PDA

View Full Version : Unable to travel due to panic attacks?



confused78
11-23-2013, 03:26 PM
Hi all,
I have found something really difficult in my relationship over the last 10 years.
The situation is now that my other half gets panic attacks along many local roads in my car and won't go on motorways at all. She will only go on A roads (single or dual carriageways) if she gets drunk first. She has resorted to drinking in order to go on holiday now and even do some local journeys. The drinking has at times been excessive as she desperately tries to block out the panic attacks.
The motorway issue seemed to occur about 4 years or so ago after we stopped at some motorway services.
Added complications include having to wait maybe 10 minutes or so before driving away and the issues are much worse after she has eaten. So for holiday journeys she has to just have light snacks, we can't eat at fast food places etc. on the way.
We can't go along a number of local roads now, having to take ridiculously long alternative routes and she has also developed a fear of bridges and tunnels. She won't go on a plane or boat either or a coach. She will go by bus or train but on a recent bus journey she panicked and had to jump off the bus.
Another way of dealing with going in the car is to listen to music through earpieces which doesn't make for much of an enjoyable journey for me either as I can't talk to her. She also can't go in other people's cars either, including family or friends or taxis. She needs to know that I will pull over if she ever needs me to, she needs to know she can stop at any time.
Originally she had OCD, she would need me to turn things off before going to bed and move things around. She would find it hard to leave shops or the house as she would have to move things around. She went and had CBT and took antidepressants for a while but then the OCD turned into panic attacks. The OCD is much less obvious as it was before.
I have many times been in the car with her and she has had the panic attacks which have included extreme cringing and convulsions, screaming and threats to jump out the car including opening the door whilst driving along.
I have requested she gets help from her local doctor but thought I'd ask on here if anyone has any ideas or similar experience?

trinidiva
11-23-2013, 05:12 PM
A lot of people have travel or drivibg phobias. Here's my advice. ...she needs to address it head on now because it will only get worse. When I first started experiencing anxiety, it started with getting dizzy spelks on the road. First, I avoided highways. Then local roads. Then I didn't want to drive anywhere. One day, I just decided that I wasn't going to let this take me over. I forced myself to drive. I expected that it would be uncomfortable and it was, at first. I felt that small accomplishments pushed me to go a little further. And I did! I drove the highway, staying in the slow lane, but I did it. The key is putting your mind to beat and fight this thing. She can definitely do it!

confused78
11-23-2013, 05:38 PM
Many thanks trinidiva, I've advised her of your comments. It's difficult I think for me to fully understand her situation as I've not had anything like that at all. I keep telling her she needs to push herself to overcome it and occasionally she does, she'll close her eyes and will have a tense moment as we go a route she previously couldn't go. Last week she preferred to walk home in the pouring rain, in darkness when it was freezing cold rather than drive the remaining mile or so home. I would be intrigued to know how she would be if she was able to drive, she suggests it would be different as she would be in control of the car. It seems to be that she's not in control of the situation. Her fear of going on a plane is that she is trapped and can't escape, she feels like she needs to escape or get away if she needs to or the car can stop at any time. For her to get used to a road I would drive really slowly along it (to the upset of other drivers sometimes) but then she would develop a fear of another road instead so the problem never seems to go away. Will keep pushing her to try and do the trips though and hopefully things might improve.

trinidiva
11-23-2013, 07:30 PM
Many thanks trinidiva, I've advised her of your comments. It's difficult I think for me to fully understand her situation as I've not had anything like that at all. I keep telling her she needs to push herself to overcome it and occasionally she does, she'll close her eyes and will have a tense moment as we go a route she previously couldn't go. Last week she preferred to walk home in the pouring rain, in darkness when it was freezing cold rather than drive the remaining mile or so home. I would be intrigued to know how she would be if she was able to drive, she suggests it would be different as she would be in control of the car. It seems to be that she's not in control of the situation. Her fear of going on a plane is that she is trapped and can't escape, she feels like she needs to escape or get away if she needs to or the car can stop at any time. For her to get used to a road I would drive really slowly along it (to the upset of other drivers sometimes) but then she would develop a fear of another road instead so the problem never seems to go away. Will keep pushing her to try and do the trips though and hopefully things might improve.

She HAS to keep doing it. ..no matter how uncomfortable she feels.....and it WILL be uncomfortable at first....but it won't kill her. Each time she gets through it, it will start to get a little easier each time. The more she avoids it, it only becomes more difficult. I have BEEN where she is now....I was even starting to get to the point where I was scared to be a passenger in the car....especially if my husband was driving on a highway. I had to push myself, but I got through it by not avoiding it. I KNOW she can do it........

vonnhelsing
11-24-2013, 09:26 AM
Can I just say what a terrific guy/girl you are for being there for your other half and being so understanding and caring. She is so blessed to have you through this difficult time.
I was with someone who, whenever id have a panic attack, would tell me to stop exaggerating and to stop making a scene. : p shit

AmberGbenga
12-04-2013, 02:47 AM
This was posted awhile ago but I thought I'd put in my 2 cents. I suffer with the same problem. I'm not afraid of traveling, I'm afraid of not being able to get away from the situation, or if I have an attack in this situation.. For example an airplane.. That's I'd a stressful place for sufferers like me. A week ago I had the biggest attack of my life at the airport coming home from visiting my partner, I had a 10.5 hour plane right ahead of me and everyone insisted I go to hospital, but I pushed through it and I'm extremely glad I did. I get attacks on buses and when I'm in the car with someone, sometimes even while I drive. She needs to push herself as hard as it is, I do all this pushing by myself, your girl is lucky to have you by her side. Keep being supportive, she will get there.. Insist she join this group, it's done wonders for me, and I'm sure it will for her too!! And if she needs to talk to someone with similar fears as her, you know where she can find me :)