COMING OFF Quetiapine/Seroquel MY RECORDS

[Ponder]

I was put on Quetiapine/Seroquel to help with my extreme anxiety. It does help! I was indeed relieved. I was not put on a high does. I started the first two days with 100mg which knocked me to the ground within 2 minutes after taking it. I was almost nauseated like how I react to morphine. After that, I was to start taking 50mg which for the most part would kick in after 20mintues and have me in bed not long after that. In the mornings - it's like waking from a hangover without the headache. Some hours later if not active - I would feel a little better my late morning to lunch time.

Whilst relieved and thankful to finally find a med that helps my anxiety, there has been a big price to pay and one that now tips the scale making me question the ongoing use of this medication for it's current off label us (in my case)

This medication is known to upset a persons metabolic rate - I have even been reading the term "metabolic syndrome" - I do hope I am able to recover from that. I heard it reported if taking low doses, that such a condition can stabilize itself about one month after coming off them. Rather than play too much into this, I will take the reigns and find out for myself via, healthy living and a regimented exercise plan!

The resultant Obesity I have suffered is just too much - I can not tie up my shoes. I struggle to even put them on. My Reflux is hugely worsened - my esophagitis also plagued, no energy what so over - physically my state has wiped the benefit in taking this med - again for it's off label use in my case. My back is sore, I am cramping out often, I chaff pretty much all the time which in turn makes my exercise comebacks rather pitiful. I eat all the time - my vision is cloudy - my hands swell up easily - I feel cloggy and sweaty - I find it hard to breath through my nose - I suffer dry mouth - and on and on - Obesity in itself is quite a debilitating condition and should be regarded as just as much a threat to ones wellbeing as any kind of mental imbalance.
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______

SO - I dropped myself back to 25 and now not taking them at all -

Research of mine own reveals from other online records - that SLEEP may be an issue.
As too some stomach upsetness.

I can confirm this, however - I note not many of the individuals recorded any kind of dedicated exercise plan.
Also many said it took quite some time before weight loss was evident - none the less - some recorded decent results given no record of physical activity.
Again - give about a month to HOPEFULLY see ones metabolic rate stabilize (not sure if there is a test to find out if its been &^%$ed for good?!?!?)

Heading back to Home Base today - LOL - I am in the middle of looking for a new place to live and still have to pack and clan old house before moving into a place we do not yet have to live. I refuse to make excuse not to come off though - I am feeling OK - as 5 days now in the sun and sand - with salty fresh air making me feel more determined than ever. Mania will come with my efforts to beat the beast - Not all forms of anxiety are bad - It's about how I channel it and come down - make sure others not at risk as too myself - then no need to make out it's the end of the world.

I can't wait to get my ENERGY back! GGGGGGGGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrr LOL Oh YEA! - in that respect E-man - I know well the bursts that peak in your posts - a sense of well being being released as best that suits our personalities US - the way we naturally are. Perhaps a bit much for some, but as long as we can live with ourselves and not too much upsetting others - I guess.
__________________________________________________ ______________________________________________

Day ONE of the heavy Meds - PLUS I'm also of my Pristuqe (Anti-depressant)
Lets see what really happens - "in my case!"
Personal Experience is the best test! - keep a record though!

[Enduronman]

I get it alllll bruh..

Yes, I'm dealing with some for reaaalllllll grrrrrrrrr at the moment. 51 minutes later, after an "event" nearly caused a huge catastrophic loss of mass proportions. I know this well.

I also know "about" the seroquel. They had put my oldest daughter on that her Senior year of HS. She slept for 2 days on 1 tablet...Then they tried risperdal, again, 2 days of sleep. If that's the "point" of the medicational purpose or function, then great, but sleeeepppiingggg one's life away to place oneself away from the stresses causing the anxiety, plus chemical disposition of one's own mind,...did not seem the good fit for her. Plus, that s**t was expensive too and I had to pay for it flat out. I guess I can't really talk about how expensive those were or I'd be a hypocrite presently because one of my meds now is 4 times what the risperdal cost back then..near $800 for a month.

I'm still taking the abilify, and I am still very pleased with the results. In fact, I think it may have just kept my feet planted firmly on the floor in an explosive episode. It helped greatly. The side effects are minimal, the only weird thing that I've noticed is it doesn't matter what time I go to sleep, I'm up again exactly 3 hours later, like clockwork. Then I force myself to go back to sleep again for 3.5 more hours, then up again...kinda weird that it's so oddly precise.

I also don't seem to have much problem with energy, it is the only "mood stabiliser" on the market that works in the (dopamine) area of the brain. That provides energy, somehow, and the desire to go out, go here, go there, but the only problem is that "going" anywhere isn't so easy yet. That may get better over time though, I just don't know yet. I have PT starting next Tues and Thurs and they have a giant weight system platform machine in there too...I must have looked abit odd slobbering down my face when I first went in for the assessment..I could hardly stop stareing at it.....mmmmmm...iron. LOL!..

The trainer just said NO..her name is Keizia. I doubt that she could keep me away from it if I reealllllyyy wanted to try it out but I also told her that she will have too, at all costs. I will get hurt, I will hurt myself, I will "re-invite" this disease to attack me again...it's sleeping or hiding somewhere, I want to keep it that way. That's why PT seems like a double-edged sword too. hmmm..how far do I go? I don't know, I can't answer that yet.

Yes, there is also some pristique here too that they had tried on my youngest (lion cub) daughter but it caused her to "disconnect" from everyone and everything. I think I like the one that makes me want to...umm...yeah, drive me to Defcon 4.45 in a tenth of a second over the one that acted like Jack Nicholson in that Cuckoo movie coming back from his electroshock therapy session when he was f***in with all the patients.. That was how she acted on it, now it's only xanax xr, but I think she needs something else added and she nearly eats her therapist alive every time she goes still too.

I know, patience...it's hard to find that though when you don't know where it even is..

I'm calming now. She is Me...My clone, just 70 pounds lighter and 6 inches shorter. eesssshhhhh.....

My Mother always said "wait till you have kids and see what they put you through!"..PPSSTTT....wutevvv Mom...

OMG! She was right....parents were always right. Just had to become one to find that out...(sighhhhhhhhhhhh)))))))......:|

Keep us up to speed brah!! Good to read your thoughts..

E.. :)

[Ponder]

I hugely appreciate your responses and insights. I am very sorry you have to pay so much for medicine. That is one big thing that makes me both Sad and Angry with American Politics. I'm sorry to say, but I am rather Anti Western Society. I am sorry if that is offensive to you. Australia is modeling itself on America and that brings much despair to me. They are now just about to implement more charged on bulk billing, so we may soon have no more free health care, unless hospital emergencies. This is just fresh news here - many not happy about that.

Anyways sorry to babble - again, I am very sorry for the cost of meds in your country. I don't think that can ever be justified as far as I am concerned.

Very interesting reading your thoughts and experiences with the meds I have raised.
So far so good ---- the dizzy spells from coming of the anitdepresants are fading - I did however dial that down, as opposed to suddenly stopping.

Going for a walk - been a big day - 5 hour drive back home- see how I sleep tonight :)

Your a top Bloke E-man. I was unsure how to take you at first with the muscle avatar - more my hang up! - I am really pleased to of been talking so much with you. Please understand as I come off the meds and start to exercise, I might say some negative things, spiral some, then come good again. I only say this because I respect you and am thankful for your time spent with me. Basically I expect to go from getting tears in my eyes watching animated movies to the other extreme with having to avoid eye contact when I'm out, lest my rage get the best of me. Perhaps an Irony for many as one attempts to give the meds a break and battle with the weight loss and reclaim my body - however - It's the battle I must at least attempt - just as sure the tides come and go -

It's not often I come across guys that are as open as me - that alone makes me feel like I am more astranged than I would otherwise think. I often end up talking to myself because many people don't't understand the massive mood swings I type out as I try to wrestle whatever it is for that time. Anyways - Thanks!

[Enduronman]

Babbling is a good thing friend, I love to babble!! Especially, if someone will actually read it or listen..(some won't, as you can see)..but I know what I'm looking at. You know what I mean?....

If you can get meds for cheaper, then that's awesome! Yes, they are verryyyy expensive over here. Anything in fact, that promotes a better quality of anything here, comes with a huge pricetag.

Yes, I know about all those meds that you have referred too. Plus, living with all these disorders for 46 years, makes one abit wise as to what they're offering me or my children too.

HAHA!!! The muscle avatar! That was me in late 2011. I was ate up with fitness, I felt great, looked (not old) and that's what I was the most proud of. I would lift with dudes in their 20's and keep up with them. It became my new addiction and was way better than all my other addictions previously. I had that up there as my avatar to show other members here that even people with mental disability were capable of being strong, fit, powerful...(it was more of a metaphor) than it was me trying to be pretentious or a showboat. I wanted people to see power, envision their own inner power, and then maybe even see themselves from the outside/in as powerful. I can see how you might take that pic as "what a d**khead"...LMAO!! It isn't just your own hang up, it's just your own perspectives and interpretations of the point I was trying to make. Replacing something negative that consumes our minds, thoughts, with something positive,..killing some iron, forcing some internal pain and soreness, and compressing the disorders within all of us to a point whereas it was "choked off" and couldn't breathe the same air as I could..It worked.

I know exactly how you feel Dave, I can empathize with you near 100%. It's like we're brothers and I know your struggles, because they are my own struggles daily. Go ahead and "be yourself" here, because that is the best way to get to the "source" of the issues that we deal with anyway's. To be open, honest, transparent, and I do the same too. (and I also pissed someone else off lastnight too because I just type it, as I see it, although it isn't my true intention in any way at all)..

I'm here, we are all here, and we're behind you and your efforts 300% no matter what they may be..your personal support team, and you support us in return too. (the best way to heal oneself, is to try to help heal others) whether that be here, or out there...

I'm open bruh, because it's the only way to force "it" out..

Have a great day man and hopes for successes no matter how big or how small, they all count!

E-Man...:) (gotta go get a shot now, eessshhh)

[Enduronman]

Hi Frankie ^^^^^... Be back soon....injection day. yippee...

E..:)

[Ponder]

Hi Frankie - my heart wrenches when I see your avatar :( --- however, I'm not suggesting you change it at all. I just wanted to say something to you before about it. I'm not sure if that good looking girl is you, however she looks way too beautiful for such a painful expression - but I get it and feel it all the same. You have my warmest thoughts and best wishes to be sure. It's such a powerful expression and I thank you for sharing that! People need to see things other than just fairly floss - I only hope that your able to change it to a smile - but not one of those plastic EEEEEEEEE look at me ones - because I would rather look at your avatar over that any day!!!!!! Such beauty, that beckon s to shine ... :( :) I mean I can see the light anyways - it's beautiful the way it is! you are too whether you a pic or not of you.

Thanks Bro - I check in later - I struggle with sleep last night, but doing OK today and felt MUCH MUCH better when I woke up. Just dealing with the lingering depression, then again feeling good to see Frankie pop in. :)

[Ponder]

YW ... we must express and be honest with ourselves lest we live the lie so commonly taught.

I understand about changing meds and wish you well to finding what sits right, also that you find a little restful sleep as I too am sure better days will come for those of us that give in and struggle less, whilst yet gaining strength to keep moving forward on what we ourselves feel is right. Tonight I am a little withdrawn in my thoughts, but not to badly suffering with the stopping of my meds. If anything, I am gaining some of my will back to once again, give myself another go.

Whilst in saying that - Rages are building within. Meds will never make the therapeutic choice that must come from within. My battle with Society will NEVER END - when I be approached from those that claim Authority to have me justify my space. My spit is ready for such gov'nt servants that wish to push my button. These fools know not the savage beast that awaits when they come a knocking at my door. However, I will reclaim my body - despite the vengeance, hostility and pain within. This country is passing some fairly totalitarian laws of late and heading into the same cesspool of so called world leading nations. GGGGGGGGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr The world is turning the thumb screws on those that can not contribute - the sick thing about it all, is how many use the name of God in order to justify their place. My mind is chopping at the bit, thinking about these new laws and when comes my review - oh HOW I'm going to fucking give them the act of insanity that they claim must be lived. Alas my rant begins! How it is that well all owe them - that they dare to tell others, how it's us that preach that bullshit. A fucking ACT they may claim, and I will say - NONE the less, it's going to be one hell of a generational psychotic outbreak which will pass as real! Again the world is a stage - every one is taught to act - How it is that we become prisoners to these Lords, Sires and Queens - FUCK THEM - I rage for the day that others would turn on these PIGS and spit on all forms of authority. Man what a fucking wake up call that would be! But nope - medication-and all sorts of pacification to keep these would be's blinkered and fixated on either achieving, or feeling guilty for not having those "other things" -

Why the fuck should I take pills and become obese to the point I can not breath - be robed of my energy, my fucking essence - FUCK SOCIETY - Fuck Humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hheheheheheheeeee - yep, they want me to play the game, and mind you all the others out there that have not yet tightened the noose - If I could inspire anyone right now, it would be to spit on those others, who make them out to be SICK sorry individuals who have not worked and or contributed to their gain as well as supporting the rest of the world ----------- FUCK ALL THOSE TYPES ---------- and fuck their Lords - Judges - and all forms of Authority.
=_________________________________________________ _____________

Here's the reality for those us so truly fucked - that when we come off the meds, they would deem us fit to conform to their BS main stream living - I don't know what this New Therapist is going to be like - But I'm resetting myself - and if she wont listen to me because I am not on meds and plays into that FUCKING PROJECTED WELFARE MENTALITY _ RIGHTEOUS SUPERIORITY - Then I will remain closed and seek another. I am SO upset about leaving the only person I ever came to trust - You know how it can be - they are rare- Finally one to help me, now I have to put up with all the new thumb screws the well equipped claim to say is best, - I won't have fucking time for going over my sordid story - if she comes across as one of those cut and dry shrinks - GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ------------------ I'll pretty much know by the second session with the third summing that up. BREATH SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --------------------------- Come to think of it I will have to ring in the next few days. Hey fuckers --- you out there listening to all this - if so - kiss my fucking ass because I will never bow down to you cunts - You want a generation of unemployable fuckups with ongoing 3 monthly reviews - what your going to get is much much more mental issues than you can bargain for.

Fucking Lardeeedarrrdarrrrrrrrrrrr -
__________________________________________________ ____________________

And that's how the cookie will crumble with such people who project that guilt for us types not working - Good fucking Job for you if your able - But don't't ever fucking wine to me about supporting others with your pay check - You'd do much better to keep your fucking mouth shut and just hand them a rope!
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________

LOL - NOW THAT FELT FUCKING GOOD! Dont ever - ever be afraid to stand up to such cunts that think you owe them! Purge as you need to - YES I am hung up on this subject - because it's something people won't shut the fuck up about - so YEA - go your hardest - keep fucking wining and I and all the others, regardless of pills or not, will disassociate all the same. Best of luck recruiting your new work force.
__________________________________________________ _______

Kiss Kiss -

Now moving on -
Not a bad day really - did some more exercise and bought some good food. Been drinking lemons and water as well. I've decided to go hell for leather and FUCK EVERYONE ELSE - got to do what ya go to do - Fucked if I will take on board any more crying outside my fence - tears are all gone for now - will let others out there determine how much they want to keep pushing. It's not poor me at this point - I'm thinking more poor you.

...and its fucking great to be waking up feeling refreshed - Man they hate it when your actually doing well! Life's a bitch like that .

PURGE PURGE and PURGE some more - Oh how much BS there is yet to come.

Peace out - Love and Lighting Bolts with rays of sunshine or whatever it is that paths your way -> You want a world of loonys - No problem - Job Done!
Adios ------------

[Ponder]

To think I used to be one of those hard workers everyone would say, "Hay man, slow down, your making us look bad" Go figure, I could never work out why people put me down for that. They were not joking I was often despised for working hard - and also for doing the fucking job RIGHT! I also worked a lot for free - but the fucking word WORK is an evil thing really - once they try and make a slave out of you - It's job done as far as I am concearend and I will never change until I am appreciated and not taken advantage of. I am SO OVER listening to my wife's parents rave on how hopeless I am and how good they are for supporting me and others like me.............

Result for them - is they never see their grand kids - SAD SAD SAD - their choice, they work so hard - it's the life they choose, but the main Prob is - everyone has to justify it while making out others to be beneath them ............. My wife was deeply hurt this Christmas with her mothers comments - shit like that builds up and leads to people killing themselves - not me - but fuck - don't't it happen ... and what a wasted life full of denial and resistance they live. Again - poor fucking hard core workers that shit on others. I pitty the next welfare officer that attempts to grind me - ooo or 911 call that will be. I seriously have to looking into getting some kind of support p[person to come with me.

[Ponder]

Absolutely we do :)

The second post I put in for that very reason, although much of main stream rattles my cage too. Most people are unconscious to the things of which I speak. I have no problem with successful people nor rich ones too - for theirs is more a blinded life than mine. The denial and hypocrisy however drives me to the brink of insanity. I will briefly explain later about what I see going on with out politic, however as I have been deem too unfit to vote, I am told I have no right to discuss such things. HA! Therein lay the muzzle to those who find themselves exempt to such COMPULSORY laws -

Arr yes my wife and the "extra" responsibility - will soon be TWENTY FIVE YEARS we have been through think and thin. I do bit my for her as well. I am please she also REJECTS main stream thinking. We aim not to fight each other over such BS claims of who's role is what, who wares said pants and weather we said the script for the day before bidding one another as the telly teaches couples to be. No of that OBEY SHIT - kids last - regimented living - bright colors, picket fence, bills, life insurance, who is doing what compared to the other, measure our effeciancy based on status and comparisons -

My wife is still with me because she wants to be - not because she finds it tiresome to leave - If she chooses to field phone calls and talks for me, she does so knowing I am still the man she loved so long ago. Long term relationships don't last long on the BS goosebumps they feed the masses. My wife and I are in this shit together - it's tough, but we know well not to blame the other. I adore my wife - I know how much she has had to put up with me, obviously there must be something about me she likes - We pretty much agree and hold ranks in a sinking world - typically I am a positive guy amongst all the oppression and reactive flightiness. We have done well, with what we have - and will continue to surprise those who despise us so - Indeed such is our perspective - fighting the fight together whilst also learning to accept together has been quite a unity that no superfisicaly flag or nationalistic attitude and religious dog mongering and political indoctrination could ever hope to beat. Our passion runs deep with standing against such things - Indeed - my wife is a smart cooking and I aim to please - All else can go to shit whilst people continue on their current paths. People don't't know what real commitment is. This day and age - it's all about themselves and only then when "happy" can the spare time to see. GGGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
__________________________________________________ ______________

What's going on in this country - OK - I give you my run down on that a little later - involves CHURCHES and POLITICS so is quite a sick puddle of crap to sift through - also people that like their accumulated wealth and strive to take great PRIDE in all they have done and wish to attain will be sickened and see such as pure pessimistic garbage from yet another peasant crying of what he does not have. Pfffffft

To begin with is this new LAW where two or more are gathered that are considered a threat against "GOD and the CROWN" can now be arrested at will and face up to 25 years jail. The have targeted Bikies, but what the sheep do not know or refuse to believe is just how much of a NAZI regime is beginning to form.

The new Liberal GOD bothering religiously and prosperity seekers plus all the sheep that either do or do not know be under their wing, are implementing massive changes on par with the American Domination way of living and fuck all else that adds weight - nothing that I could really explain as it's time for me to clean and walk -

I wish you peace as it can be found within - I now switch of to all the BS and go please my darling wife as is my wish - :)

Back later - thanks for your questions. I have much more sifting to do.
Please Be well.

[Ponder]

OK enough of the thinking -

Hows the report off the meds:

So far so good - I am sleeping through the night.
I think the exercising is helping with that.

I am sweating some, but unsure if its the heat combined with all exercise and healthy eating. Certainly some massive changes all going on. I have been drinking a lot of water tonight, so maybe that's it.

I think I am nearly done with all the bitching of things I have no control over - long way to go with setting things right, however - if I can keep up the other coping techniques for a few weeks, I think I can find some constant with presence in that. I know triggers will come - that's the hard thing when dealing with life "straight" -

It really is so sad, the emphasis placed on meds as a means to an end - so much so, that natural and instinctual methods are not encouraged and in most cases disregarded as a means to cope. Take the Meds or else your cured! - pretty much a cop out and sentence all in one - The guys off his meds, cuff him Danno! But that's the way life is -

So far so good - I'm slowly starting to breath again. Not quite there - but I know it will come.

Until next report - ;)

[Ponder]

What freedom it is to be exercising without the niggling thoughts of pissing in the wind!
Yet another day off the meds and I'm feeling much better than when I was on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sure I could explode in public, but saving it for when it matters! In the mean time, I'm feeling revved up and looking forward to my next exercise session.

OH YEA -------------- I am sleeping well too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing negative to report a this stage .... srry about that .................................................. .................... LOL it's not mania today - its just energy - Sighhhh good to be breathing again. Imagine that - living without Meds - I'll be ............ omg ......... perhaps it can be done. hmmmmmmmmmmm Dare it be said? Oh yea - I'm still not right in the Head - but that's OK Too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not my problem - I leave that with you. ;)

[Ponder]

Thanks Frankie. I acknowledge that perhaps my gain, may be overshadow someone else or possibly cause conflict within their own thought. I mean nt to imply anything of you or others, however it's been on my mind Frankie. I am sensitive to the effect of my efforts, so say to others it's early days yet - and the thing is, that If I indeed get on top of my body with exercise I have a long history of burning out! As is the ups and downs for me - therefore as I am sure you can appreciate, its not as simply as simply stopping to take my meds and nor is it a case of waiting for better days to come.

More so on that point - with acting now as I have done - I was obviously reaching a point in which although the meds did a good job, they have taken my physically to the brink as which I first came to take to be prescribed. I'm just meaning - if the meds are working for others, then that is great - why change them if people are happy with where they are at.

None the less - I need to drive myself and express with whatever momentum I am using - more so - Producing - Makes me a little dis heartened to think of how some of us more naturally driven ones or all of us for that matter, that when we tap such momentum and ride with it, how - well for me at least, I come to see it as a bad thing, yet in realty - I feel ok despite the coming down, in fact the only coming down I see is when I give in to societies way of think ng - thus manic I shall remain in their eyes - but for me I will do my best to be as purposeful as I can endure whilst be ............

It's such a shame we have to prove ourselves in all that we do in such a success seeking world. I reject the notion so that I can just be myself. I understand the term - but like many words, it has lost its meaning and remains nothing more than a misguided signpost.

Thank you very much for popping into this post. I appreciate very much.
Dave :)

[Ponder]

Sorry Frankie -

Very suicidal last night -

Police call out - more a behavioural pattern of my family picking up the phone -

No charges - but they don't't understand how much of a trigger that is for me. (or they do yet resort to it none the less)

It is the ease at which people act - over nothing really - It's yet just another fact.

Pffft to others who think it's easy living without meds

I was very very close to pure intent - its such a terrible thing to think of such things-

I have hardly slept.

I come back and read your encouragement more when I am able -

I am just logging thing one in - as yet another day without meds!

To think - just as with my exercise - this is what it's like to face others - scratch that --------> Just because people are not on Meds does not mean they are not suffering and nor does it mean that they can not cope.

Went for walk - made some posts - now have to live the day out as best I can.

Again - sorry to come in with out much acknowledgement on your response. I assure you that I will do so as soon as I can find my life energy later in the day. Currently being sapped and doing my best to keep my activity going.

[Ponder]

I read now frankie and admire you very much.

Frankie - do you write Poetry? I think you would be good.