My relationship, my anxiety

[flowergirl2310]

I have a boyfriend for 2 years. We are in love. My parents think that he is not good for me since he comes from a family that doesn't care about hj .
They believe if he didn't get her can't change.
This is putting my anxiety disorder in a very high level.
Do you think he can't change?
I can't deal with that pressure!
I can't focus in anything else in my life

[AmberGbenga]

Sorry love, what is HJ?

[flowergirl2310]

I'm

Sorry I my iPhone corrected him to hj . I meant him

[AmberGbenga]

What does he need to change

[flowergirl2310]

Since he never got any love or help from his family, my parents belive he can't do it for me.
His siblings are cold and selfish. Horrible people.
He seems different and I see different but can you change after being raised by a monster?
That has a child at the age if 40 because she was bored that her other children left home.
Than the father died of cancer when he was 21 found out 3 years earlier but Never stopped.
Now the mom has cancer and it never occurred her to stop smoking or to save any money to leave for him.
Can a person raised by two monsters be a good parent, husband?

[MiST]

Can a person raised by two monsters be a good parent, husband?

Of course...

[flowergirl2310]

I can't focus in university or my business. I haven't been sleeping.
I lost 5 kilos.
I am underweight even before loosing the 5 kilos.
I don't take medication but I think I should. Since its taking over my life

[flowergirl2310]

Of course...

Are you sure?

[MiST]

Are you sure?

Trust me....

[flowergirl2310]

Trust me....

Did you read the whole story ?

[Chatative]

Are you sure?

I'm not saying it is the case.

But, each person is an individual. Of course their parent's & upbringing will have a bearing on who they eventually become but it can work both ways.

Many people see the flaws in their own upbringing & would never want to make the same mistakes in their life.

In the end of the day though, we cannot tell you whether your boyfriend has really "changed" or not. As someone else says, does he need to change or is just that other people think he needs to? If you have been with him 2 years, you should have a good judge of his character by now...

[AmberGbenga]

Sweety, people don't generally change their traits. Like cheating and wife bashing for example, not saying they CAN'T or HAVNT changed, but it's rare. I was raised without a father and the contact I had with him, wasn't nice. I have issues, but that Dosent make me a bad person.. I've learnt from HIS mistakes. Many people I know havnt had a good up bringing, but that Dosent make them the same as their parents. Ofcource, traits get passed down, ofcource we rely on our parents or guardians to guide is until we are old enough to become our own person. It's possible he isn't like his parents, and it's also possible he is. People can change, with the right path and motivation.

[MiST]

This thread just smacks of FAiL

Jeez, give the guy a break..everyone is an individual.

If i was anything like my father, believe me i would have killed myself a long time ago.

If he's a nice guy and you love him, then that's all that matters..

If he's a dick then get rid..

Simple.

[Chatative]

This thread just smacks of FAiL


...Miiiaaaooow! ;)

Sorry, I couldn't resist!!

Essentially, MiST is right though.

[MiST]

...Miiiaaaooow! ;)

Sorry, I couldn't resist!!

Essentially, MiST is right though.

I regret NOTHING! http://lolci.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/cat-fail.gif

[flowergirl2310]

Thank you all for your help

[Chatative]

I regret NOTHING! http://lolci.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/cat-fail.gif

LOL.

I bet you have a library of these right?

That reminds me of a friend of the family. Their cat used to jump up the outside of the house from the window ledges up to the flat roof... one day whilst trying to get from the 2nd floor to the roof, the cat missed & fell 2 stories.

It broke it's jaw but was fine other than that.

I still continued to do this even after that :p

[MiST]

LOL.

I bet you have a library of these right?

That reminds me of a friend of the family. Their cat used to jump up the outside of the house from the window ledges up to the flat roof... one day whilst trying to get from the 2nd floor to the roof, the cat missed & fell 2 stories.

It broke it's jaw but was fine other than that.

I still continued to do this even after that :p

Are you saying your a cat? Like a half human half cat person?

This pleases me greatly..http://i55.tinypic.com/vzk501.jpg

[jessed03]

What is wrong with that cat :eek:

I LOL'd

[Chatative]

Are you saying your a cat? Like a half human half cat person?

Priceless typo.

Or maybe felines really are taking over the world, starting with the interwebs.

Anxiety forum? Coincidence? I think not... we, I mean they, are getting inside your heads & finding your deepest fears!

Catnip anyone?

[MiST]

Catnip anyone?

Now your talking, lets get this party started! http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m92mnaBiRX1re247jo1_400.gif#party%20cat%20g if%20400x267

[jessed03]

Lol. All your sofa are belong to us.

[Chatative]

Is there a social thread in existence? It might be preferable to hijacking other peoples threads. A bit of light hearted conversation goes a long way to help take our minds off things...

Perhaps we should start one e.g. "The Anxiety Social Thread. v1 - Felines are taking over the world!" (or some other witty Cat related pun) ?

[MiST]

This thread needed to be hijacked..:D

[jessed03]

I know, this forum badly needs some kind of off topic now. Too many threads get hijacked as there are some funny mo fos on this site now. I'll try and add a little value instead of just laughing at GIFs OP.

I know it's been said, but many bad parents can have lovely children. Often the kids see the error of their parents ways. After two years, I believe you know him well. You know his mannerisms, you know his temper, you know his philosophy on life, you know his friends. You should know if he's good or bad in two years. It's darn hard to hide your true self from someone for that long.

If you like him, screw what the others think, a last name doesn't make a man who he is. I mean, sure, it often does, but it isn't a rule. Sometimes people get involved in your life cos they're bored or just wanna control stuff. Make your own decision. You're an adult. You'll suffer the consequences of your actions, you might as well decide them for yourself.

[MiST]

Just contacted Admin to ask for a off topic board to be created..:D

Fingers crossed he/she/it adds it..

[AmberGbenga]

Oh franky, nicely said. I agree fully.

[jessed03]

Oh franky, nicely said. I agree fully.

And this girl says she can't write ;) Frankie's killing it these days!

[MiST]

This thread has to be a troll.

It's all kind of stating the obvious don't you think?

[jessed03]

You mean... Artaud???

Nooo, it can't be...

http://replygif.net/i/885.gif

[JLBnole68]

I think frankie said it perfectly. Well done! I agree 1000%

[MiST]

1000%

http://rimuito.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/impossibru-guy.jpg

[JLBnole68]

Also, I'm not sure you divulged anything about your boyfriend's parents in your post that would equate them to being "monsters". So his mom had another child at age 40? How does that make her a horrible person? Sorry, but it sounds like you might be projecting some of YOUR parents' judgements onto his family, and perhaps even him. If he's been good to you and loves you, honey I'd suggest suck it up and be grateful. A hell of a lot of us would be glad to find somebody to love. Yes, I'm in that camp.

[MiST]

As mist says.... I'm a lover not a fighter! ;)

I spent so long thinking I wasn't getting what I needed before my separation and one day the penny dropped and I thought , hang on, I'm not giving what he needs either. Otherwise it would have worked. That's why I ended it.

I think when we have anxiety we focus so much on ourselves and every thought and feeling we get, we fail to look at what we are giving. Just a thought. Not that I'm calling us all selfish as such, merely it takes a LOT of energy being us and even more to enquire about our special others. I needed to look more at that is all.

Has anyone else looked at that and felt the same?

No, i'm pretty much the perfect boyfriend..she's lucky to have me..http://cdn.gifbay.com/2013/04/deal_with_it-41296.gif

[JLBnole68]

Lol @ mist. Oops. I did get carried away with the zeroes!

[Enduronman]

I think we lost flowergirl about 3 miles back with the whole flying no regrets cat thing,...that I can NOT stop laughing about!!! OMGEEE!!!!.... :D

[Dahila]

Heheheeeeeeeeeee

[Enduronman]

Since he never got any love or help from his family, my parents belive he can't do it for me.
His siblings are cold and selfish. Horrible people.
He seems different and I see different but can you change after being raised by a monster?
That has a child at the age if 40 because she was bored that her other children left home.
Than the father died of cancer when he was 21 found out 3 years earlier but Never stopped.
Now the mom has cancer and it never occurred her to stop smoking or to save any money to leave for him.

1. Even though I had (2) parents, in the same home, I didn't "know" them.
2. I was locked in my room when I was young, because of these mental disorders that no one made effort to realize in the 60's, 70's. (ADD/ADHD)...
3. Needless the say, I was abit hyper active....weeeee!!!!
4. The only thing I remember about my Father (at that time) is that he beat my a**, when Mom told him to do so...
5. The only thing I remember about my Mother (at that time) is that I could NOT snack, and I had to eat WHATEVER she made for lunch and dinner..(of which, the dinners would make me want to vomit, and or dry heave...thank God we had a small dog hiding under the dining room table..she saved me!!!)
6. Then, essentially...I grew up alone..and got into soooooo much trouble starting at age 10 to age 18. Like, alllooottttt of Legal troubles.
7. I stopped acting like an idiot at age 18 ( although I may still appear to be an idiot at times )...and had 3 children of my own...2 Grandkids also.
8. POINT OF THIS: I wanted to be, EVERYTHING that my parents WERE NOT.....

Answer to your question, yes...he can be a good person. He can be a good parent. He can be a good husband. Regardless of his "upbringing"....

Best wishes...

E-Man. (The Tazmanian Swede)... LOL! :)


Can a person raised by two monsters be a good parent, husband?................yes.............

[AmberGbenga]

Frankie, YES! I understand totally.. I'm selfish lol BUT am changing my ways.. For sure. As I said in my video love is to give.. I'm practicing what I preach