My Anxiety Problem -Feed Back Please-

[jesse230]

Before we start... my grammar is preety bad. never been a good speller so don't yell at me :/

I'm a 18 male. Now, i'v always been a scared kid ever sence i was little. My brothers n sister would laugh cuz i was scared of a thunder storm. im still kinda scared but only when i hear tornado watch. or see dark cloudes. Well, my mother has been good to me for these 18 years and is my safe person. I know she wont be around for awhile becouse she just hit the age of 54.

Um, but when i was in 10th grade.. my anxiety went full blown...I had a very fast heart beat while playing basketball during launch (Note: now this has happend 2 times before this. but i would shrug them off) They would feel as if they went 200 bpm (beets per min) but, they would stop after 2-3 mins like my heart would skip a beat and it would slow down. But, this one was preety bad. cuz, i had to walk a very long hall way..going down this hall way..im saying to myself im gunna die..im gunna die..as i hold my chest. (note: it feals diffrent from a regular beat so idk..) i got to the office. saying call 911 cuz, my heart was beeting waay to fast. and she called the nurse in..but i took a big breath and my heart skipped a beat and slowed down..and i said ok nvm..forget ti and walked out...(Note: cuz it was beating normal so i was liek ok w.e and i went back..but i took it ez) the next day i come to school..got all the way to last period (gym) and i started feeling light headed...and i just wasnt good...so i went home and on the ride home i was feeling like i was gunna pass out bad. cuz of my heart or i couldnt breath. (anyways skipping down a bit) I got checked out by the docters said my heart was in very good condition i was jsut a bit overweight. but, i wouldnt balieve this story...so, i continued to balieve there was somthing wrong. But, a bit later i finally decided to say it's anziety..(note: while during this whole time i was having heavy of the chest...i could feal my hearts EVERY beet. i would feel un comfortable. i would get out of bed slowlly so i would rush my heart) so the docter gave me meds..they seemed to work..no heavy of the chest no week no nothing. but, i would have an acassion of a fast heart (but a normal fast heart..just scared it would go into overdrive again) But, i take online school cuz im scared it will happen again (fast heartbeat like 200+ *Note* i don't know if thats the true number..i coulda just been indept with my heart and thats what made it happen. But, i WAS doing activity all 3 times when it happend) i bearly go out. I use to have tons of friends and i kinda gave up on them. but about a year passes with this. in the summer my parents leave to do a contract in a town 3-4 hours away. so, im home alone... but, i met this very nice girl who turned into my gf... (also my 2nd safe person) she kept me very happy..and i indeed feel inlove with her in only 2 months time as she said 2. but, i was under confident and didint take my pills. and i then thought she was cheating on me. so bad job jesse :/ and we broke up a few before our 3rd month. that put me in a depression state for 4 months. my parents come home and they stay for a bit. 1 month later my dad has a heart attack. his 4rth one..

so now i got scared about my blood pressure. (134/91) My mom which was a nurse back in the day said normal is 130/? i forgot the other number. and it goes up and down all day long. it's all on stress/physical work/etc. and i havnt worked out in a long time due to me being scared my heart goes up. but, when i do.. do somthing that makes my heart go up and then it calms down without my axiety kicking in. im happy.. but just 4 hours ago i had another anxiety attack..which i thought was a preety bad one. i thought i was gunna pass out. felt like my heart wasnt pumping correctly..felt like i was short of breath..i felt so bad. but, i havnt been on my pills.

Also, im deeply down scared that this is gunna ruin my chances of getting a nice girl..i mean i got all my friends on msn and stuff and i chat with people on myspace (lamespace) but, it's the only chances. i cant go to a bar..cuz if she asks to dance im like well..im fucked. lol.. But, honeslty it feels so bad and i just want this anziety to go away. girls where always my life.. but my first love was that girl over the summer and i damn this anxiety cuz thats why we broke up..but it was my fault for balieving it. andi never would of met such a girl if i didint have this. but, yes..thats another anxiety i got.

But, i wrote this becouse maybe someone else has this or possible has a situation...or just wants to talk. I take online classes. so, im free all the time...so please leave some feed back. thanks. and sorry for the grammar i bet it hurt :/

P.S: Just took my puls it was 70 beets per min. Relaxed. but yet i can feel it pump...it doesnt hurt but, it's annoying...like it's pumping hard and i go...why is my heart pumping heard if its slow and im not doing anything and im like hmm maybe my hearts week and its over pumping and it needs to pump hard cuz its week..but the docotrs said it was good arg...cant this go away id ratherb e scared of storms my whole life then this :/

[ron111]

The heart scares me too. It's really the only thing that scares me. Anxiety wouldn't bother me, but I feel it puts extra pressure on my heart. I have no problem meeting new people, but sometimes I get anxious not because the people but just because. I've always been like that but just shrugged it off. I thought everybody has anxiety so why worry about it. Well now I do. I think everybody puts pressure on themselves to get better which makes it worse. I'm putting presure on myself because I have law school coming up and I feel I need a straight mind for that.

I'm sorry, I don't have an answer yet for this. I'm quite new at dealing with anxiety. I've been a very confident person my whole life until this. I check my heart rate a lot too. Hear could be some advice though. I run a lot and it decreases my resting heart rate. My resting is around 54 maybe less. So when I feel anxious and it's at 60, I don't feel too bad about that. I'm like I have the symtoms but it's not really effecting my heart.

[jesse230]

Thanks for the some advice. But, im not as fit. But, about average persay. My resting heart rate is 72-80 But, sometimes it jumps to like 90-110 for like 30-an hour. but, it could be going that high when i chec kit cuz im scared. sometimes i check it and it's 84. which really isnt bad at all. andi think ur heart goes up and down all day. and when ur scared your heart rate increases along with the pounding. So, me being really scared can get my heart up to 120-140 sometimes. but, thats still not bad.. you really can't die with a fast heart beat. it's possible you pass out and your brain goes into secure mode. and ur heart then goes down. iv never passed out. But, my head im thinking my heart will go to fast..and stop. and not work no more = death. im 18 and i wanna live a life. im sick of this. i wanna go out and hit on girls like i use to. i wanna go get laid :/ but, i am losing weight due to not eating. So, i use to weigh 210 now i weigh 185 ish give our take a few. im 5.6 so im a bit over weight i could lose 15-20 more pounds. but thanks for any info.

[ron111]

It sucks I know. I've been constantly checking my heart rate for 5-6 months. I know I shouldn't, but it's so hard not to. However, my advice would be to exercise more. When I started hitting it hard, my heart rate when I was really anxious dropped from 72 to 66. And my resting dropped much more. Maybe if you started exercising more regularly, then your heart rate when you are anxious would be lower. It makes me feel better. Maybe it would you too? It also keeps my mind off of it too. It's hard for me to say dont check your pulse, because i do that too, haha.

But, I know the pounding is anxiety related. And we pay so much attention to our heart. Other people might not notice it. But to add more advice, don't look up any conditions or anything heart related or anything. If something bothers you, go to the doctor. That's how I've gotten in trouble every time, and it's so hard to get over. These forums are great, but there is so much out there that will just scare us.

BTW, when i exercise my target heart rate is around 170, and i do that for 45 minutes or so a day. So if my heart can take that, I think yours can take 120 of being anxious. We'll get through this.

[jesse230]

ya, i know im gunna try to work with my target heart at about 120 for 30 mins. try fast walking. i think that'll help me alot. + the walking is a bit calming. So, it works out the body and now im starting to eat a bit healthier. not, eating cereal all the damn time :D lol.. I eat Celery and a few carrots every morning. depending if i want a apple or not. then a i make a sub sandwich with turkey and apple juice as my drink. and i try not to eat dinner just cuz im trying to lose weight but, i'll make somthing resonablly healthy.

[Slacker]

I know this is an old thread and I'm not sure if you're still around Jesse but I had a similar situation in college that started this like 5 years ago. I was lifting weights at the gym and after I finished something triggered me to put all my attention to my heart and I could feel it beating so fast and hard; I thought I was gonna drop dead right there. One of the guys asked me to sit down and calm down. When I got to the nurse and they checked my vitals, I was fine and my pulse was back to 92 or so. Well ever since then, I have anxiety attacks basically anytime my heart rate elevates. And I am still constantly checking it.

I know your pain... it's hard to break out of this. I used to be very athletic and more outgoing too. I mean I used to run track all the time. But now I am scared to exercise or exert myself as much. I have had my heart beat up to 180 from anxiety.

I have been to the doctor for reassurance. I've gotten all kinds of tests done and they constantly tell me I'm fine with nothing to worry about. But I am still scared! So over the past few years dealing with this, I have learned a bit. One of the most important things to me has been eating. If I don't eat for a while, I get very anxious and my heart speeds up much faster. So what supresses my anxiety the most is eating right and avoiding lots of sugar, caffeine, etc. (Oh and drinking a little actually slows your heart rate/metabolism down). I hardly dirnk but I notice that when I do drink.

For the most part though, I still deal with this day to day but it doesn't affect me as much as it used to. It used to be REALLY bad; I would constantly go to the ER anytime I had an attack. I also get palpitations as well and that freaks me out, but I am tall and thin and people with that body frame get them more often.

Someday we have to trust ourselves, our doctors, and embrace this anxiety. Go out and run and see how far you can get. Now I am definitely not ready to do that yet but that is something all of us, who fear exercising/heart racing, will eventually have to come to grips with. And once you get through that, you will be so relieved that nothing happened.

[Suzanne]

I can relate to what you are going through, its called "hyper-vigilance" and what that means is if you are constantly thinking about say, how fast is my heart beating? Its beating too fast? etc. You will be trapped in a cycle where your focus is on monitoring your heart beat. The best way to get past this is to use distraction techniques, you may have already noticed that when you are really focused on something else you are not aware of your heart beating.
I found counting backwards from 100 by 7 in your head e.g. start at 1000 then subtract 7 in your head = 93 then seven from that = 86 and so on. If that it too easy pick a higher number to start from and use say, 13 as the number you subtract. This helped me a lot by distracting myself from always feeling/monitoring my heart beat.

Hope this helps a little and it will work if you stick with it :)