round and round

[mikecole114]

my head continues to take me round and round the same thoughts where a couple of weeks ago i had suicidal thoughts i have less now but still i hate every moment of being alone. now ive found not that my thoughts are suicidal but strangely enough that they wish i was feeling as bad as i did when i felt like that. there is some part of me that wants me to want to hurt myself and i dont get why. when im feeling down i swear i stay in that place as long as i can before i get over it. does anyone eles realise they do this and whats wrong with me am i a sadist or why do i keep tormenting my self with old problems and how i could have dealt with them. i wanna live now and in the future but all i think about is the past....... (funnily enough im doing a degree in history)

someone please help or give me advice

[anxious aussie]

I've experienced similar. But I also find myself purposely thinking of things that make me sad or angry and I don't know why. I can barely even explain it

[mikecole114]

I've experienced similar. But I also find myself purposely thinking of things that make me sad or angry and I don't know why. I can barely even explain it

Yeah that's what I mean all I wanna do is sleep not keep bringing up old problems in my stupid head

[Lee Grant Irons]

mikecole114,

I think it is pretty normal for us to torture ourselves repeatedly over things we could have done differently or problems we continue to have. However, if it is affecting your ability to function and you are tempted to do things you know you would not normally do, then you should see a psychiatrist.

Regarding advice, I would suggest your old problems are still current if they continue to bother you so much. You sound like me. I had so many unresolved problems with more seeming to add to my list weekly that I was overwhelmed. However, I was also mad enough at the lack of progress on any front at that point that I swore I was not going to let those problems defeat me. My biggest problem, however, was that my attempts at resolving these problems were ineffectual. You can read about my story on my blog (link in my signature).

The "sheltered bay in a sea of chaos" I mention is what I figured out about what was wrong with my approach to solving my problems. So, if you are willing, I would recommend an exercise. Write down all of your problems as short, one-sentence statements in the front of a fresh notebook. You might notice that you have some difficulty separatng some of the problems. However, I think it is important that you do separate them. It can help you see things more clearly later. In the rest of the notebook, give each problem about 5 pages of paper, writing each problem at the top of the page at the front of its 5 page section. For a given problem, write a goal statement below it about what you desire the outcome to be in resolving the problem. Then, below the goal statement for each problem, write down a brainstormed list of everything you need to accept that you can't change. These are things dealing with history, other people's decisions and actions, and the laws of nature. But word these acceptance statements within the context of the problem. Then, below each list of accepts, write a list of acknowledges. These are things you have learned already about the problem and your efforts at resolving it. It can also be general things that is common knowledge about human nature, worded within the context of the problem. Then, below the list of acknowledges, write a list of things you can start doing immediately toward achieving the goal, based upon the accepts and the acknowledges. I call these "negotiations." The key here is that this initial list of actions will not necessarily get you to your goal. You may not even be able to see how they would get you to your goal. All you need to feel is that they will help you learn more about your goal and achieving it. Through the process of negotiation, you will learn more things that you need to accept and acknowledge. So, when you feel the first list of negotiating actions has helped you accomplish as much as it can, then write down the second list of other things you have found you will need to accept and acknowledge. You will then be able to generate a second list of negotiations that you can start doing immediately. Through this iterative process, you will find yourself making headway on getting to your goal.

Keep in mind that you will be doing this for all of your noted problems. So you will not be able to work all of them at the same time. But you can work each separate problem as you have desire and time. The notebook will help you keep track of where you are on each of your problems.

There is more, but this will get you started.

[mikecole114]

mikecole114, I think it is pretty normal for us to torture ourselves repeatedly over things we could have done differently or problems we continue to have. However, if it is affecting your ability to function and you are tempted to do things you know you would not normally do, then you should see a psychiatrist. Regarding advice, I would suggest your old problems are still current if they continue to bother you so much. You sound like me. I had so many unresolved problems with more seeming to add to my list weekly that I was overwhelmed. However, I was also mad enough at the lack of progress on any front at that point that I swore I was not going to let those problems defeat me. My biggest problem, however, was that my attempts at resolving these problems were ineffectual. You can read about my story on my blog (link in my signature). The "sheltered bay in a sea of chaos" I mention is what I figured out about what was wrong with my approach to solving my problems. So, if you are willing, I would recommend an exercise. Write down all of your problems as short, one-sentence statements in the front of a fresh notebook. You might notice that you have some difficulty separatng some of the problems. However, I think it is important that you do separate them. It can help you see things more clearly later. In the rest of the notebook, give each problem about 5 pages of paper, writing each problem at the top of the page at the front of its 5 page section. For a given problem, write a goal statement below it about what you desire the outcome to be in resolving the problem. Then, below the goal statement for each problem, write down a brainstormed list of everything you need to accept that you can't change. These are things dealing with history, other people's decisions and actions, and the laws of nature. But word these acceptance statements within the context of the problem. Then, below each list of accepts, write a list of acknowledges. These are things you have learned already about the problem and your efforts at resolving it. It can also be general things that is common knowledge about human nature, worded within the context of the problem. Then, below the list of acknowledges, write a list of things you can start doing immediately toward achieving the goal, based upon the accepts and the acknowledges. I call these "negotiations." The key here is that this initial list of actions will not necessarily get you to your goal. You may not even be able to see how they would get you to your goal. All you need to feel is that they will help you learn more about your goal and achieving it. Through the process of negotiation, you will learn more things that you need to accept and acknowledge. So, when you feel the first list of negotiating actions has helped you accomplish as much as it can, then write down the second list of other things you have found you will need to accept and acknowledge. You will then be able to generate a second list of negotiations that you can start doing immediately. Through this iterative process, you will find yourself making headway on getting to your goal. Keep in mind that you will be doing this for all of your noted problems. So you will not be able to work all of them at the same time. But you can work each separate problem as you have desire and time. The notebook will help you keep track of where you are on each of your problems. There is more, but this will get you started.

That's really good advice and generally constructive for me and my problems I will defo take the time to do this. Thankyou and I will also read your blog an let you know

Thankyou