advice?

[cpGHOST]

Hi
I'm fairly new here but i have an issue thats been bugging me for about a month now and i just wondered if anyone else had the same problem or could give me advice. I'm not very good with explaining things, i ramble a lot so please just bare with me.

I'm currently taking 40mg Propranolol 3 times a day and 50mg Sertraline. I think they're both working well for me. I'm not getting the chest pains or heart palpitations(as often) that i was getting. Nor am i getting any other pains or feelings that i was having a really bad time with. The problem i'm really struggling with is the side effect of 'loss of libido' with them (im a girl by the way). I've been with my partner nearly 4 years and we've been living together for just over a year.

At the minute i just dont even want to think about doing anything intimate with him and i dont have any urges or thoughts about it all. I guess i just dont even like the thought of it at the minute and its only been since i've started taking Sertraline. I've explained this to him more times than I can remember and i've assured him that its nothing to do with him but its my issues but he just pushes it and makes me feel so guilty about it which makes me feel worse and not want it even more. I try and make sure he's 'satisfied' but i just dont even like being touched recently and i wont let him, unless its just an innocent cuddle. He brings it up every day and says things like he's never going to get it again which i know isnt true, i love him but its just im only feeling this way because of the tablets. I dont think it helps that we argue at least once a day over money or the fact he doesnt help me at all round the house which stresses me out and i find overwhelming when i'm trying to do a several things at once and he wont even wash his plate up and when he does he wont finish the job because he knows that if he leaves it i'll have to do it. I feel like he blames me for everything and expects me to be his mum and clean up after him while he just plays him playstation. He means a lot to me but the relationship just seems to be going really badly and i think its because of my anxiety and I just blame myself. He doesnt understand how i feel at all and i dont think hes even bothered in finding out. I was going through a phase where i was having a panic attack every night and he'd just ignore me through it and say things like 'oh you'll be fine dont worry about it!' and just play his computer with his headphones on and ignore me. I cant talk to him about anything or how im feeling cause he just gets mad. I dont really have any friends to talk to either which i guess makes it harder and the doctors just keep giving me the tablets and sending me away.

Does anyone have any idea how i can make this situation better?
Either with my partner or the loss of libido side of it? anything? at all?
i'm miserable!

[petrified]

Hi cpGHOST, welcome to the forum I've never had any experience with sertraline but I do take propananol 3 times daily. My husband also takes propanalol for another problem (not anxiety). Well anyway the last time my husband went to see his consultant he asked about his propanalol as sometimes it affects people's libidos. So it may be possible it's your propanalol causing the problem. If you feel like it is affecting you, it might be worth visiting your gp and to see if there is an alternative med to help you.
I would just keep reminding your partner that he needs to be patient with you. When I first suffered from anxiety I lost my sex drive for a few months and its really difficult especially as I have always had a fairly high sex drive.

[cpGHOST]

Thank you for replying! I've been taking propranolol since May and haven't really had any trouble with it but it seems to be since I started the sertraline, or possibly it could be a combination of both? I work 70 miles away from where I live and commute everyday so it's hard to see my GP as I have to take a whole day off but hopefully I can soon so I can ask.

I try and tell him but he just thinks I'm being the horrible one because I won't even try to do anything. I just know if I do I won't enjoy it and I don't think that's fair on either of us. I just hope the docs can maybe help and then we can both be happy.

Thank you :)

[petrified]

Hi to be honest you need to work on your happiness first, the longer he pressures you, the longer it's going to take you. Yeah I would definitely try and see your gp and it is most likely the combination of both meds.

[vic]

Thank you for replying! I've been taking propranolol since May and haven't really had any trouble with it but it seems to be since I started the sertraline, or possibly it could be a combination of both? I work 70 miles away from where I live and commute everyday so it's hard to see my GP as I have to take a whole day off but hopefully I can soon so I can ask. I try and tell him but he just thinks I'm being the horrible one because I won't even try to do anything. I just know if I do I won't enjoy it and I don't think that's fair on either of us. I just hope the docs can maybe help and then we can both be happy. Thank you :) one of tube side effects to nearly all anti- depressants are a low sex drive I've never tried anti-depressants my self but have been prescribed them a few times and I just get scared to take them. I'm currantly starting cbt I've manage for. 18 yrs wiv my own self help but recently I've started wiv depression due to stressful situations happening. I really feel for u as wen u have a panic attack sum times u just need to talk to sumone to take ur mind off it. Some people are scared to here fears my hubby can be the same at times but he will help me wen I'm having one as I like to talk and be distracted. With the sex drive decrease the less u have it the less u want it so may be just try sumut dif one nyte get ur fella to make u a meal run u a bath nd go from ther or dress sexy to boost ur confidence ect

[cpGHOST]

Thanks Vic! That's so lovely that you have someone who'll be there for you and support you and you've managed so long with self help! Getting my partner to cook or run me a bath or do anything like that is near impossible! I mean earlier he told me he was pissed off at me because I won't cut his hair (I've never cut anyone's hair in my life) and he hates the fact I won't try cause it's so easy! It might be easy but the pressure of it incase I mess it up is too much and I just know I couldn't handle it! He just doest seem to think of how I'm feeling at all. I'd probably go as far as saying he's quite ignorant to the whole thing and he doesn't realise that he contributes to it. Due to him being this way makes me not wanna do anything intimate with him anyway and I can't talk about it cause I just get made to feel like it's all my fault and I'm the bad one! Just feel hopeless with him!

I've only been posting for a day and it already makes such a difference knowing there's people out there who actually do support each other!

[vic]

Thanks Vic! That's so lovely that you have someone who'll be there for you and support you and you've managed so long with self help! Getting my partner to cook or run me a bath or do anything like that is near impossible! I mean earlier he told me he was pissed off at me because I won't cut his hair (I've never cut anyone's hair in my life) and he hates the fact I won't try cause it's so easy! It might be easy but the pressure of it incase I mess it up is too much and I just know I couldn't handle it! He just doest seem to think of how I'm feeling at all. I'd probably go as far as saying he's quite ignorant to the whole thing and he doesn't realise that he contributes to it. Due to him being this way makes me not wanna do anything intimate with him anyway and I can't talk about it cause I just get made to feel like it's all my fault and I'm the bad one! Just feel hopeless with him! I've only been posting for a day and it already makes such a difference knowing there's people out there who actually do support each other! May be moving in with him changed things between u and complicated things!! My hubby has always been good supporting me but he has u. The past done things that have triggered it all off again so I think some of it could be abit if guilt cuz I can some times blame the stuff he's done that has caused me stress and has caused my anxiety to be heightened again. Maybe you shld look at ur relationship cuz some can do more harm than good gl huni

[cpGHOST]

Yeh it was all a rush moving in as I had no where to live and money problems have made things worse. He doesn't open up about his feelings either and just let's it all out as anger which gets to me the most. It's all just so confusing and complicated! The meds I'm on have helped a bit but he just makes things worse :( I feel really lonely most of the time cause were just not on the same page at all.

[alankay]

At 50 mg zoloft your sex drive may return(best scenario).
You could also try skipping just a day or 2(drug holiday) to see if that helps just on occasion. Might be enough every so often to keep him from getting....... too randy.
I feel for both of you.
Some try and dose or two of wellbutrin for loss of sex drive. Some try another ssri like prozac which I take and have no loss of sex drive. Alankay

[cpGHOST]

Thanks Alankay. I think I'm going to go bak to my GP and see what he says. Hopefully there might be something else he can give me that works as well but with out this horrible side effect! It's just causing such tension and I feel so bad about it!