Gemmy
11-05-2013, 11:26 AM
Ok guys, I'm back and not feeling too good. I've been doing my best trying to control my anxiety. Some days, I feel great and others I don't. Today is one of those days. I have an extreme fear of dying. Everytime I feel myself getting anxious, my heart beats faster and I get really tense and everything doesn't feel real. My anxiety came from me having a dream that my heart had bust in 2006. I've many check ups and doctor's appointments and they've all concluded there is absolutely nothing wrong with my heart and I'm as healthy as an Ox. I keep having really disturbing thoughts of me in a casket, funerals, or the process of me dying and then I start feeling trapped and doomed like something is about to happen to me. I do know my fear is irrelevant because there is no such thing as the human heart busting and if it was, it is extremely rare and unheard of. I've told myself this numerous times and I know it's all in my head but why do I still panic and worry about it if it's not true. I can't convince myself it's not true and that these evil thoughts are just my mind playing tricks on me. If I could just really do that, I firmly believe I would no longer suffer from anxiety. On a good note, I haven't had any panic attacks. My mind has just been in the gutter and I don't know how to stop it.