Anxiety ruining my relationship

[cdfrank]

I love my boyfriend so much and he is a great guy! I've been knowing for 3 years and we have been together for a year! He mean the world to me and I would be able to get through this without him but sometimes I think I'm allow anxiety to ruin my relationship! I'm so not happy with myself and what I'm going through I think he's suppose to feel the same way about me! I think he suppose to just up and leave me because I'm going through this and I don't think it's fair he has to deal with this so call myself pushing him away sometimes and I hurt his feelings! I don't mean to hurt him I be really trying to help him so he can be happy! Now, I feel like he is finally getting it like I don't want to deal with this cause I have been overbearing, annoying and insecure with it and I think now he's really tired of it! What's anybody else experience with anxiety and their relationships?

[chardae]

Going through the same thing sorry I don't any advice to add, thinking about loosing him sets my anxiety off even more.

[bittersweetgirl]

Same here. Ruined three relationships in a row, but the guys aren't anything special anyway. I pick the wrong guys because of my anxiety, I suspect. It may be him, not you.

[MiST]

but the guys aren't anything special anyway

Not very nice..LOL

Of course anxiety will affect every corner of your life, including relationships. Being the partner of an anxiety sufferer is no easy task and it's easy to get complacent to their felings as it is just as hard for them coming to terms with and understanding our many and varied symptoms.

Being open and honest and trying to explain your symptoms and how they affect you is of great benefit to a struggling partner.

[cdfrank]

I try to make him understand the best way I know how but sometimes he don't understand and I can't blame him! I try to get him to know that I do have times when I can okay and them all of a sudden go to being sad cause that's how I feel all the time I just try to lie but sometimes I just can't you know! I don't want him thinking it's him because it's not he's amazing but I do see now that he's becoming tired and fed up and I understand why!

[lexiii]

ive noticed that people whove never experienced this do not understand the full extent of it :(

[cdfrank]

I also noticed they will never FULLY understand they can only see what they see and hear what you tell them and then go from there which is not even half of the story of living with anxiety!

[MiST]

But if you think about it, a partner does not really need to fully understand, it is not a requirement and nor is it important. What matters is that they are supportive of you and can provide comfort when you need it.

[AmberGbenga]

I agree with mist. I was with a guy for 2 years, he is a good guy, treated me well.. But towards the end I was pushing him away.. He said he had lost love for me and that was it.. For me it was all or nothing. It was a mutual ending.. Very hard. After that another guy told me to just get over it. Now I'm blessed with a guy who kind of understands.. He is very strong, and he helps me alot. But the thing is your partner will not stand around and just accept this is a forever thing. You need to take steps to get better, include them in the process. My partner is helping me a fuck load.. I don't think I could have done it without him truth be told.. Well I probably
Could but it would have been alot harder. He is even buying me anxiety books that are mad in USA because its so expensive for me to buy them and he is sending them to me.. I have a gem, and I'm never letting go, I'm not putting him above my recovery, but he is sure as hell right beside me every step of the way

[AmberGbenga]

Sometimes it's just not the right person or timing. Either way this goes Hun, know that it is ment to be. Everything happens for a reason. Brutal lessons are learnt, life does not sugar coat.

[MiST]

life does not sugar coat.

Thank god! I'm diabetic..:D

[Dahila]

Cd frank you are very young and beautiful lady, I am much older than you. I was in relationship, I loved him like crazy, I was kind of crazy about him. I was so anxious not to lose him, I lost him......I chickened out before i told him what I am going through. Later on , was too late. More than 12 years passed, and I still regret it. I am very happy in present relationship though :))
Honest conversation will keep you grounded, at least you will know what is going on, and to what extend the boyfriend will support you. I bet he will :))
Sometimes we do not give them enough credit, do not we? eh? :))

[cdfrank]

Thank you very much guys and you are right sometimes we don't give them enough credit and I don't think I have given him enough credit and do deserve some :-)

[bittersweetgirl]

Well, I mean 3 in a row were liars, and two were cheaters. I suspect my anxiety has made me somewhat desperate and unable to think clearly and make good decisions. I do understand that it's hard on the partners, but man... these guys would have done what they did no matter what my mental state was. I mean, the lying and cheating was from Day One of the relationships. And who's the one in treatment? Mixed up world! ;)

Not very nice..LOL

Of course anxiety will affect every corner of your life, including relationships. Being the partner of an anxiety sufferer is no easy task and it's easy to get complacent to their felings as it is just as hard for them coming to terms with and understanding our many and varied symptoms.

Being open and honest and trying to explain your symptoms and how they affect you is of great benefit to a struggling partner.

[Shy_1]

Cd, he's clearly stuck by your side, and loves you very much. You got a keeper. My ex girlfriend suffered really bad depression (suicidal) I stuck with her for 4 years, loved her to bits but she split up with me because she didn't want to destroy my life. Devastating to this day! Sometimes us guys aren't the most responsive but if you feel like you feel safe, comfortable and slightly more relaxed around him, then definitely try focus on him and you two as a couple. Hopefully that might ease any personal anxieties. He's stuck with you through your bad so he definitely deserves your best :)

[cdfrank]

I know he does and I have to get him back! I know he like b word you don't know what you want!

[Shy_1]

In all honesty I can understand it would frustrate him if you're Sure then unsure etc. but if you both know you want each other and he is able to accept you for you then awesome! ...

The girl Who just split with me loved me from day one, I just kept her at arms reach, as I was terrified of anyone getting hurt, then I fell for her and by then it was too late. But I've cut her out my life like I have with most people who've hurt me. Massive protective mechanism. Pretend like it didn't happens or exists.

[chardae]

I have had both types of relationships, I was with someone for 6 years who lied and cheated. I grew myself in that time with intense therapy and medication but my self esteem was so broken by this boy. I never expected him to understand what I was going through but he was truly one of the most selfish people I have ever met. Even after I had our daughter there was no physical and mental support.

I have met someone new and he is wonderful. I am honest with him but so scared I will push him away because I am scared he will leave me. He has jumped right into my little family unit with open arms and I feel like I can talk to him, he doesn't understand what goes through my mind but I also have trouble putting my feelings into words so it makes it that much harder.

[Shy_1]

I have had both types of relationships, I was with someone for 6 years who lied and cheated. I grew myself in that time with intense therapy and medication but my self esteem was so broken by this boy. I never expected him to understand what I was going through but he was truly one of the most selfish people I have ever met. Even after I had our daughter there was no physical and mental support. I have met someone new and he is wonderful. I am honest with him but so scared I will push him away because I am scared he will leave me. He has jumped right into my little family unit with open arms and I feel like I can talk to him, he doesn't understand what goes through my mind but I also have trouble putting my feelings into words so it makes it that much harder. Chardae, that's wonderful you have that! And I LOVE the fact you referred to your ex partner as a boy, real men don't lie or cheat! And we have beards! :p with my ex she use to write things down on paper and leave me notes. It was really sweet, and she would put them in random places for me to find. It would say what she is thankful for and how she feels, and if can only assume made it easier to express herself honestly...always end the note on a positive. Try it, he'l appreciate it and more importantly stay positive, you have a great thing!

[Dahila]

The key of life is find your worthiness in yourself. Never ever look how to higher your self esteem through the men, It does not work like that. I think women lower self esteem by other woman.

Cheater, there is always in every relationship possibility of cheating. For me the sometimes it was difficult and I am not a hunter...:))
Men cheat, when they feel like hunting. Sometimes we can change it, so they need to hunt us:)) Be a stranger, changing the situation and behavior can keep them on constant courting and they will not cheat. Usually they cheat when they feel down.... and they want to be macho man;))

Ladies we are complicated creatures so are they.
My two older brothers had open minds, we talked about everything, they were the ones who gave me a lot of good advice,....

No, no every man is a liar but many of them are, so are we...
Life with man is bad;))) but worse without him....

[MiST]

Funny, every woman i have been with has cheated on me. I can at least pride myself on the fact i have never once been unfaithful to any of my partners.

[em1]

Funny, every woman i have been with has cheated on me. I can at least pride myself on the fact i have never once been unfaithful to any of my partners.

Mist clear your messages I can't message you back :)

[MiST]

Mist clear your messages I can't message you back :)

Done...........

[em1]

Done...........

Thanks mist sent you a message :)

[Dahila]

Mist btw not only woman chose wrong partners, you guys do this too. :)