Has anyone suffered from suicidal thoughts becuase of there anxiety.

[marlena_dubbz]

Hi Guys, I don't mean to be so sad or annoying. I am just experiencing some pretty bad thoughts. I'm going through a lot with anxiety and it's causing me a lot of depressed feelings. Tonight has been torture and I don't know how to find hope and motivation to go on with life. Has anyone gone through this- and if so, how did you see the light?

[Lee Grant Irons]

marlena,

I hear you. I have been in a dark place where I came to understand why someone might not want to live anymore. I have gone to bed thinking to myself that it would be okay of I did not wake up.

But there is hope. There is always hope as long as you hang in there and don;t give up. After a while of dealing with this and not dying as a result, you might get mad enough to swear to yourself that you will never let this defeat you and you will defeat it. When you are at this point, there are some very specific things you can do to begin to feel like you are making progress.

Have you been consulting with a doctor yet? If so, what has the doctor determined?

[FlyAway]

Hey. I feel you. That is my everyday life. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression and with bouts of bulimia for years now. It sucks, it really does.
Unfortunately I'm not out of the woods yet. My doctor has me on Effexor, 37.5 mg three times a day, and 0.5 mg of Klonopin as needed. For some reason whenever my Effexor dose is upped I start out feeling so incredibly worthless and like I don't want to wake up. It's been really bad this time. Like really bad.
What makes it worse is that I'm a Christian. You think that would make it better, but everybody's answer is "Just pray about it" and nobody seems to believe that this is a problem. It's hard to talk to people because they don't know how to handle me and I am at a point where I cannot function on a social level. I can't see tomorrow. I want to be dead.
Right now, though, I'm determined to want to make it through. Even though I want to be dead. At one point I had goals and plans, and even though they are practically nonexistent anymore, I can still see them. I want to be able to have relationships without destroying them, and I don't want to hate myself anymore.
I find it really hard to talk about it in person, so therapy was definitely not working, but even though it sound silly I've decided to keep a journal of everything I'm going through. I need a place to write out my feelings and document whats going on. I've also started wearing bracelets with Bible verses on them, because, like I said, I'm a Christian. I keep hoping that one day I'll make it past this rough patch.
Another thing is, I wish people understood better. Quality time is so important to me, and because I'm so quick to write myself off and I suck at the whole friends thing, people tend to think I'm clingy. Maybe I am. But its because I need encouragement and I need people to prove to me that they care about me. It's really hard for them to understand.
Anyway, I know that this probably didn't help much, but I'm so sorry to hear about your bad thoughts :( I've been there too, in fact I'm there right now, and I totally understand.
Sometimes, for me anyway, its nice to know that people understand.

[marlena_dubbz]

I totally understand. I feel so alone because I don't like sharing my story to people and because people don't understand at all! They say "pray for better days" - just like you. Many people will just tell me to calm down and it will be okay. What they don't understand is that I have a disorder. I'm so sorry you are going through this- even though I don't know you- I will always be here for you. Sounds silly, but it's true. I don't want you to be alone.
I've been drinking a lot- A LOT and taking pills to try and cope with this. But nothing is working. I know my anxiety (about not being able to sleep) is causing me so much stress and depression. It's so easy to say- "hey just relax" - sorry people, but it's so hard.
i've been crying everyday and been deathly afraid of trying to sleep, bc I know it will cause me pain and frustration. I tried to go to the gym and working out, but I feel like I have no soul and I'm just a moving body.
I also need people. ALWAYS!. I hate being alone. Especially at night. It's the worst. As of right now- I can't seem to shake these- suicide feelings- feelings that I will be better off dead. I can't sleep and obsess over it. I already have it in my mind that I can't sleep.

I don't know how I will get through tonight.

[vonnhelsing]

Ive been through this time. It was end of 2011 and I would have never thought I would be where I am now. It was the most difficult time of my life. I wanted to die every single day for 2 whole years. But at the same time I was scared of dying. It was just awful.
Then it did go away. For almost a whole year. Unfortunately its back again now. Except now I am more knowledgeable. I am stronger and I know what is happening and I know I can get through this again. Each time anxiety strikes again I will be able to defeat it faster. Just accept that it will be the toughest battle you will ever fight. You are fighting yourself but the victor will always be you. The rational you.

[FlyAway]

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so nice to hear that somebody understands because the people in my life have no idea. It's so hard to try to explain to them that my irrational behavior is not because I'm moody and isn't something I choose to do. Night time is the worst for me too.

[Lee Grant Irons]

Night time is always worst for me.

Regarding sleep, what have you tried to help you sleep?

[Dahila]

For the last 30 years I hardly have a day without considering to end my life. I even had one serious try , about 25 years ago. It was a miracle I am alive. With anxiety it is normal. When the night come it comes. My advice is to force your brain to remember the time when you were happy. To go back to the moment. I helps. :)