Totally self destructing

[bcarp66]

I've had a very bad few days. My stepdad's father had a massive stroke and we are just waiting for him to die. I wasn't close to him at all but I'm heartbroken for my stepdad and the idea of a stroke is sending my anxiety into outer space. I am building a huge reptile cabinet to keep myself busy but it's not enough. I can't get myself away from self destructing. I've had a 12 pack of shipyard and a huge bottle of Apple pie moonshine and thankfully I ran out of booze. But it's not enough to dull my anxiety and I'm freaking out. I have no good coping skills for huge events so I don't know what to do. I've drank too much booze to take my Ativan so I kind of screwed myself. I'm building like a man possessed but I can go fast enough to get away from my feelings. Please help.

[AmberGbenga]

I was in a similar situation except I had to get on a 10 hour flight and was in a massive panic attack that wouldn't go away. Take a break and have a nice hot shower, drink a cold glass of water, all I could do was deep breath and wath movies.. The anxiety was there but very minimal.. My father had died just days before I had to get on the flight and the funeral was the next day.. It's hard and I'm not sure booze was the answer but you can't go back now.. Just go with it, try to relax mate. Watch some tv maybe a funny movie, something that will play in your head because if your just building something your still stuck in your own thoughts.. So try have a shower, and have a glass of water or a cup of tea and watch some tv. Then try get some sleep... I hope it helps!

[ThousandMiles]

Remember that alcohol is a mood enhancer... whilst it might *feel* like you're numbing the anxiety and stress and negative feelings, you're really not. You're making them much worse, you're just also affecting your ability to notice/care. And that's not a good thing, because once that has past, you're left with just the enhanced feelings you were trying to escape from, AND a hangover :(
I know that just saying that doesn't help anything, but please keep it in mind before you drink to escape something, it will benefit you in the long run.

It's probably a good idea to talk to a psychologist or a counselor, or at least your GP, or go and see whoever you are currently seeing. I'm not sure about your situation, sorry ^^" But anyway, tell them as much as you can about how you're feeling, and they will be able to help you develop your coping skills without relying on alcohol or anything else which does more harm than good. There's no shame in it, so don't let self-conscious or scared feelings hold you back ^_^

In the meantime, distracting yourself with things like AmberGbenga suggested may help you somewhat. Sleeping, relaxing activities, and also getting fresh air and regular (but maybe not high intensity, if you're not feeling up to it) exercise are actually great. They don't sound it, but they can make a world of difference - having some faith in them making a difference also helps. But, maybe try and stay away from caffeine (it can make you feel more anxious, I know it has that effect on me D:), so that means green tea or herbal tea might be better than normal tea, or coffee.

Hope this helps you in some way ;w; Stay strong!