Coping with Intrusive thoughts? Need Advice.

[Anxious Abi]

Today I seem to be having a bad day, I can't stop my mind coming up with these intrusive thoughts, twisting everything. I feel like i'm going insane, why can't I make these thought's go away? I start counteracting them, trying to push them away, they push back harder, making me doubt everything I thought about myself. I try my best to remember what I went over in my last CBT session, I know i'm not supposed to argue with the thoughts or push them away, but they're just so upsetting I don't want them anywhere near my mind, I just want them to stop. I manage to distract myself for ten minutes and then something else triggers another intrusive thought and before I know it, i'm stuck in my mind going round in circles with myself.
Does anybody have any coping strategies for when intrusive thoughts take over? Nothing i'm doing seems to be working today.
Would be much appreciated.

[jessed03]

What kind do you have?

[Anxious Abi]

They often seem to change focus, but mostly, about being a bad person, having improper thoughts, sexual, violent. It's like I get stuck on the notion that all my thoughts are abnormal.

[jessed03]

Ah ok, so a mix. I had mainly violent ones. Some sexual too. And then loads of stupid thrown in.

What do you do when they strike? Do you just try and block them out and fight them, or do you try and find reassurance for them, and ruminate?

[Enduronman]

13...YOU SUCK!

Hi Abi!!

It's Mr. TAH (E-Man)...:)

[Anxious Abi]

A bit of both, sometimes i'm more like. "No, no, no, just go away!" and then I start reciting a nursery rhyme to try and focus my mind. Other times, I end up trying to reassure myself, that the thought's don't make me a bad person, that just because that thought is in my mind doesn't mean I will ever act on it. I'm finding it hard to implement the techniques my therapist outlined in CBT. As far as I can gather, i'm not supposed to push it away, recite, or reassure myself, I don't know what else I can do.

[Anxious Abi]

Heyy E-Man! How you doing?

[ViolettaValery]

My therapist told me once that all people occasionally have these weird, intrusive thoughts. The difference is that most people are able to brush them off with a, "Huh, that's weird!" and move on. And those of us with anxiety will cling to them and obsess that they SAY something about us.

I find that really sitting down and examining them can help. As a previous counselor told me, "Follow it through to its logical conclusion." I know you don't WANT to ... you want to shove them away and pretend they don't exist. But try to take a close look at at least one of them and say to yourself, "What would happen if I really did that?" Usually the answer will make it obvious how very very unlikely you are to do any of it.

[jessed03]

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?14840-Exit-Strategy-(it-s-a-long-n)/page2&highlight=Duck+daffy

I wrote a long post about it here to somebody else about my suffering and overcoming of this problem that drove me to a suicide attempt. Follow the link if you wanna read.

[Anxious Abi]

Thank you jessed03, amazing post, I can really relate to the whole thread but i'm very appreciative of your perspective. Hopefully I can take it on board and come at these thoughts a different way in future.

[jessed03]

Saw that you were online, how are you doing, Abz? :)

[Anxious Abi]

Hey, i'm doing alright, still battling with the intrusive thoughts, trying to practice seeing through them, keeping myself busy.
I keep attempting to make fun of them, following them through to the worst scenario, I am an evil dangerous psychopath. I'm slowly starting to realize that no matter what I think it doesn't actually change who I am. It still hard sometimes though.
Thanks for asking, how're you?

[jessed03]

Thats a good sign :) at least you aren't freaking out massively that they're true! That's when it's hard to get out of.

I like how you've realized the thoughts don't make you who you are. It's very true. Where these thoughts come from, and the area of the brain used when committing the atrocities we get scared of, are incompatible together. Meaning as you have had these thoughts, it's more or less impossible to actually live them out. They are in conflicting sides of the mind that will never ever meet in order to be able to combine and make the thought a reality. Infact, given the mind is of infinite space, you're closer to the edge of the universe than you are to ever following these through.

Kinda crazy huh!

I'm doing pretty well anyway. Had a bit of insomnia these last couple of days!

How's the weather on the English coast? The pics I've seen on TV look frighting! :)

[Anxious Abi]

I remember when they first started, and for a long time, I felt that these thoughts meant I was a truly horrible person, it literally broke my sense of self. I was always the caring one, the sensitive shy girl that loved animals and adored children, hated everything I perceived as 'wrong'. Suddenly I was picturing everything I feared and yeah... you've been there I don't need to go on. But the point when I had to confront it all. Am I? Is the hardest question, when I really wanted to end it. Do I want to do those things, I still have trouble going down that path. Anyway, I don't want to over talk, I will get there, I think i'm getting better at not reacting to them when they taunt me, it's not real it's just anxiety messing with my brain.
Onto a lighter subject, the weather actually isn't so bad where I am. Miserable and blustery, if that's a word, but we haven't been flooded or anything yet, it was worse before Christmas, we had a bit of flooding then.

[jessed03]

You know life's not going fun when you say onto a lighter subject: how about that terrible weather and flooding we're having :)

Blustery. Now you have me questioning! Sounds like a word. I can hear the weather guy saying it in my head.

Are you south coast? The waves look menacing.

Do you have a family, is it that what worsens the intrusive thoughts, or are you still just young kinda doing your own thing and just got caught out like I was?

[Anxious Abi]

I'm east coast, I don't think it's too bad here. I've seen the news though, it looks bad in some places.

I don't have a family of my own, I was 21 working at a Children's nursery when it started 2 and a half years ago. It all seemed to snowball after an incident with my niece.

[Anxious Abi]

I've been plagued by 'bad' thoughts over the past few days, none of them make sense, just random snippets that unsettle and scare me. I'm trying my best not to sit there wishing them away, I know that wont work. I feel so abnormal, my thoughts feel abnormal, I don't know what to do with myself.
I worry that everything I do is making it worse, questioning everything all the time. I feel really confused, it's hard to hold onto what is real, I'm not sure I know the difference sometimes.
I keep trying to tell myself, I'm alright, I just don't feel so good right now, it will pass, but I know the next day I will experience more of the same.
I wish I could focus my mind on what I choose to. Clear all the thoughts away.

[em1]

Oh god them a
Dam I intrusive thoughts grrrrrr I get them
To,your not alone if ever you need to chat I'm here,your not going mad at all your not going to turn into a raging psychopath tho I know it's as scary as hell and all you do is read on it as you want that 100% reassurance,but that's how you know it's normal to have these thoughts as a raging psychopath thinks they are normal and don't get scared of them,I've been reading a good book on bad thoughts that may help you it's called the imp of the mind

[GeneAllen]

My therapist told me once that all people occasionally have these weird, intrusive thoughts. The difference is that most people are able to brush them off with a, "Huh, that's weird!" and move on. And those of us with anxiety will cling to them and obsess that they SAY something about us.

I find that really sitting down and examining them can help. As a previous counselor told me, "Follow it through to its logical conclusion." I know you don't WANT to ... you want to shove them away and pretend they don't exist. But try to take a close look at at least one of them and say to yourself, "What would happen if I really did that?" Usually the answer will make it obvious how very very unlikely you are to do any of it.

This is the best advice I think. If you don't follow them through, and quit fighting them there is NO getting past them. Your thoughts are NOT you. I find this a great reminder for me as well. I have had all of this. I found these thoughts always existed, but when anxiety is introduced into the equation they are magnified (seem more intense and real). I remember they never "stuck" when not anxious, only when anxious, until I looked at them and went through the process. Then poof no more power for the thoughts, they became impotent. Peace

[jessed03]

Sorry to hear you're going through a spike Abz. They're as annoying as anything on earth sometimes. Despite doing the right things, they can stick around for quite some time until they finally begin to become less frequent.

I hope you manage to have a pretty good Sunday despite them.

[Anxious Abi]

Thank you em1, it helps to be reminded that i'm not alone struggling with this. I will have a look at the book you've recommended.

I think you're right GeneAllen. I keep trying to follow them through, push through the fear, it is extremely difficult sometimes but I will carry on trying.

Thanks jessed03, :) I will try my best to have a good day. I'm trying to distract myself, making a baked potato and cleaning the kitchen as I wait for it to bake.

Trying my best to focus on what I'm doing rather than what I'm thinking.

I know I say it all the time, but I really appreciate you guys taking the time to respond. It's the closest thing I can get to someone giving me a reassuring hug and telling me everything will be OK.

Best wishes, hope you're all having a good day.

[GeneAllen]

It is very difficult. Going through may feel heavy, but you're about to beat this so I encourage you to follow them through, You're not going to lose this battle. You're about to find

you're not those thoughts. You're not crazy. Be good to yourself, and yes you are being mindful, thinking only about what you're doing. The heaviness will fade, joy will return.

You are calm, kind, clear and loving. Peace

[em1]

We are all in this together.you are so not alone,they will get better they just take time to sod off

[GeneAllen]

We are all in this together.you are so not alone,they will get better they just take time to sod off
Em what does sod mean? LOL Sorry but I don't know that expression. Peace:)

[em1]

Em what does sod mean? LOL Sorry but I don't know that expression. Peace:)

That made me laugh hahaha sod off means to go away,sorry that's my London slag :)

[GeneAllen]

No problem, I be fixin to enjoy the day, y'all know what I mean. I'm as nervous as a cat shittin razorblades, but I'll be fine as frog hair spilt three ways when I get to my destination.

LOL That's a bit of my hillbilly slang:D When I get back home if my grout is actin up I'll get in the gazzuzi. Peace

[ashly1221]

I relate a lot to your post Abi. I don't really have a lot of ideas or tips as it is all new to me and I just started seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist this fall. It's really comforting to read that so many other people have dealt with this and good to know I'm not going nuts! Right now in therapy we are working on breathing and meditation. She recommended I bought a book called -A mindfulness based stress reduction work book- and it teaches about meditating and yoga and mindfulness. I just bought it on Monday and am working on the first part but it seems to help. There are a lot of books that help people with anxiety. It's just finding the right one for what you need! One thing I do when I'm feeling really anxious and restless is I will look on youtube at funny animal videos, it's a great mood booster! Or watch Buddha videos. There are a lot of them that talk about anxiety and obsessive thoughts ect. Hope you're feeling better soon !! x

[janey]

You can't get rid of them by pushing them away. Your mind will file it away to remember again. It's not really about pushing them away or accepting them. Even refuting them and arguing with yourself can cause more doubt. It's just about not being bothered by them (which is really hard to do). Any little tiny thing can be a trigger because of association.

Just know that they're not true. It's just obsession over ideas. The ideas are not true and you have nothing to do with them. They're just thoughts. Try to be neutral to them.

I had intrusive thoughts pretty damn bad. No matter what I did, they'd be triggered by the most outlandish thing that I could somehow 'relate' to my obsession. I would argue and argue inside of my head trying to 'prove' to myself that they weren't true. I'd test myself all day, assessing how I felt when I thought about the ideas. We all know that's not an accurate way to get to the bottom of things.

After a while I just started getting really tired of them because of how much of a mental drain they'd cause. I'd end up saying things to myself like 'What the fuck ever, thoughts, I don't care anymore. True or false. I don't fucking care, just leave me alone.' I started to become more and more neutral towards them and now I rarely have them. When I do, it only takes a tiny bit of reassurance to make me okay again.

Intrusive thoughts are the absolute worst symptom of anxiety, especially if you test and obsess like I did. You just have to let it go. It's not something you can do overnight, but it's completely possible.

[Anxious Abi]

You can't get rid of them by pushing them away. Your mind will file it away to remember again. It's not really about pushing them away or accepting them. Even refuting them and arguing with yourself can cause more doubt. It's just about not being bothered by them (which is really hard to do). Any little tiny thing can be a trigger because of association.

Just know that they're not true. It's just obsession over ideas. The ideas are not true and you have nothing to do with them. They're just thoughts. Try to be neutral to them.

I had intrusive thoughts pretty damn bad. No matter what I did, they'd be triggered by the most outlandish thing that I could somehow 'relate' to my obsession. I would argue and argue inside of my head trying to 'prove' to myself that they weren't true. I'd test myself all day, assessing how I felt when I thought about the ideas. We all know that's not an accurate way to get to the bottom of things.

After a while I just started getting really tired of them because of how much of a mental drain they'd cause. I'd end up saying things to myself like 'What the fuck ever, thoughts, I don't care anymore. True or false. I don't fucking care, just leave me alone.' I started to become more and more neutral towards them and now I rarely have them. When I do, it only takes a tiny bit of reassurance to make me okay again.

Intrusive thoughts are the absolute worst symptom of anxiety, especially if you test and obsess like I did. You just have to let it go. It's not something you can do overnight, but it's completely possible.

I totally missed this post, i'm sorry for the delayed response.. I think I understand, I do tend to test and obsess a lot and completely agree, it's the worst anxiety has offered me. I practice being neutral like you say, some days I manage to get through paying them little attention, on the whole I think they're getting easier to let go. I think it's on days when I am feeling off in some way, it's almost like my mind just reverts back and everywhere I look my mind just keeps going back there, before I know it I'm obsessing to the point of ripping my skin to shreds.
Thank you for sharing, it gives me hope that it gets easier with time.