PDA

View Full Version : Ouch!



manz82
11-28-2013, 12:22 PM
Hope you're all doing good!


Some of you guys may remember me writing on here a few months ago about my troubled relationship with my sister. You may also remember that I kind of got into the habit of relying on her to go places with me incase I panicked, which sucked big time as, and I'm quite ashamed to admit this, but I don't really like her! I know it sounds harsh, but if you knew her you would understand why.
Soooo, anyway, fast forward a couple of months and I'm doing a lot more on my own now, like driving a little bit further every day alone, going to the supermarket (all normal things but I couldn't do them a couple of months ago) and I was starting to feel as though there might be a light at the and of this very dark tunnel... Until yesterday(
I won't bore you all with the details, but me and my sister ended up having a blazing row and she said some nasty, cruel and spiteful things to me.
She said that I need to get a job and a life (she doesnt work, by the way. I worked my whole life until a couple of years ago when I started with anxiety), she said that she hates me and the whole family as they all put me first (they do not because I never ask them to!)
I asked her why couldn't we just get along, and I also pointed out that if the tables were turned and she was nervously ill I would help her every step of the way because she's my baby sister and that's just what I would do. Her reply was, 'I'm not stopping my life just because you're fucked.'
I haven't cried that much in a long time.
And now I'm simply angry. Ragingly, burning, angry. I cannot even tell you why she blew. I don't even see her that much anymore because I figured out a long time ago that she is basically not a nice person. The only thing I really thought I needed her for was the school run, as our children are in the same school and I really hate the busy playground. As it turns out, I didn't even need her for that, because I did it myself today, and even though I felt extremely nervous and slightly dizzy, I did it and my reward was a big hug from my beautiful boy.
Do any of you guys think I'm a bad person if I cut her out of my life? I really think I need to, but my family is very close-knit and I'm worried I will cause problems by doing this. I just don't want to be around her anymore.

mike98t
11-28-2013, 01:00 PM
I know it's hard but I cut all the negative forces in my life out. And yes that included some family members. And I am better for it

manz82
11-30-2013, 12:34 PM
My dad made me feel even lower when he said to me today, 'I don't believe in panic and anxiety - things scare everyone. Just stop being soft and get on with it.'
I honestly don't think I could feel anymore alone or insignificant than right now(

jessed03
11-30-2013, 01:27 PM
My dad made me feel even lower when he said to me today, 'I don't believe in panic and anxiety - things scare everyone. Just stop being soft and get on with it.'
I honestly don't think I could feel anymore alone or insignificant than right now(

That is not nice at all!

I agree with mike about removing all negative forms of energy. Sometimes it's hard to heal a wound when something keeps scratching at it!

Family are like sweet poison. They can hurt us. But we keep going back.

Only you can decide what to do with your family, but nobody would think anything less of you if you decided to 'take an indefinite break' from it all.

manz82
11-30-2013, 04:42 PM
That is not nice at all!

I agree with mike about removing all negative forms of energy. Sometimes it's hard to heal a wound when something keeps scratching at it!

Family are like sweet poison. They can hurt us. But we keep going back.

Only you can decide what to do with your family, but nobody would think anything less of you if you decided to 'take an indefinite break' from it all.

You're completely right! My sister has hurt me so many times but I kept going back. Especially the past few years when anxiety took a hold because I believed that I needed her to help me.
She actually beat me up a couple of years ago and my nephew had to drag her off me.
I really don't like her. I love her, but I don't like her.

NeverToo...Fear
12-01-2013, 11:15 AM
I find it hard to believe why your family would be so cruel to you...is there a reason or purpose to it? Like in a weird way they are trying to make you tough and shock you out of anxiety by doing what they do? Silly suggestion, I know, but different things work for different people.

It's probably because this is a problem they can't fix so easily. From their eyes, without understanding, they just see you as the over-acting, dramatic person who can't get over the fears......eventually when people feel they can't help you in that instant, they stop helping, cause at that point, they really don't know how to help.
It's not like a simple, save you from choking and move on to happier days thing. You are choking slowly and it's not obvious and since no one knows how to help, they get angry....... deep down, I'm sure your family cares... but frustration is the primary emotion showing.

Like what's been said, you can only decided how much interaction you should have with your family. I don't think it makes you a bad person if you decide to cut her out. Negative energy is bad and makes things worse for you, and it sounds like all you need to do at this point is focus on yourself.

manz82
12-01-2013, 12:05 PM
I don't think my Dad meant what he said in a nasty way. I think he really just doesn't understand what I'm going through. My mum suffered panic and anxiety when I was a child and she said he was very unsympathetic to her, too.
My sister is another matter entirely. I really do believe that she suffers from bad depression but is unwilling to accept that she is and in turn she lashes out at everybody she comes into contact with. She has no real friends, she constantly screams at her children and husband and she rarely has a good word to say about anybody.
It really is in my best interests to stay away from her.