, choice etc.

Now - you don't have to play this game. Many turn their backs on it, and become rather recluse, or rather quiet, and they find life is quite comfortable... But by doing so, you give up all of the above things, and you wait to try and get lucky by finding some things that have fallen down through the system, and not been grabbed by someone 'better'. Sometimes you stumble upon a little money, sometimes but not always you meet a girl, sometimes you find a job you kind of like. But there are no guarantees here, a lot get nothing, or something they aren't satisfied with.

It's your choice whether or not you wanna play the game of society Kyle, cos you don't have to my friend.

It depends entirely on what you want, and what excites you.

But those are the only two choices you have; to play along and put up with the craziness, or to not play and miss out on some stuff that's cool.

If you look around, at Facebook, the tv, shopping centres, schools and colleges, social clubs, work, banks etc... You'll see that most people are playing along. But you can find people who aren't when you look.

If you're gonna play the game and you want those things, there's a hunger for those things, then you have to be good at it, and being good at it is more or less judged upon the standard of the 'alpha' - the healthy, happy person with choice and opportunity.

If you don't wanna play the game, get to know loneliness, but not in the bad way. Work on removing ego and desire. Work on your passions like playing guitar, get comfortable with a big distance between you and society, get set for embracing living challenges, and watching others have what you may want (because that will happen). But also get set on enjoying the peace and quiet of not being too influenced or affected by some of the insanity that goes on in society.

That's more or less the only choice you have. You can only do one of the other.

You're never offered the third choice - to play the game, but to change the rules of it. Nobody is offered that.

[Dahila]

Nixon ... you misunderstand me. I heard Jesse the first time. TY.
I was referring to the perception to which you have explained yet again.

Pumping one self up to great the day is set for disappointment. Arrogance in Ego is the other side of the coin. Goes both ways.

No, right or wrong . That's how I see it. People target people because of their own misgivings, not another's. So quick we are to prescribe for another.

Thanks for your concern all the same Nixon. Clearly a case of different perceptions. I'm fine with how I see .... Again TY.
What is in this post , you can not understand Nixon?
I have no problem to get it, and English is my second language, as you may notice:)

[Dahila]

right now ;)))

[Ponder]

It's not too far back Dahila. Just my angry post about not playing this game Jesse is talking about. Nixon means well to be sure.

I am not well and due to not having my computer or " comftable,position" am struggling hard. That is OK though, as I regard this game of which Jesse speaks (hello Jesse) Rather more as the worlds sickness. Bigger, Better, Easier and More. So selfish and consumed we have become. Letting G0 is definitely the way for me to go. I f anything, that is the only way, I will be to overcome my huge amount of suffering, right now, lest I make more, where there need be none to had.

The alpha concept suits our animal nature well, however is taken too far with humans today. Everyone wants to be on top. Not long now though ... planet is just about fucked.

[Ponder]

Hi Dahila, I see you on, I have big day looking after wife. High needs now. When I set up house, I talk better then. Have a good day. Forgive my frustrations.

[Kyle Morgan]

I just think I'm a failure because I have been called ugly since I was very young and I still get it today. I would get picked on by some bullies because I had quite a large head, it just made me become really anxious then years later. To this day whenever I go out I find it hard to make eye contact with people because I think they are all better than me and I think I might get bullied from them.

[Kyle Morgan]

My Dad has recently got a new Job, and as soon as he's getting good money, he's going to take me to the best Counciller. Both of my parents have split up too, it happened a few months ago, and they are both having money problems, so it's quite tough. Thank you for your support Frankiecfc, and Hope all is well with you.

[Kyle Morgan]

Kyle you are in college right now aren't you?

Yeah But I've haven't been since before Christmas because it's gotten a lot more worse. The thing is the college is about a hour and half away, and before Christmas I was getting lifts off this girl who is my next door neighbour, she said she can't give me lifts any more because she picks up other people instead. My mother doesn't drive, my father lives away and his car hasn't worked in ages. So I've been a bit stuck

[Kyle Morgan]

Yeah But I've haven't been since before Christmas because it's gotten a lot more worse. The thing is the college is about a hour and half away, and before Christmas I was getting lifts off this girl who is my next door neighbour, she said she can't give me lifts any more because she picks up other people instead. My mother doesn't drive, my father lives away and his car hasn't worked in ages. So I've been a bit stuck

I mean my Anxiety and Depression has gotten a lot worse

[NixonRulz]

Hey Kyle

Just be done with this

Decide right now you are done

No indecisiveness . Just make a decision that you are no longer going to feel bad

C'mon man. Start living the dream

No excuses

Do it now.

[Dahila]

Hey Kyle

Just be done with this

Decide right now you are done

No indecisiveness . Just make a decision that you are no longer going to feel bad

C'mon man. Start living the dream

No excuses

Do it now.

that' the right answer :)) Nixon you rulz:)

[Kyle Morgan]

When you return to college Kyle you could maybe avail of their counselling service? Just a thought.....

Yeah I did try it out my first month of College, this was before I was getting my panic attacks, and around the time my parents had just split up

[Kyle Morgan]

Sorry for the late reply. Yeah I'm gonna give it another shot when I get back