What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

[tailspin]

Just wondering what other folks enjoy doing in their free time. I seem to have quite a lot of time on my hands and I'm not always good at filling it. Boredom and restlessness are difficult feelings for me and they sometimes feed my depression and anxiety. I know it's important for me to keep busy, but sometimes I have a hard time getting motivated.

I have my 4 beautiful dogs who take up quite a bit of my time. I spend at least 3 hours a day hiking with them, come rain or shine. I genuinely enjoy hiking. I also enjoy puttering around in my garden, but the seasons for doing that are definitely coming to an end.

I work part time at my husband's business, doing his book-keeping and managing his website, handling web sales and promotions etc. I could - and probably should - turn this into more of a full-time job, but lately I've been feeling uninspired and undisciplined (bad combination!)

I spend a lot of time online. Sometimes the internet feels like the most interesting place in the world and I love the limitless possibilities it represents. Equally, sometimes compulsively surfing the internet feels empty and futile, and like I'm looking for meaning in all the wrong places. I've never been someone with specific hobbies. My husband always seems to have several different projects on the go and he has a couple of hobbies which he is passionate about. Consequently, he is never bored.

I do well if I can get into something and I've had some success teaching myself things which I enjoyed and which felt good. But lately I'm at kind of a loose end again. I tended to do much better when I worked full-time. Yet, ironically, I often used to think how wonderful it would be to be my own boss and be able to have more free time to do what I want! (Ah, but the grass is always greener.....)

Now, not to be overly morbid, but I can see why some people die as soon as they retire. Even as I write this I can see quite clearly that the answer is staring me in the face. I need to become more engaged with work again. It has become increasingly obvious to me how much worse a lot of my mental health problems became when I stopped working full-time (I really enjoyed my job on the whole. And it made me feel good about myself. There's not much chance that I could get back into that field now, after so much time off, so the trick would be to find something else work-wise that feels good. But then, isn't that what everyone wants??!?)

Anyhow, leaving that aside for the time being, I was just wondering how other people here spend their free time and what you enjoy doing? Thanks for any feedback!

[NeverToo...Fear]

Boredom does NOT sit well with me either. I feel like I have to constantly be doing something. I actually enjoy being busy working all day even though I look forward to to end of the day to relax. And by relax I mean just doing some things I enjoy. I like to spend my free time knitting, reading, writing, (I love writing my unprofessional fiction) playing guitar (I'm far from expert!) cooking, exercising, listening to lots of music...I have a lot of odd hobbies so my free time is really divided up.. And some of my free time is obviously spent here at this forum^^

I do to like surfing the internet, but it ends up becoming a vacuum of time really, hah... I'm interested in a lot of things, so I find that to be a plus so I have a variety to choose from, but sometimes, like you've pointed out, there's no motivation to do anything. Some days, I feel like an cold start engine-- it's going to take a while to get in gear and feel enthused about something--which is why work is good. I don't have to think so much or really enjoy it. I just have to get up and go and keep on moving.

I think life works better when we are striving for something such as that day you can retire or looking forward to things like the weekend. It's all about working towards a goal. And once completed, hah, you better get a new one so you can strive for something else. That's not to say we should always be working, but we shouldn't have so much free time either...hah, I'm rambling a bit now, my point is that there might be a balance in there somewhere.

[Perses]

Hi Tailspin,

Is there a museum near you that you could volunteer for? My sister subscribes to a site called idealist.org which lists a gazillion opportunities for full, part-time, intern, or volunteer work at non-profits. Maybe you could see if there are any possibilities in your area.

Perses

[jessed03]

I like to cook. I wanted to be a chef, but gave up eating wheat, so I sort of abandoned that. I still make stuff for markets, and small food stores, which I enjoy. Mainly sauces, things like that. I've been told they're pretty tasty, so it keeps me doing it! :)

Something actually stood out to me in your post tailspin. Have you considered that maybe your depression isn't due to low serotonin so much, but rather low dopamine? I remember you saying you've tried a few meds, and they haven't helped massively, that could be why. Meds will only really help serotonin issues, and if low serotonin isn't your big issue now, it could explain why their affect has been limited.

I never really felt the low serotonin type of depression from you, I dunno, I just never connected with it from your writing. Then after reading this post, and reading you talking about your disorganization (I hope this term isn't offensive to you?) regarding direction and hobbies, it would add up. I had a similar problem regarding organization, and really deciding what I wanted to do. I tried treating it with serotonin, but it wasn't effective.

It became a case of not knowing what to do, not being able to do what I want, to not putting myself forward for stuff, to not enjoying the stuff I had put myself forward for, to me feeling bored, to me feeling anxious that life was kinda just passing, to me feeling unfulfilled, then back to me feeling depressed etc etc. it was kinda one of those things, whereby things weren't 'happening' or materializing in large quantities like I wanted. The changes were kinda small, and slow, and some I wasn't enthusiastic about etc... It was just this whole uninspiring period of my life.

Dopamine is the reward chemical, so when it's out of balance, all of your social and recreational goals become a little confusing and out of balance too. Your brain almost doesn't know where to turn to find fulfillment, pleasure, and enjoyment consistently, and you sort of end up in no mans land a little, wondering where to begin... It's all very much the opposite of a serotonin based depression, where one just seems to hurt, and believe they won't find comfort.

Of course, people like us, may have several chemicals out of sync, so it's not always an either or type of depression. Doctors seem to always focus on one though. Always serotonin. They never, ever, ever check for dopamine issues when treating depression, it's so rare that they do, yet is a massive cause of it for a lot of people.

Something to think/ read about perhaps, especially if you find yourself reaching out to small feel good activities kinda often, like eating something sweet, drinking coffee, alcohol etc. :)

[acetone]

I read neuroscience/psychiatry/pharmacology books. And surf the internet.

[jessed03]

I read neuroscience/psychiatry/pharmacology books. And surf the internet.

Can you recommend one you like? I find neuroscience really interesting too.

[tailspin]

Thank you so much everyone for these really helpful responses! I appreciate it a lot!!


Boredom does NOT sit well with me either. I feel like I have to constantly be doing something. I actually enjoy being busy working all day even though I look forward to to end of the day to relax. And by relax I mean just doing some things I enjoy. I like to spend my free time knitting, reading, writing, (I love writing my unprofessional fiction) playing guitar (I'm far from expert!) cooking, exercising, listening to lots of music...I have a lot of odd hobbies so my free time is really divided up.. And some of my free time is obviously spent here at this forum^^


It is AWESOME that you have so many interests, Crista! And I love that you write fiction! Thanks for understanding what it feels like not to be able to get motivated, but I'm really glad to hear that you have so many things you genuinely enjoy doing!


Hi Tailspin,

Is there a museum near you that you could volunteer for? My sister subscribes to a site called idealist.org which lists a gazillion opportunities for full, part-time, intern, or volunteer work at non-profits. Maybe you could see if there are any possibilities in your area.

Perses

Hi P! That is an excellent idea and I know I need to look into some kind of volunteering. As I say, at the moment, I'm just having a really hard time motivating myself to do anything. I know that sounds like an excuse. And I need to push myself more. Thank you for giving me an idea of where to start!




Something actually stood out to me in your post tailspin. Have you considered that maybe your depression isn't due to low serotonin so much, but rather low dopamine? I remember you saying you've tried a few meds, and they haven't helped massively, that could be why. Meds will only really help serotonin issues, and if low serotonin isn't your big issue now, it could explain why their affect has been limited.

I never really felt the low serotonin type of depression from you, I dunno, I just never connected with it from your writing. Then after reading this post, and reading you talking about your disorganization (I hope this term isn't offensive to you?) regarding direction and hobbies, it would add up. I had a similar problem regarding organization, and really deciding what I wanted to do. I tried treating it with serotonin, but it wasn't effective.

It became a case of not knowing what to do, not being able to do what I want, to not putting myself forward for stuff, to not enjoying the stuff I had put myself forward for, to me feeling bored, to me feeling anxious that life was kinda just passing, to me feeling unfulfilled, then back to me feeling depressed etc etc. it was kinda one of those things, whereby things weren't 'happening' or materializing in large quantities like I wanted. The changes were kinda small, and slow, and some I wasn't enthusiastic about etc... It was just this whole uninspiring period of my life.



Hi Jessed! Thanks as always for your insightful feedback! Awesome that you make tasty sauces for sale at markets and stores! It's always doubly rewarding if you can actually make money doing something you genuinely enjoy!

Thanks for giving me this important food for thought about dopamine levels. That no man's land you describe so well: I'm there!!! I did quite a bit of reading about dopamine levels this morning and I just emailed my psychiatrist. I'm not sure if there is a test that can be done to check these levels, but I've asked him. It seems the ADHD drugs Ritalin and Adderall are best at boosting dopamine. I had never considered these as depression treatments, but I've just read several positive testimonials online saying that adding Ritalin to a standard anti-depressant can make a huge difference to people's depression. Who knew?? I literally had no idea. So I asked my pdoc about that too.

Thanks so much for giving me this idea! And no, I'm not remotely offended at the term "disorganized" to describe my thinking. It fits me to a tee!!


I read neuroscience/psychiatry/pharmacology books. And surf the internet.

That's cool, acetone. I really like to educate myself about these things too.


The wife said to me the other day "Dont you have enough hobbies on the do now "when i said something else i would like to do .

I garden, raise and breed birds , collect what ever old stuff you could think of ( mostly ephemera ) , restoring our home . Run internet business and work with wife in her business and are now looking at starting another business .

I also like reading and cooking . Also thinking of going back to school to study counseling at some stage.

If there is one thing i hate its being board . I think this is one thing that really feeds my anxiety at times . I find that because i don't feel well at times and it is so taxing not only mentally but physically that i get fustraighted when i cant do what i want . I have always been the sort of person that never stopped .

I will say one thing Tails, that it is only the last few months that i have gotten back into much of this and it was a effort i tell you at times. Even today i have to push but i feel better after wards .

I like Jess's idea of low dopamine, i think this was also my problem at times more so than serotonin. Do you find that you like to see change ? Maybe it is this that you need . I am sure i said to you once that i was depressed i think because all i saw was the same thing day in day out . Now that i am pushing into things i find that i can look back and see the change i feel so much better. I feel more in control .

If there is one thing i would point out after working online for 10 years is that you have to limit the internet as it is such a life drawer at times .

Thanks so much, Kev!! It's wonderful that you are now back on track doing so many things! I think it's so important for those of us with a tendency towards depression and anxiety to stay busy (preferably doing things we enjoy). I hate being bored too, but it's quite a frequent problem for me these days. The problem for me right now is not being able to get motivated. Once I've started doing something, I'm usually ok. It's the getting started that's the trick. I need to push myself more.

Yes, I definitely need to see some positive change. I feel very much that my life is a case of SSDD (Same Shit Different Day) and that's because I tend to do the exact same things each day. And after a while the lack of variety drags me down. But also, I know I can't just expect change to happen magically. I need to make it happen. And that's where I'm stuck.

I just wrote to my psychiatrist about the dopamine question. I'm sure I have low levels, and I'm sure that's why the SSRI's are not helpful enough.

Thanks so much again everyone!!! I love this forum!!!!! :)

[jessed03]

Depressions almost like an auto-immune disorder isn't it. An autoimmune disorder of the mind. It's an illness, that seems to take away what you need to get better. It takes away your energy, when you are depressed about your situation, and need enthusiasm to change it. It takes away your confidence, when what you really need is to put yourself out there. And, in the case of dopamine depression, takes away your motivation, when what you desperately need is the drive to go out and experience fun things, to give you back those dopamine hits that have become sparse.

It always makes it so tricky to navigate!!

As I'm sure you've read, the not being able to get motivated is a big part of low dopamine-esque depression.

Some people seem to be able to rectify the problem on their own, by cutting out exhausting activities, but somehow I doubt you do stuff like watch tonnes of pornography, gamble your money, or junk eat :p ... I could be wrong, I just get the impression you don't -- lol

Internet is actually really bad for dopamine problems. Internet use almost always accompanies low dopamine in people these days. After all, you can get everything you need from it. If dopamine is simply the reward chemical, rewarding you for success and novelty, well, the internet has that in abundance. You can socialise, learn things, read things, discover things, meet people, find answers to problems... You can receive validation, attention, express yourself... All online. And with the billions of pages online, the novelties obviously there.

The bad side, is we just go back to where our dopamine comes from, and that means we often just keep going online, often for longer periods of time. Our bodies get lazy, and think, why go out into the night, spend 50bucks in a bar, get all dressed up, and have to wait for taxis and tables... When... I have dopamine right here on my screen, and all I have to do is sit on my butt, under this blanket, and open up Internet Explorer!!

And so the low motivation starts to creep in. And suddenly the novelty in your life is reducing, and the reward centre in your brain is under used. It was designed to encourage us to mate and reproduce, and to hunt a buffalo for food... Or, at least to reward us for hunting down a tasty, wild, smoked tofu! :p

And it's all soooooooo easy to get into that trap!!!... Especially when you have anxiety and depression. The reward chemicals don't come as naturally, as you're filled with apprehension or dread about things that you should enjoy! You have to add confusion on to low motivation. What a minefield!!! And it usually happens so innocently.

So, it's worth seeing where it leads, as I do think if the serotonin isn't working, looking at dopamine issues can't be bad. You may be able to get on top of the issue like Kev... Sort of by ploughing through, and getting stuff happening. I got on top of it by reducing the dumb stuff I was doing. The casinos, the late nights, the large amounts of coffee, the fast paced London nightlife etc... My dopamine was frazzled by that, and when reducing the things that were exhausting it, my motivation improved rapidly. Within a month actually, I was incredibly driven, and life was just happening again. Eventually I went back to my exhausting lifestyle, and the same problems arose, and once again after becoming frustratingly unfulfilled and lethargic, I went about correcting dopamine, and the same great things happened. In my case, it almost was a case of split personality. Low motivation, cheap thrill Jesse, and the other Jesse getting involved in everything so naturally again. When that happens, it kinda becomes obvious what your problem was, lol... It was hard giving up the fun stuff, but luckily there was a nice motivated me, keeping busy with other projects, that I didn't feel too bad during the transition.

I mean, it's worth thinking about whether or not you believe your possible low dopamine could be from lack of valid stimulation, or from exhaustion. I'm guessing from your posts the first one?

I think it's easier in regards to low dopamine due to lack of relevant stimulation, as, unlike with exhaustion, you're going up, rather than down.

I do think it's something worth trying to address naturally, as we still aren't massively sure about most stuff when it comes to neuro transmitters. It (a little worryingly) still is hit and hope. In a lot if cases.

I'm sure your psych will be able to help way more, and see if it is an issue for you. Being able to know someone in person is far more valuable than reading a few posts :)

If you wanted to see how things go naturally, then just kinda getting back out there slowly, should help. After all, dopamine is just low motivation, and poor organization. It's an inconvenience but not something that can't be overcome.

Taking B6 with phenalanyline is meant to be beneficial.

See how it goes :)

[Olive Yew]

Depressions almost like an auto-immune disorder isn't it. An autoimmune disorder of the mind. It's an illness, that seems to take away what you need to get better. It takes away your energy, when you are depressed about your situation, and need enthusiasm to change it. It takes away your confidence, when what you really need is to put yourself out there. And, in the case of dopamine depression, takes away your motivation, when what you desperately need is the drive to go out and experience fun things, to give you back those dopamine hits that have become sparse. It always makes it so tricky to navigate!! As I'm sure you've read, the not being able to get motivated is a big part of low dopamine-esque depression. Some people seem to be able to rectify the problem on their own, by cutting out exhausting activities, but somehow I doubt you do stuff like watch tonnes of pornography, gamble your money, or junk eat :p ... I could be wrong, I just get the impression you don't -- lol Internet is actually really bad for dopamine problems. Internet use almost always accompanies low dopamine in people these days. After all, you can get everything you need from it. If dopamine is simply the reward chemical, rewarding you for success and novelty, well, the internet has that in abundance. You can socialise, learn things, read things, discover things, meet people, find answers to problems... You can receive validation, attention, express yourself... All online. And with the billions of pages online, the novelties obviously there. The bad side, is we just go back to where our dopamine comes from, and that means we often just keep going online, often for longer periods of time. Our bodies get lazy, and think, why go out into the night, spend 50bucks in a bar, get all dressed up, and have to wait for taxis and tables... When... I have dopamine right here on my screen, and all I have to do is sit on my butt, under this blanket, and open up Internet Explorer!! And so the low motivation starts to creep in. And suddenly the novelty in your life is reducing, and the reward centre in your brain is under used. It was designed to encourage us to mate and reproduce, and to hunt a buffalo for food... Or, at least to reward us for hunting down a tasty, wild, smoked tofu! :p And it's all soooooooo easy to get into that trap!!!... Especially when you have anxiety and depression. The reward chemicals don't come as naturally, as you're filled with apprehension or dread about things that you should enjoy! You have to add confusion on to low motivation. What a minefield!!! And it usually happens so innocently. So, it's worth seeing where it leads, as I do think if the serotonin isn't working, looking at dopamine issues can't be bad. You may be able to get on top of the issue like Kev... Sort of by ploughing through, and getting stuff happening. I got on top of it by reducing the dumb stuff I was doing. The casinos, the late nights, the large amounts of coffee, the fast paced London nightlife etc... My dopamine was frazzled by that, and when reducing the things that were exhausting it, my motivation improved rapidly. Within a month actually, I was incredibly driven, and life was just happening again. Eventually I went back to my exhausting lifestyle, and the same problems arose, and once again after becoming frustratingly unfulfilled and lethargic, I went about correcting dopamine, and the same great things happened. In my case, it almost was a case of split personality. Low motivation, cheap thrill Jesse, and the other Jesse getting involved in everything so naturally again. When that happens, it kinda becomes obvious what your problem was, lol... It was hard giving up the fun stuff, but luckily there was a nice motivated me, keeping busy with other projects, that I didn't feel too bad during the transition. I mean, it's worth thinking about whether or not you believe your possible low dopamine could be from lack of valid stimulation, or from exhaustion. I'm guessing from your posts the first one? I think it's easier in regards to low dopamine due to lack of relevant stimulation, as, unlike with exhaustion, you're going up, rather than down. I do think it's something worth trying to address naturally, as we still aren't massively sure about most stuff when it comes to neuro transmitters. It (a little worryingly) still is hit and hope. In a lot if cases. I'm sure your psych will be able to help way more, and see if it is an issue for you. Being able to know someone in person is far more valuable than reading a few posts :) If you wanted to see how things go naturally, then just kinda getting back out there slowly, should help. After all, dopamine is just low motivation, and poor organization. It's an inconvenience but not something that can't be overcome. Taking B6 with phenalanyline is meant to be beneficial. See how it goes :)

So you're saying that If I get off my butt and shut off the computer and go do fun and random stuff... I'll start getting better? Cuz my dopamine is too high and it leaves me not motivated?

[jessed03]

So you're saying that If I get off my butt and shut off the computer and go do fun and random stuff... I'll start getting better? Cuz my dopamine is too high and it leaves me not motivated?

Nooo! You both can't get off your butts and leave.... I need you both here for the Word Game... Muahaha :) pity there's no little devil smiley on here!

For you Miss Olive, I think it's a different problem. I think your Central Nervous System and your amygdala still aren't settled yet. That's why you still get symptoms of anxiety at times you shouldn't, like in your giggling fit thread. Anything that 'over stresses' your body for a second, can set your nervous system off. Does exercise bother you? Usually exercise bothers people too in this stage.

This is normal, it happened to me a lot. Not nice to feel weird after laughing though! Laughings meant to be fun! I would just say that's the focus; giving it all time to settle. You seem to be doing well though. How do you feel about things??

In the earlyish stages of anxiety e.g. < 1 year, dopamine is rarely the problem.

Still do fun things though!! It's really important, as it's also really good for serotonin regulation, which is crucial for overcoming anxiety :)

[acetone]

Can you recommend one you like? I find neuroscience really interesting too.

1. "Hardwired Behavior What Neuroscience Reveals about Morality" by Laurence R. Tancredi
2. "Neuroscience of psychoactive substance use and dependence" by W.H.O.
3. Drugs the straight facts series

[mistiblue]

I spend most of my time homeschooling my children and running an Ebay business. When I have free time, I like sewing, taking walks, cooking, and playing with my kiddos. I dedicate my life to Christ and wouldn't change it for the world. One day I would like to sell everything we have and travel the world. Maybe when the kids are grown :)

[PanicPhobia]

I don't do the things I would like to do. I would like to travel (as I used to without problem) but don't feel well enough right now. I like reading, but my anxiety is so bad right now that I cannot concentrate on anything. The best I ever felt was when I got a gym membership and forced myself to go. After the first couple of weeks I enjoyed it and became obsessive about my routines and about the weight I had lost and the muscle I had gained (I am a guy). I would eat really healthy meals, sleep regular hours and I felt the best I had felt in years (I was still on an SSRI though). So I would put "exercise" on my list of things I like to do.

I also like computer video games (MMO's and MOBA's) and have met some nice friends playing. One day they were calling me asking me where I had been (I had been having terrible anxiety attacks and wasn't playing much). So I just broke down and told them. One of the guys said "Don't worry I have them too, I sometimes feel like I am dying." It made me feel good that I am not alone in this.

So, yeah, I like reading, movies (I like off the wall B-titles), exercise, writing, traveling, computers, and popular science.

[tailspin]

I don't do the things I would like to do. I would like to travel (as I used to without problem) but don't feel well enough right now. I like reading, but my anxiety is so bad right now that I cannot concentrate on anything. The best I ever felt was when I got a gym membership and forced myself to go. After the first couple of weeks I enjoyed it and became obsessive about my routines and about the weight I had lost and the muscle I had gained (I am a guy). I would eat really healthy meals, sleep regular hours and I felt the best I had felt in years (I was still on an SSRI though). So I would put "exercise" on my list of things I like to do.

I also like computer video games (MMO's and MOBA's) and have met some nice friends playing. One day they were calling me asking me where I had been (I had been having terrible anxiety attacks and wasn't playing much). So I just broke down and told them. One of the guys said "Don't worry I have them too, I sometimes feel like I am dying." It made me feel good that I am not alone in this.

So, yeah, I like reading, movies (I like off the wall B-titles), exercise, writing, traveling, computers, and popular science.

That's great you were able to open up to your video game buddies, PanicPhobia. I'm really glad they understood.

I agree that exercise is very helpful. One time I did have a really bad panic attack after I came back from a run. That upset me because exercise has always been my "Go To" when all else fails. Luckily it only happened the one time though. Are you still going to the gym now?

[tailspin]

Thanks for all the great replies everyone!

Regarding dopamine levels, I wrote to my psychiatrist about the possibility of Ritalin, since Ritalin is known to increase Dopamine levels. He told me that it is contra-indicated in people with an Anxiety Disorder so he doesn't want me to go that route. Instead he is happy for me to try either Remeron or one of the older tricyclics next (even though that is what I suggested to him! Sometimes I wonder who is doing the work here! :-) )

So I'm going to try and work on the low dopamine levels myself. Here's an interesting fact I read: sleep deprivation increases dopamine and can even bring on euphoria! Next time I have a sleepless night I'll remind myself of that! :-)

[tailspin]

Hi Kev, From what I've read, Wellbutrin doesn't really effect dopamine. Nobody quite understands how it works or why it helps some folks quit smoking (reassuring, isn't it?! Not!!!!)

[Dorriegirl25]

Hey there tailspin. I just wanted to say a quick hello. You, too were one of the first to welcome me, and much appreciation to you girl. I usually have some down time, but Geese, there are several schools that shut down for a bit around here, due to the flu's going around. My poor little skinny guy had one for two weeks. I'm trying my hardest to figure out how to use the board. I mean, I don't have my Masters Degree, but it cant be as hard as it has been for me. I think part of it may be the trauma and stress I'm dealing with. Or my severe ADHD. lol. Now, I didn't mean to offend anyone by the lol. It's not funny, and I'm very serious. I do have a pretty bad case of it. Always have. Sometimes I try to make a light bit of humor about MYSELF. It just seems to help when I try to talk about the hard things. You take care now. Dorrie