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View Full Version : First post and just happen to be spiraling downward - need help



anxiousdad75
11-20-2013, 12:48 PM
So this is my first post and it is on a day I am really spiraling downward. I had my first panic attack in 1998 and was diagnosed with GAD and panic in 2001. I have been on most medications at one time or another and was just prescribed alprazolam again and carbamezapine for the first time. I am married with a great wife and 2 young kids.

Things were going great for the past year and a half or so, no real anxiety flare up and I thought I beat it. I let my weekly meetings with my therapist lapse as I finished grad school. Things were going well and I was busy.

Then all of the sudden I made a stupid mistake, drank too much one night with colleagues and got behind the wheel. Thankfully, I was arrested before injuring anyone else or myself. Cue anxiety and panic.

That process went on for a few months as I did everything I needed to do, paid the fines, took the classes etc - definitely a lesson learned, but my anxiety began to creep into my world again.

Started back with my therapist and things were going well for a few months - although I did have one ER visit for back and side pain they attributed to musculo-skeletal, did a full blood work up just to be sure. Then, at a business dinner I drop my cell phone in the trash and was poked by a needle. You can imagine my fear and worry. Went to the doctor immediately and they said that while the risk of anything is small, I should begin a 28-day regiment of this drug called Atripla. Atripla is an HIV medication, but they will give it to you within 72 hours of that type of exposure to help reduce the risk that you might contract it. All initial tests came back negative, but you can imagine my anxiety.

Atripla is a pretty serious 3 drug anti-viral cocktail that has some significant side effects including anxiety and depression. Deciding the trade-off was worth it I began the meds. Now I am well into my 3rd week and my anxiety hasn't been higher. I am fearful of having something seriously wrong with me - while I eat well and exercise I have lost 6-8 lbs without intending to. I don't sleep and sometimes wake up sweating.

It worries me because you are supposed to gain weight with this medication. I am now coupling that with my anxiety drugs and things seem to keep spiraling. I am depressed and can't engage with work or family. I went to my general doctor and he wasn't too concerned, but wants to do a follow up blood test in mid-December.

I am at a pretty low point and nothing seems to be working - the drugs, the therapy (although my therapist is great) - nothing. Trying to avoid going to the ER, but just can't stop my catastrophic thinking. And with all that, my birthday is this weekend. :( I am in that "I think I am dying spiral" and avoiding a lot of basic things.

Anyone have any recommendations, thoughts, advice? Thanks for the help.

tailspin
11-20-2013, 05:28 PM
Hey there, anxiousdad. Wow, I'm so sorry to hear all this. You are in a really tough situation to be sure. I can't even imagine having to take a course of drugs that is known to have anxiety and depression as side effects, when you already have depression and anxiety. And on top of that, having to worry about a serious disease. That all just blows. I am so sorry.

The good news is that you are almost done with the 28 day regimen, so that is definitely something very positive. Well done for sticking with the course. The end really is in sight now and hopefully you will notice a big improvement in your anxiety and depression levels once you are done with the Atripla. It's also good news that the initial tests you had came back negative. It sounds like you have done absolutely everything you can to protect yourself and I'm really hoping everything will be ok. I can imagine that your weight loss is 100% due to the stress of your situation, as opposed to being a sign of a serious illness. You really are going through something extremely anxiety-provoking. It actually sounds like you are handling it well, all things considered.

Personally I wouldn't hesitate to try another course of anti-depressants in addition to your anxiety meds. I don't know much about carbamezapine other than it's used to treat seizures and certain types of bi-polar, so I'm guessing it's a mood stabilizer? It's great you recovered from your anxiety previously. So the signs are very good that you will do again once you have weathered this storm. Your increased depression right now is almost certainly due to the Atripla and, as I say, hopefully that will diminish once you are off this drug which, thankfully, is happening soon.

Please keep us posted!! Thinking of you, anxiousdad, and hoping for much better times ahead.