New Anxiety Feelings

[dumakey1212]

Hi all,

I've always been somewhat of a worrier but don't feel as though I've experienced legitimate anxiety before in my life like I have recently. I've smoked marijuana heavily (at least daily if not multiple times a day) for the past six months, and this has all been fine as far as my mental health goes other than a definite memory deficit. I took a week-long vacation to San Francisco a week ago, and so it gave me a break from smoking. When I came back and smoked for the first time again with my girlfriend I got uncomfortably high and felt awkward around her, as though I didn't even know how to be a boyfriend and properly communicate with her. It overall made me feel uncomfortable and begin worrying about things. I've also had a few health concerns that are giving me worry, and so this also got me to start worrying and not feel like I can stop. Nevertheless, there was some marked change in how I felt after smoking that time until now. I just feel different. I smoked a few times since then and felt anxious each time as if it has drawn out some latent anxiety in me. For the majority of the past week since I've been back and after smoking that first time, I've felt anxious, stressed, worried, and essentially like things will not be okay. I don't have as much interest in things, and I feel a bit disconnected and not like I can even be myself anymore. It almost sounds like GAD with some depression.

I've decided to stop smoking, and it's felt like less of a decision and more of just what's going to happen because the last few experiences I've had with it are enough to turn me off of it and have essentially stripped any desire I had to continue because it's not fun or therapeutic in the least (not that indulgently smoking daily is therapeutic either, lol). I wondered if the feelings and thoughts I had could be cured by therapeutic exercises like meditation and just developing a different mental perspective by thinking my way out of it, but I honestly believe what I feel isn't just going to go away on its own but has been developed and drawn out by marijuana. I went to my doctor to see what he had to say, and he prescribed me to Celexa and Buspar. I know it'll take 2-3 weeks for the Celexa to build up in my system and start taking effect, but at least I have the Buspar to give some type of immediate relief. I just started taking them last night. I just hope that I wasn't too quick to jump on antidepressants like I have because I never would've thought I'd be in this situation yet life throws curveballs. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, I just hope I don't dig myself into a hole by getting on this SSRI and it making things worse. One positive thing is that I have no anxiety/worry about taking the medication. I feel very openminded about it and am hoping for the best. All I know is I really need some kind of intervention, and this seems like a reasonable method of treatment. Anyone have any thoughts on this or the drugs my doctor prescribed? I guess if anything I want to know if I'm potentially getting myself into trouble by possibly needlessly taking an antidepressant without trying to work this out through other means? Thanks so much for any kind words.

[jessed03]

Obviously taking a break is the first course of action. It's good you see that. I'm not even being patronizing buddy, I've had so many friends who have said stuff like they keep having panic attacks, or seeing the room talk to them whilst high - yet not giving up the green.

You can't really harm yourself by taking an antidepressant needlessly. At least - not according to any worthwhile conclusive studies we have at the moment based around young men and short term usage. A lot of doctors prescribe antidepressants like candy. Either the FDA has made a huge mistake endorsing them, or they are indeed pretty safe for most people and most uses. If you ever don't like what you find on them, they aren't too bad withdrawing from for most people.

The biggest cause of concern for your life, I believe, isn't short term antidepressant use, it's the effect that sudden, possibly long lasting anxiety would have on your quality of living, so you're doing something that I think is helpful, and tackling it. It's just a case of making sure the treatment is effective, but you seem pretty positive about it's effects so far in your post.

A lot of my friends have used benzos to counteract the problems caused by weed, and although effective, opens up it's own minefield of problems - mainly being tolerance and addiction problems. Taking an SSRI is way safer, I think, than going the benzo route.

Meditation should help a lot. Do you need any resources? I'll send you an ebook if you do, but there's plenty of info online.

Adrenal problems are a huge huge problem with weed smokers. Weed taxes those adrenals, which makes anxiety somewhat of a problem for some smokers. Seeing as you've gone down the antidepressant route already, and there's no point in switching to something else now, try taking a reasonable amount of Vitamin C daily, and test the water with a B-Complex. Both are good for adrenal health. Some can't tolerate the Bs though, so if they hype you a little, don't force it. You can do this sometime soon, you don't have to do it just now, let the meds settle. You can perhaps look into a full adrenal health program in future. Adrenal fatigue: A 21st century syndrome, is a great book to help with that.

Tackling the actual anxiety is also a must. The drugs only do so much. Correct thinking habits will reduce the stimulus that's hyping your amygdala quite significantly. Be careful though, the thought 'I don't think I'll get over this' IS AN ANXIETY THOUGHT. Dont tackle all the other anxiety thoughts, but let that one get through. It's one that tricks everyone!

The SSRI Celexa is one of the easiest drugs to take according to doctors. It's effective too, so hopefully that helps you.

I've known lots of people to get over this. Well, at least the smart ones! And you do seem one of the smart ones.

[NixonRulz]

This thread needs no more posts. Well done, Jesse

Why are you up at 5:00 AM your time?

[jessed03]

I went to have a nap, ended up sleeping til 3am. Now I have nothing else to do but post on here until it's light and fix up my skype

[NixonRulz]

Hahahahahaha

That's great

[dumakey1212]

All of that helped to reassure me a lot! Thank you so much. I think I have a decent foundation to start meditating since my mom knows a bit about it and I've read some stuff on the Internet as well. The only thing I'm not sure about is whether I need to specifically do Transcendental Meditation or if any kind of meditation will be good. What I keep seeing is that they want you to pay an absurd amount of money to learn TM, which seems a bit ridiculous considering it's supposed to be a tool you can use to better your life just by using your own mind essentially (at least as far as I know). I would really appreciate the ebook, though, or a suggestion about which type of meditation to do.