Another night of anxiety

[Moralfe]

Do not know where else to turn. Last night it was really bad. I was shaking and felt like I wanted to run. I was able to control it after talking to my wife a bit and drinking a blend of teas. Tonight it is the same. Not much of the shakey but the feeling to run and cry are there. My HR is elevelated and it is freaking me out. Ever since my first panic attack I have been affraid of heart issues and my heart rate. I had many test run for my heart and it all turned out good. My heart is fine. I also thought my panic attack was worse so I began to loose weight and eat better so since March of this year I have lost 80 pounds. I know I am healthy but my minds sometimes takes over and I it is very hard to stop. I do my cbt exercises but because I am a little panicky I do not want to wait. I want instant relief. I also am a bit sick. Clogged nose, some coughing and my throat hurts. I think this has to do with my anxiety a bit. Well I think I know what my trigger was. Yesterday on my company's intranet site an article about a regional president passing at the age of 45 really freaked me out. The what if thoughts began and since then I cannot shake it off. I am usually really good with being able to control and rationalize the situation and correct the thought and try to remove the emotion but this one has been the worse one yet. I am always concerned about my heart and heart rate even though I tell myself I am fine. The illogical thoughts just hit me full force. I am so tired now. I am going for a drive with my wife now but if there is anyone with encouraging words or advice or similar experiences please reply.

Thank you

[JLBnole68]

Hey Moralfe, so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I'm in the same boat at the moment, so I completely sympathize. It's 4:00 am as I type this. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. I've been dealing with sinus infection and respiratory issues for about 2 months now. I've been to the doc 3 times, on all sorts of meds. It seems to get better then keeps roaring back with congestion, head pressure, sore throat, coughing...all that fun stuff. As this has dragged on, my anxiety has ramped up, too. I suspect that being sick at the moment is probably fueling your anxiety as well. Last weekend, I had the same sensation of just wanting to run and cry, and actually did break down sobbing uncontrollably last Friday. It was awful, but after I got it under control, I just got friends and family members to give me some assurance that everything was going to be ok. I forced myself to get up, take a hot shower, and I distracted myself by staying busy, keeping my mind occupied. It helped tremendously. Some of the things I do when the anxiety wells up...start reading a good, relaxing book. Put on some soothing jazz music or something very relaxing to keep my mind occupied. Or I find something to do around the house and try to give it my full attention. You have to remember that your heart has been checked out and everything is just fine. The elevated heart rate (if indeed it really is elevated), is nothing more than the adrenaline being produced from the anxious thoughts and worry. You've just got to keep reminding yourself of that. You are in no harm. You are healthy. You are safe. You are being loved and cared for by your wife. Maybe try some muscle tension/relaxation exercises. There are some guided ones on sites like YouTube that can really help you relax and get your mind off the worry. At night, try sitting in a warm bath and just relaxing, maybe with some candles and soft music. I keep a fan running just for a soothing background noise. That seems to really help keep my mind from racing through negative thoughts so much or coming up with "what ifs". After you've been sick or anxious a while, sometimes you forget what it's like to feel healthy, happy and well. Just gotta keep reminding yourself that this is just a little bump in the road. It's temporary. You'll heal soon. Everything is fine and recovery will come soon. You have to keep repeating and telling yourself those things that are true. Anxiety is just a bunch of lies being fed to your body by your brain. Not sure if you are on an anti-anxiety meds. If not, you might benefit greatly from them to help keep you calm. I take Lexapro, but when things get really dicey, I'll take half a Xanax to calm my nerves. It makes me sleepy, too, which is a good thing. Your body needs rest, so try not to fight it. That's what I'm trying to do right now, even just by typing this response. It's helping me refocus and winding me down to hopefully fall asleep. Take comfort in knowing the doc found nothing wrong with your heart. You've lost a lot of weight and gotten yourself in much better shape. Be happy and take pride in your accomplishments. Trust me. I've been through all the heart testing, too. If anything at all was wrong, they would have found it. You're all good, so believe it because it's true. Those tests and the monitoring that takes place are pretty darn accurate. Finally, I'd say the guy you read about who passed at age 45 is an extreme exception and not the rule. It's important to remember that. Try not to let negative stories get to you. I've distanced myself from as many negative stories and things that induce anxiety as much as possible. It really helps. Be well, take care of that clogged nose and sore throat and stop worrying over your heart rate. It will come down when you rest, relax and stop torturing your mind and body with counterproductive thoughts. Hope you feel better soon. Find joy and peace. Keep us posted how you're doing. Lots of great people on here who understand and can lend support and comfort. Take care. -Jeff