I feel myself slipping

[AnxiousPsychGrad]

I had a severe attack of anxiety about three weeks ago. I've had extreme health anxiety for years, but never considered myself to be depressed. I feel like I'm slipping into a depression and there's nothing I can do about it. I want to stay in bed. I don't want to see people that I would usually be excited to spend time with. The constant depersonalization from anxiety is SO frustrating. I don't feel like myself. Ugh.... I just want to be better....

[Ponder]

That really Sux, sorry to hear that.

I'm like that with some of the meds I take. Try forcing yourself to get up and drag yourself out of the house or whatever shelter your in, and expose your4self to the sun and if any fresh air available to breathing that. Sounds arduous, but you'd be surprise how much that clears the sole. Best of luck with it.

[Ponder]

Honestly, I used to have to visit my friends all the time and got excited about seeing them ... how old are you? It gets better with age ... once you've seen a few people die and had some failings out, you begin to appreciate ones own company and take things in ones stride a little more when it comes to others. As for the depression ... losing purpose and motivation is how I try to see what's missing other than putting it down to just feeling sad. Feeling sad and even being anxious is a fact of life. Dealing with the negative emotions inside myself and my inability to with the rage that builds tend to me being caught in a rut.

Got any hobbies you can turn too ... I find disconnecting from the main stream very helpful! This is not to be seen as suicidal depression, but more choosing to or "self impose" on yourself ... your own values that give you worth. As for depersonalization ... for whatever that context ... just be yourself as disconnecting from main stream for me, means not playing into social stereo types and all that BS ,,, say what's really on your mind and forget about alienating or don't be fearful of what others may think.

I really don't know your situation and nor do I profess to know or even claim to of cured myself with any type of philosophy ... just try and think for yourself as best you can, and don't play into the hype and or feed off others, who are unable to control their own minds.

LET GO and try not to worry to much about what's getting you down. You can think about it if you must, but do your best to do so, from a new perspective ... and give yourself a break. Each of us are much more than the projections we have to constantly live with. Embrace whatever it is that pains you so much and accept it however you feel best. ...

whatever works to get your grip ... In my case ... I'm thinking it's time to just let the others slip and let them be, whilst I'll go my own ways and live with what I know.

You say you, don't feel like yourself ............. maybe you need to find yourself, maybe you don't know who you are anymore??? ...

[AnxiousPsychGrad]

I am 25. Death is what has put me in this spiral downward. I watched someone die at a very young age and since have seen 3 others die and numerous animals. My family jokes that I'm the grim reaper. I'm aware that it's purely coincidence, but it has taken a toll on me mentally. I amTERRIFIED that I'm dying of some terminal illness. I'm scared to do anything that might result in a horrific death (flying, driving on the interstate). Scared to be alone just in case I have something happen and no one is around to see. I've been this way for a while, but the last 3 weeks have been the worst. Depersonalization is a side effect of extreme anxiety. I feel detached from myself. Can't focus, always dizzy, just don't seem like myself. This is causing me to isolate myself from the outside world.
Tonight I've decided to plan vacations to my favorite places and places I've never been. Create some kind of excitement, even if only temporary.

[Ponder]

I'm hearing ya. There are many ways that death can viewed viewed as tragic. I'm sorry your feeling this way. It can take many years to overcome such events. I wanted to know more about your situation and thank your for being so open with me. Family members tend to take the relationship of their loved ones for granted, however I get what your saying about the grim reaper syndrome. I've only heard of health anxiety a few times since finding this forum, I know the term more as "hypochondria" and unfortunately it's been very much stigmatized in the time I was your age, and I guess it still is.

I can see how it would make anxiety extreme. I'm medicated for my extreme anxiety and finding it to be helping me a great deal. On that note though, my anxiety is triggered differently to that of health anxiety. None the less, I feel for others such as yourself that suffer like so.

Are you an medication, or have tired or would consider it?

efdit ... just reading up on Depersonalization Disorder ... I find it interesting, because I could play into that one myself and wonder why the need for so many different disorders are up for grabs these days at any rate. I mean no disrespect to any of your symptoms and or compulsions. I am sure all are very real. It just saddens me how anxiety can pull us in so many different ways at the same time leaving us feeling so disconnected in many ways. I try to see all these would be conditions as the way the learned study us and that they are the ones that create the unnecessary symptomatic realities, that never really existed before they came up with such terms. They themselves are the ones clutching at straws. Hell ... according to my thinking, I am sure they could come up with several disorders. No doubt some would be real and others not ... what's important for me, is how I see myself.

Are you getting help by means of psycho therapy or anything like that? I find following the advice I am given helps me quite a bit. I don't have to take it all on, but I guess I am lucky to have someone that understand me.

[AnxiousPsychGrad]

I'm currently taking 100mg Zoloft and 1mg Klonopin a day.
I meant depersonalization as more of a side effect of my health anxiety rather than a disorder in itself. It's the side effect I struggle most with. I find it so hard to believe my mind could be playing tricks on me like this without me being able to stop it. Scary, really.
I graduated recently with a Bachelors of Science in Psychology. Unfortunately, I'm all too familiar with the need to label everything as a disorder. (I've had to learn far too many of them. ;) )
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is my next step after I see my GP once more to make sure this Zoloft is working its magic.
I've seen counselors before and also taken medication. I was too young to understand the severity of anxiety when left untreated and stopped all medication and treatment. I'd like to think I'm mature enough now to realize I can't control this on my own. Hopefully this regression is only temporary, and I can get back on track soon.

[Ponder]

I do beg your pardon AnxiousPsychGrad, I tend to get stuck with the various details in most things. Its good you can laugh it it like that, you made me laugh too. :) I hear Zoloft seems to working for a few people in here, which is good to know. I'm not familiar with the Klonopin but it sounds like its for the extreme part of your condition? One thing is for sure, you sound pretty grounded about how its unfolding and how you'd like to go about it. You must be stoked about having a degree like that. I think the world could do with more doctors and or professionals that have had a personal experience with suffering an illness to go with their degrees. I know there are some great examples and they end up writing books and become well know in their own field.

I don't mean to suggest that's your goal, I just find it encouraging to come across learned people such as yourself in these forums. Sometimes I wonder about education and how it's implemented, but I am genuinely happy to hear you talk of such achievements. That's awesome! I hope this finds you feeling a little better. Wishing you well. :)