Think I need help

[Pinkone]

This is a long post, sorry. I think I have social anxiety. I have recently been experiencing intense feelings of nervousness and uncontrollable blushing. I'll be talking to someone I know, or suddenly see someone when I'm out and start blushing. The fear of blushing has prevented me from going out to do things that I like. This type of thing has happened to me before when I was in my teens. I had a irrational fear of going out in public. I was sure that people were staring at me and judging me. The blushing thing happened to me for a while in my twenties then, went away. I've been fine for years (I'm in my late 30's), I even put myself in a position to do public speaking every month for two years. I was always nervous before speaking, shaking and such but no blushing. Eventually I got somewhat comfortable with the public speaking. I stopped doing that recently and now I am having these intense moments of nervousness and blushing. I know it's irrational but can't control it. I now have a fear of meeting someone's eyes, they judge me. I feel panicky when I'm forced to be social. I would describe myself as someone who often worries, has negative thoughts and obsesses over things. Sometimes I find myself unable to make simple decisions, waiting to do things until it's too late. That seems like depression to me. When I was younger I just assumed that I had depression. My father suffers from it, definitely. I don't drink much, or do drugs. I've never gone for counseling but probably should have before now. I have always felt that I had low self-esteem and depression. Adolescence and early adulthood were hell for me. Now as an adult I had attained a certain comfort with myself (I thought) and a certain amount of success. I feel like this condition is preventing me from being all that I could be. I'm depressed about this happening to me. My wonderful BF doesn't know about any of this, I'm too embarrassed to discuss it. I don't think that I can hide it much longer, it just makes the situation worse. Does anyone else out there have these symptoms, what should I do?

[louisrapisarda]

Dude, all you can do is deep breath 123, Stop thinking about what people are thinking about you. You have to take this is a postive way. After all your not the only person who suffers from anxiety. Just pretend that your the only one in the room talking too who ever. If we where all the same it would be so boring.
Im sure you can do it, no offence but man learnt to toughen up a bit.



Hope you are sucessful.
Your sincely Louis.
Pm me if you have any troubles as i have had this in the past.
Sign Off.

[trackstar]

Consider joining a cbt group. I just finished one and it will teach you skills to help you manage your anxiety and it only takes 16-weeks.

[kieranlord]

I would recommend speaking to your friends or family if you comfortable enough to do so. Try a self-help guide (CBT - Cognitive behaviour therapy), or speak with a local support group or your doctor for a CBT referral.

[trackstar]

Good advice. Cbt's TEA form exercise really helps.

[anx87]

i know exactly what you mean. I find that the only time this doesnt happen is when im with people im completley comfortable with for example best friends and family. i dont blush but i will be afraid to talk and i wont make eye contact.... i constantly think people are out to judge me and to get me... like make a fool out of me. I dont trust anyone because im afraid they will stab me in the back. your depression is part of this ... because i constantly think negative thoughts i get depressed, to the point i just stay in bed all day and cry. the CBT self help guides are really good, if you think you can manage this on your own. However its really nice for someone to put things in perspective once in a while ..."they were not looking at you because you were different, or you looked stupid, they just happend to be looking around and you caught there eye..." i used to think i was going crazy because i was convinced people were looking at me in work or out clubbing, then i realised... well i look at people too.... ! i found my councillor to really help me, now hes also referred me on to an 8 week course for me to learn how to take control of this. it all depends on how feel, try the CBT guide (dont buy get from ur local library) and see how it goes but if not just go to your doctors and they will help you ..... good luck but remember theres lots of people who have the same problem, it is hard but it gets easier!

[trackstar]

This is more good advice. CBT is really good stuff. If you do go to a counsellor for it I would recommend a 12 or 16 week course though if possible.