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View Full Version : Having a BAD day, needing to vent, husband doesn't understand



mistiblue
01-14-2014, 04:56 PM
Just a warning, this will probably be long.

Today, I was on the phone paying a ticket that I received about 2 weeks ago. My court date is tomorrow and I hadn't paid it yet, so I wanted to get it paid while I was thinking about it (my husband was having a serious convo with our daughter at the time). He walked in while I was paying the ticket. When I got off the phone, he was very upset because I didn't ask him before I paid it. He handles our finances. Usually, I don't do things like that and ask him first, but he was talking with our daughter and I knew if I didn't get it paid at that moment I WOULD forget (that's just the way my brain works). I knew there was money in the account and tomorrow is payday.
Anyway, we ended up getting into a heated argument about money. He accused me being the main reason why our finances were in shambles. He was referring to my chiropractor payments and dental bills. The chiro payment is $50 a month and the dental is on a credit card, which is $40 a month. He went on to say it is because of my anxiety and I need to just stop. I am a stay at home mom and do not have a job. We have 4 children that I homeschool and on top of that I have to try and homeschool them while I am dealing with physical symptoms of anxiety.....and mental.
I literally feel like I am going to lose my mind. I feel like I am hanging on by a thread. I find it hard to deal with my children...I get so irritable with them and I just can't help it. This only makes my anxiety soar.
I am also in the process of weaning off of Klonopin.....I just feel like screaming right now. I want to run away, but I have no where to go. My children are my world, but I really feel like I am failing them in so many ways. I just want to be a normal person.
At the moment, I am having issues with urinating ALL the time and always feeling like I have to. I am awaiting tests to find out what is wrong with me. I initially thought it was anxiety, but it is not going away, so I am worrying about that as well.
I cannot express all of these things to my husband because he just doesn't understand....he is very selfish and thinks he is right about everything all the time. I am having a hard time dealing with him lately. I love him with all of my heart, but I just don't know how to cope.

mistiblue
01-14-2014, 05:29 PM
Sorry, I know there is a lot of useless info in my post, but thought it was needed to get the point across....:)

trinidiva
01-14-2014, 05:29 PM
Im so sorry. Ive been exactly where you are. My husband, at times, is not supportive....and makes my anxiety so much worse. I have my kids...one who I homeschool and one who has learning issues and add...so it takes longer and way more patience to work through schoolwork. I work from home but my husband basically looks at it as im not working since I do it from home. So I have to handle homework, homeschooling, my job, cooking and cleaning pretty much on my own. You know what I started doing? I just stopped putting so much pressure on myself. I dont know about you, but im very type A personality. I took some time for myself....even if it was taking a book, sitting in my living room and reading for a bit. I am planning on starting a yoga class through our parks and recreation dept here in my community. Im finding cheap little activities to keep my kids happy and busy.
In doing all of these things, there's a common denominator. ....I'm distracted. If im distracted, I dont think about my anxiety or my other aches and pains.
I definitely, definitely sympathize with you with the lack of support from your spouses. ..but in my case....I kind of got upset over some things he said to me a while back and I decided that I can't wait on his support to get better...cause I might be waiting forever. Pick yourself up and make a plan of what you are going to do to get better, anxiety wise!!!!! Good luck to you....you can do it!!!

jessed03
01-14-2014, 05:32 PM
Ugh. Doesn't sound fun, Facebook friend.

I always kind felt pretty grateful I never had children when my disorder was bad. I just.. wouldn't have coped. I would have flipped and gone mad. You mothers with anxiety deserve medals seriously. That is some hard work, balancing it. You do great, even though you can't always be perfect.

I don't have a husband, so I can't give you any advice like trini has done. I know she has posted similar stuff a couple of times so seems wise on that issue.

I hope you can find some breathing room from everything stressing you Misti.

Just wanted to listen and message my support!!!!

trinidiva
01-14-2014, 05:33 PM
Do you make alot of schedules? I find when i have things scheduled and planned , im less anxious.

NixonRulz
01-14-2014, 05:37 PM
Running a house with 4 kids and homeschooling them on top of everything is probably the hardest JOB I can think of

Your husband hadn't walked in your shoes for a day, I imagine

I agree with Trin though, you need some down time for you to unwind

I can't imagine how stressful a day in your life is

I can promise you I won't bitch about having to go to work tomorrow

NeverToo...Fear
01-14-2014, 05:47 PM
I just think it's amazing when one chooses to home school Mad respect for you lovely ladies Misti and Trini for taking on homeschooling! As a home-schooled child myself, I know how much time and effort my Mom, my parents put in for me.. So I had to say that! It's no easy task! And you should totally be recognized for that.. :)

But anyway, Misti, sorry about all what your dealing with.. yes, anxiety can really put strains on the family and financial issues.. but it's not really your fault. You are trying to get better and you will. Yes, ofc husband thinks he is right, lol.. and not to mean him any harm, cause I know you love him, but if he had panic attacks and anxiety, maybe he'd be more understanding.. oh well.. I hope you will find some much needed downtime and relaxation.. :)

mistiblue
01-14-2014, 08:22 PM
Thanks everyone.
Trin- your so right! I do need to take control and I am working on that. I just get so grouchy!! That's the most horrible feeling. I'm so afraid my kids are gonna hate me.

I appreciate all the kind words about homeschooling and being a mom :) We don't hear that much, at least I don't. It's hard sometimes, but totally worth it.
You guys are great!

trinidiva
01-15-2014, 06:59 AM
Thanks everyone.
Trin- your so right! I do need to take control and I am working on that. I just get so grouchy!! That's the most horrible feeling. I'm so afraid my kids are gonna hate me.

I appreciate all the kind words about homeschooling and being a mom :) We don't hear that much, at least I don't. It's hard sometimes, but totally worth it.
You guys are great!

I have my grouchy days ( weeks) too. Your kids won't hate you......they actually understand more then we give them credit for.
Yeah I agree with you....its definitely not easy but when I see my kids healthy and happy.....it makes me feel good.