Please read - needing advice

[robyn89]

Hey... This is a strange thing to post on here as it is quite unrelated to what this site is for, but it's something that is making me nervous, worried and anxious and I'm needing some outside support.

Basically, my boyfriend of 6 years randomly messaged my friend, a good friend of mine, but someone he has only met a handful of times, he messaged her saying that he can't stop thinking about her, saying he has never felt this way about anyone before.. & now my friend being the girl she is told me straight away, I confront my boyfriend and he then tells me he has no clue why he said it, is devastated, ashamed, lost, confused, and then tells me he has been taking speed everyday for the last 4 months and it's totally fucked with his head, now that he has told me a lot of his behaviours and recent health issues and money troubles have made so much sense.. He has flooded my inbox with apologies and doesn't know why he done it, and I genuinely believe he doesn't know why he done it as he doesn't even know this girl to message her like this... He has agreed to come to the doctors with me this week to get some help for his apparent addiction, I don't know anyone who has had an addiction like this so I have no one to turn to for advice, my friends say get rid of him etc, but I can't just leave him and possibly let him spiral even more out of control, he grew up in Northern Ireland, then joined the army and served time in Iraq, when I first met him he had alcohol issues which I pulled him out of, it seems he has replaced one addiction with another, I want to help him but I just can't get out of my head what he said to my friend, it's deeply hurt me and I'm so confused :( I believe he is genuinely sorry but there is no real reason or explanation as to why he would message her this.......

[NeverToo...Fear]

I have no familiarity with speed addiction, but like with any addiction really, it can really mess with the person's head and make them do things they wouldn't normally do..I'm not excusing his behavior for he is solely responsible for his actions but if he truly feels sorry about this, hopefully it hurts a little less.

Six years is a long time, so I can see why it's not so easy to simply get rid of him...too much history and time together..But I can also see why your friends would say to get rid of him; once an addict always one and history tends to repeat itself....but I think no one can better make the decision than yourself. Your the one who knows him much more than your friends..

But for now I think the first step is getting him help which he fortunately has agreed to. And when he is better, maybe then you can reevaluate the situation..best of luck to you, Robyn.. :)

[alankay]

Going to see a doc about all this is the best step. Getting off the speed must be done and done under supervision for safety and the best chance for long term success.
I admire your loyalty. :) Alankay

[robyn89]

Thankyou, I said I will take him to the GP this week, but they will more than likely just offer a quick fix antidepressant tablets and arrange counselling, neither of which he will want to do, yet he wants help, all I can really do is make sure he eats properly, sleeps well, stays away from the drugs and talks to me about his issues rather than bury his head in the sand. I hope he admires my loyalty and sorts himself out.