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View Full Version : Should I stay, or abandon it?



pinchme
01-31-2008, 02:01 PM
Hey all,
I'm new here so hi all!
I've had nerves and some form of anxiety my entire life. I worry alot and usually it is pretty under control, but certain events cause my anxiety to spiral out of control.
A year ago I met my current boyfriend, and he has pretty set expectations as to what he wants in his girl or future wife. I've really felt the pressure and I feel like I can't do anything right with him. I hurt alot. Then again I'm at the point where I can't tell if my anxiety is making me irrational (which I know it does sometimes) and skewing my perspectives. He makes me feel like I'm going crazy even though he has never said that or anything like that relating to my anxiety.

My anxiety has been as bad as it's ever been. This year has been very tumultuous and I'm sure it's because of how we work together as a couple. When we are good it's amazing, when "i do something wrong" i become paralyzed. So emotional. So worried. He was gone for a week and I felt better. The question is: should I just get rid of the root of my extreme anxiety (break up with him for my own well being even though we love each other alot) or work through it (stay together but see a counsellor/medication) because there will always be difficult situations in life and I need to know how to deal with them. Opinions?

This post may seem very obvious to some of you, but lately I've been feeling like I can't see/think clearly. I just need some advice. thanks

shaggy82
01-31-2008, 05:19 PM
First of all, its very difficult for someone on the "outside" to have a helping oppinion on things like this.
To me - the fact that you write it here, asking for our help, shows me that you rather want him out. But on the other hand, will you feel the same way with other boys? Its too hard for me personally to mean something. But i can maybe shed some light to your problem, and tell you that i have been in a simular thing.

In October i dated a girl who i really liked. We had good chemestry and i early told her about my anxiety (i was still having attacks then).
But she never understood me completely. She almost got mad at me for beein sick. And i felt pressure from her to not be sick. And you obviulsy know what happened - i got even more sick.
It came to a point that i didnt believe her anymore, and she didnt give me space to heal or to allow me and my anxiety. So i dumped her.
And - I felt great after. It took a big load of my shoulders to be only for me, and not this guy she wanted me to be.

But.. this is not the same as you are going through, so i dont want to answer. But maybe i helped anyway? Who knows:)