Great..

[AmberGbenga]

My heaven sent partner got cranky at me yesterday.. He said he is over the negativity.. MY NEGATIVITY.. Fuck.. Panic hit my like a bag of shit.. Is he gonna leave me like my ex because I'm broken... Well no, he isn't. He is stuck with me, his words. But it made me feel like shit.. He has been amazing so patient blah blah I thought I was doing good but apparently not.. I'm negative nancy.. This is a terrible thing!! He is tired of Wong the strong one I guess.. Always dealing with my shit and his.. I'm just a sooky lala and want to be with him but now he isn't able to be here for Christmas an I don't know when ill see him again.. I'm pulling my hair out! Actually.. No it's fallinnout... MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT! In clumps just suicide hair all over the joint, and cold sores and just Wahh.. Stess all up in here.. Why can't I just fart rainbows..

[AmberGbenga]

Sorry I am stuck with him** was his words..

[worriedmummy85]

I think most partners get cranky at us a lot if the time and we take it all too heart because of the way we are feeling I am sure he is jut having a bad day himself which has stressed you out my boyfriend stresses me out its the object of not quite understanding I think

Just on Friday we were at my partners dads putting his Xmas tree up when my boyfriend pointed out my lips were going blue, worst thing ever to say to someone with health anxiety then his dad thought it was hilairious to say that's something to do with your heart and laughed (wasn't all that funny) so I suffered with my mind going mental for 3 hours before I said to him I am sorry we have to go I need to get checked out!

Well he took a little hissy fit because we had to leave, I don't think he quite realised he done that to me like I say it's just the fact they don't quite understand fully how stressful saying certain stuff can be

[AmberGbenga]

my partner get it, he has anxiety and PTSD himself.. He was probably having a bad day as you said... It just made me think like.. Maybe I am being very negative.. That won't help anything.. Just worried to too that I might loose him, but he reassured me and he appologized shortly after loosing his temper.. So all Is good.. Just trying to be positive.. Its hard in our situation though.. I just want to be with him :(

[jessed03]

I guess he's just as frustrated he can't come for Christmas too. That must be annoying him a bit. He must be wishing the same as you, that you could just be together, and not have to let distance, and.the anxiety bullshit get in the way :-/...

Life's so frustrating at times.

My gf was so sweet, so patient, so kind, but even she said some hurtful, and stupid things. Going through anxiety in a relationship is one of the toughest things people can go through, I swear. If a couple makes it out of the other side, they are pretty freakin' strong and it's a good sign for their future!!

[AmberGbenga]

Very true Jesse, just my whole situation.. It scaresthe shit out of me and makes me so depressed.. Some days are better than others ofcource... But the hope of seeing him next week.. Just kept me going.. Had me motivated and i felt I'd be okay.. But now it's even torn from me.. I don't know how to deal with it.. I'm furious..

[worriedmummy85]

Oh sorry I didn't realise he had anxiety too you were prob thinking shut the f**k up haha

We all had bad days I have had a bad week and I think my boyfriend is pretty sick, you still have seeing him another time to look forward too and it will be just as exciting plus you have all us to chat to on the run up to Xmas ( not sure that's a good thing tho) haha

Chin up Hun

[jessed03]

It was a tough break - no doubt. Life seems to throw a lot of curveballs at you when you have anxiety.

When do you see him next?

I can even see how it's affected your mood on here. Far less Bahahahshaha's lately :)

[AmberGbenga]

Oh I'm just a hot mess at the moment.. All I want to do is work.. That's it.. I hate days off. I'm hoping ill be able to see him before I move there.. Will make it more bearable.. But I plan to move there may. But I need to find a job there, apply for a work visa, save money to move, pay off all my debts here.. Uh so steessful!! Plus the thought that the next time I see him ill have to go on another airplane.. The thing that bought on my first really big panic attack.. Makes shit so much worse.. I'm dreading it, yet I wish it was time.. I have a doc app tomorrow and a phyc sesh on Thursday.. Hopefully these will help a little.. I'm just so lost right now.. I just want to be with mike.. I would have LOVED him here.. God it would be so good.. To be relaxed.. With my family and my boyfriend.. I don't have to be without one.. It was just so amazing to imagine... And now it's just torn away.. I'm trying to fix myself.. Help myself.. But it's hard :(

[jessed03]

Yeah, it's better to keep busy when you feel shit. That time doing nothing just let's the brain go on overdrive. I never understood why those depressed housewives used to clean for 10hours a day, but since having anxiety and stuff, I get it completely!

Trying to move to be in my gfs country gave me a nervous breakdown. I had anxiety before it, but trying to make the move happen, actually sent me over an edge (think shaking and rocking in a corner, huddled up, eyes wide open). Just tryna do stuff like visas, finding a job, paying off credit card, sorting travel, leaving people, meeting new friends, healthcare, insurance etc etc etc... It shredded my nerves to the bone.

I'm not tryna discourage you lol. If I could give you some advice, it would be don't look down. Take one thing at a time. Little by little. Don't sit and think of the big picture, and all the things you have to do, or all the things that could go wrong. It will send your anxiety sky high. I used to lie awake at night thinking everything over, getting really tense and anxious. It made me sick. I wish I would have just chipped away at things, little by little, one thing and then another, until I'd made it. But I was so desperate to do it. I started to rush a bit, got very edgy.. It's like crack for anxiety man.

I hope your mood picks up soon Bengi

[jessed03]

I just handled stress so so fucking bad in the past. I'm pissed nobody could teach me to chill, or take me aside and say dude, breathe, it's alright. It's annoying I had to waste years of my life suffering and learning this shit that people grow up knowing.

Took me almost 10 years to learn how to relax man :p... Jesus!

[Enduronman]

oh nooooo...must have much coffee to process.
and get rid of head cogestion with multiple medications.
then re-read...Toad the Wet Sprocket is going ape shit.
I will return....:)

[AmberGbenga]

That's a good idea.. But I need to focus on multipul things as I only have 5-6 months -.- part time job, and alot of debt haha