Need help on how to go about this, Please help

[Lloyd Bert Raisen]

Ok sorry if this is a long read not sure how to word this. but for aslong as I remember I have be socially awkward and over the internet I'll make a small list below

- I'll avoid public events even with friends, ( make up excuses not to go to the pub, football ect )
- If I am in a group of people I always shy away, sit there just listening, don't really take part, find it hard to talk, will avoid it at any costs, and when I am spoken to I just dont know what to say and give like one word answers
- I struggle to enjoy being out with friends, it often gets to much for me then I'll just pretend to be on the phone walk outside and go home without saying a ting to my friends
- When applying for jobs, if I have to ring the place I wont because honestly, I'm scared to phone
- People often click on that I'm the quiet one and makes jokes and have abit of banter about it, and I feel it just makes it worse
- I can't do public speaking what so ever, and if I know someone is wrong about something instead of disagreeing with them I'll just nod and pretend they're right
- I'm scared of being judged
- I have poor social skills unless I've had a drink
- I don't think I have ever had a panic attack, but on a few occasions, when things have got to much for me pressure wise, I have been known to just pass out ( don't know if that is a panic attack? )
- In side I feel so confident but I just fail to project that out in public, they're only a few friends that I can been myself around, but if theyre are more than 4 ina group I just shut off and don't speak at all, just laugh ect trying to look like i apart of the group? if that makes sense
- I don't know if this would be related but I have terrible sleeping patterns, I wake up at random times of the night, even if I've only had 3 hours sleep, I'll wake up and just not be tired? and stay up all day
-I can''t meet strangers at all, if I'm left alone with someone I don't know I just wont speak to them, because I don't know what to say, and when I do it always sounds stupid.
- I do most of my shopping online because I don't like going out shopping
- I do an fair bit of online gaming but I'll only do it with friends, If I do it on my own, I wont search for a game because I'm scared of letting the team down

sorry for the long list, I'm 21 now and I've been like this since I was around 13? maybe going into highschool, I've ignored this for to many years now, and I do feel depressed most nights because of it, I over think things because of it, the group of friends I'm in with are all confident and I feel like Im the odd one out, and I honestly believe this is holding me back, I don't apply for jobs because I'm scared of change ( I do have a job just not a decent paying one and I only got this job through friends ) Obviously I've done my research and the main thing I found was Social anxiety, I ticked allot of boxes on that, I also did a few tests online and scored very high.

So what I'm asking is, I'm going to book an appointment to see a doctor sometime this week, but when I'm in the doctors office what do a say? I struggle to explain things, and I know I wont know what to say to the doctor. would writing down the symptoms I ahve on paper and passing it to them benefit me more? I just don't know how to start off the conversation sounds pretty sad I know, :/ but this is now playing a big part on my life and I feel I need the help it's been ignored for to long, I don't know whether I can get medication or anything to help, I have been taking "Kalms" for the past few months but they haven't eased me in any way. I just need advice on how I can go about this, Please help me someone?

Sorry for the long read again, I am grateful for any kind of help thankyou.

And sorry if this is in the wrong friend didn't notice the others my bad x

[Lord Jazzinho]

I don't know if this will be helpful but firstly Don't take over the counter drugs you can get dependent on them, I took nytol for a year and got kidney failure (I did not drink alcohol). Secondly I can very much understand the what its like to feel confident but not be able to project it. I found this worked for me. I created the persona of the person I wanted to be socially on xbox live and basically practiced projecting that character. Its not a hundred percent but its a start and it can give an idea of what you going for because knowing what you want to be is half the battle won

[JLBnole68]

Hi Lloyd, I think it's great that you're going to see a doctor. I would absolutely write down a list of all the things you're dealing with if you think you'll shut down or not be able to communicate them all or remember them. It can be a bit overwhelming, especially on that first visit with a provider you may not know. Hopefully, a good professional can help you work through some of these social anxieties. I suffer from some of this, too, just not to the same extent. I would encourage you to open up and talk about these things as much as you can, even if it's difficult. The more open you can be, the better someone can help. We all need a support system. Don't bottle these things up. Keep us posted how the visit went. Keep your head up. There's lots of hope and help. -Jeff