S_bradbury
01-12-2014, 02:39 PM
Ok so I've never posted anything or even been on one of these websites before but I really feel like I can't talk to anyone at the moment so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm 17 and have recently moved back to England, after living in Spain for 6 years. My life in Spain was very 'laid-back', and I wasn't spoilt by my parents but I definitely had a very easy lifestyle. When I was 15 I had my first 'serious' boyfriend I guess you'd call it. Well we were both very happy together, until over time, I started feeling depressed. I didn't even have a reason to be depressed either, As I had everything I wanted! I pushed and pushed my boyfriend away until in the end he cheated on me. I was completely distraught, which may sound silly as I am only young and some may regard it as being 'naive'. But I was so sad. I didn't leave my house or bedroom for 5 straight days. I didn't eat, shower, drink. I just laid in bed and cried all day.
I lost all my friends. Everybody took his 'side'. I made a friend, though, and we spoke for months and decided to go out one night with some of her friends to the bars. I finally felt really happy, and my parents were so pleased. I'd told this girl everything about me, all the problems I had had with the ex boyfriend, and she consoled me and made me feel better about myself.
While we were out, everything was fine, until he, my ex boyfriend walked in. I pointed him out to her, and she told me not to worry. After a few hours, still at the same bar, I come out of the bathroom to find my 'friend' kissing him. I was so sad. Then that sadness turned into anger. It seemed like all the anger had been building up, so I did something I never thought I'd do. I went over to her, and without even thinking twice about it, punched her in the face. I'd never hit anybody before, and afterwards I instantly regretted it and ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a cubicle and cried. After about half an hour I gathered the courage to come out of the cubicle, to which I was greeted by 5 girls who pushed and hit me. They finally let me go and I ran home.
After that I didn't leave the house for months. I stopped eating completely and went from being 7.5 stone to 5.
The whole time I felt like I had absolutely nobody to talk to. Even though my parents are very caring, I just didn't feel like I could talk to them either. As pathetic as it sounds, suicide crossed my mind at times. I felt like everybody who I put my trust in lets me down. Until one day I cracked. I broke down to my parents, and long story short I decided to move back to England to live with my auntie and uncle.
I felt happy. I felt like this could be a new start for me.
I started sixth form at my local school. I told myself I'd be confident and make new friends. I didn't though. Nobody in my school is friendly, and I often find myself at lunch times or in my free periods locked inside a toilet cubicle. I'm so utterly anxious and I find it so hard to make friends.
I miss my mum and dad so so much. We are such a close family and I didn't think about how hard it was going to be. I only see them every 6/7 months now. I cry every single night because all I want is to be able to be with them, and there's nothing I can do about it. My auntie and uncle often argue, something I've never witnessed or had to be apart of before as my mum and dad never argued. All I want is somebody to talk to. Every day I dread the next. I hate school and I often have minor panic attacks in the morning before I go.
Ok so this probably sounded utterly pathetic and stupid, and I know that people have it way way worse than I do!
If anybody has any advice on how to overcome this depression I'd be so grateful. thanks for reading
I'm 17 and have recently moved back to England, after living in Spain for 6 years. My life in Spain was very 'laid-back', and I wasn't spoilt by my parents but I definitely had a very easy lifestyle. When I was 15 I had my first 'serious' boyfriend I guess you'd call it. Well we were both very happy together, until over time, I started feeling depressed. I didn't even have a reason to be depressed either, As I had everything I wanted! I pushed and pushed my boyfriend away until in the end he cheated on me. I was completely distraught, which may sound silly as I am only young and some may regard it as being 'naive'. But I was so sad. I didn't leave my house or bedroom for 5 straight days. I didn't eat, shower, drink. I just laid in bed and cried all day.
I lost all my friends. Everybody took his 'side'. I made a friend, though, and we spoke for months and decided to go out one night with some of her friends to the bars. I finally felt really happy, and my parents were so pleased. I'd told this girl everything about me, all the problems I had had with the ex boyfriend, and she consoled me and made me feel better about myself.
While we were out, everything was fine, until he, my ex boyfriend walked in. I pointed him out to her, and she told me not to worry. After a few hours, still at the same bar, I come out of the bathroom to find my 'friend' kissing him. I was so sad. Then that sadness turned into anger. It seemed like all the anger had been building up, so I did something I never thought I'd do. I went over to her, and without even thinking twice about it, punched her in the face. I'd never hit anybody before, and afterwards I instantly regretted it and ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a cubicle and cried. After about half an hour I gathered the courage to come out of the cubicle, to which I was greeted by 5 girls who pushed and hit me. They finally let me go and I ran home.
After that I didn't leave the house for months. I stopped eating completely and went from being 7.5 stone to 5.
The whole time I felt like I had absolutely nobody to talk to. Even though my parents are very caring, I just didn't feel like I could talk to them either. As pathetic as it sounds, suicide crossed my mind at times. I felt like everybody who I put my trust in lets me down. Until one day I cracked. I broke down to my parents, and long story short I decided to move back to England to live with my auntie and uncle.
I felt happy. I felt like this could be a new start for me.
I started sixth form at my local school. I told myself I'd be confident and make new friends. I didn't though. Nobody in my school is friendly, and I often find myself at lunch times or in my free periods locked inside a toilet cubicle. I'm so utterly anxious and I find it so hard to make friends.
I miss my mum and dad so so much. We are such a close family and I didn't think about how hard it was going to be. I only see them every 6/7 months now. I cry every single night because all I want is to be able to be with them, and there's nothing I can do about it. My auntie and uncle often argue, something I've never witnessed or had to be apart of before as my mum and dad never argued. All I want is somebody to talk to. Every day I dread the next. I hate school and I often have minor panic attacks in the morning before I go.
Ok so this probably sounded utterly pathetic and stupid, and I know that people have it way way worse than I do!
If anybody has any advice on how to overcome this depression I'd be so grateful. thanks for reading