When will it stop?

[Kellie]

So I haven't been on here for a while because I thought that it was all okay, but lately I have been feeling a bit off..
My dad is a huge reason why I have anxiety but its hard not having him sometimes. My anxiety gets worse when I see my friends dad play fighting and joking and hugging because I never had that.
I finished telling people how i feel because It seems so much easier to keep it in because nobody else really gets it..
I had to let it out here cause everyone on here must get it..
My mind won't shut the fuck up and I can't get rid of these headaches -.-
Poo, needed to rant..

[mikecole114]

So I haven't been on here for a while because I thought that it was all okay, but lately I have been feeling a bit off.. My dad is a huge reason why I have anxiety but its hard not having him sometimes. My anxiety gets worse when I see my friends dad play fighting and joking and hugging because I never had that. I finished telling people how i feel because It seems so much easier to keep it in because nobody else really gets it.. I had to let it out here cause everyone on here must get it.. My mind won't shut the fuck up and I can't get rid of these headaches -.- Poo, needed to rant..

Hi I'm new to this so haven't seen you before. Exuse me if I sound rude just so I have more of a picture. Did you lose your dad or is he just not around?
Stay strong

[Cuchculan]

We all have setbacks from time to time. That is what you are having. You were doing so good. Then you fall backwards again. Case of what you do next. If you let it fall back in on top of you things will only get worse. If you see it as just a setback, you can carry on forward and push through it. I know at times I have looked around and seen people do things and wished that was me. I am sure many others have too. I think I accepted that the life I had was the one I will always have and I would do the best with what I had. Not the perfect life. Far from it. But a life still. Hope things pick up for you. This is the perfect place to rant.

[Kellie]

Hi I'm new to this so haven't seen you before. Exuse me if I sound rude just so I have more of a picture. Did you lose your dad or is he just not around?
Stay strong

Oh no, that's okay (: My father is an alcoholic and he used to treat me like trash so yeah.. Thankyou!

[Kellie]

We all have setbacks from time to time. That is what you are having. You were doing so good. Then you fall backwards again. Case of what you do next. If you let it fall back in on top of you things will only get worse. If you see it as just a setback, you can carry on forward and push through it. I know at times I have looked around and seen people do things and wished that was me. I am sure many others have too. I think I accepted that the life I had was the one I will always have and I would do the best with what I had. Not the perfect life. Far from it. But a life still. Hope things pick up for you. This is the perfect place to rant.

Yeah, that is true. Truth be told I don't try to get better sometimes because my anxiety has become my comfort zone but then again I hate that. So I am torn on what to do. I look at people alot not in a creepy way but I wonder if their life is better or worse than mine. I want to be me but had a better life.

[DarkSoul]

Yeah, that is true. Truth be told I don't try to get better sometimes because my anxiety has become my comfort zone but then again I hate that. So I am torn on what to do. I look at people alot not in a creepy way but I wonder if their life is better or worse than mine. I want to be me but had a better life.

Let me reply to you as you kindly replied to me. I so totally understand you. I have been in depression for so long that it has become normal for me. As you say, a comfort zone. And yes, I look and wonder about other people too, and wonder about the grass on the other side. All I can say is hang in there, to be best of your abilities, enjoy life, socialize, have friends and be a friend, have hobbies and interests, try to enjoy your job. And be the best you can be. I know that is what you and I both need to do, but I don't pretend I am there yet.

Hope that helps.

[mikecole114]

Oh no, that's okay (: My father is an alcoholic and he used to treat me like trash so yeah.. Thankyou!

Oh okay. My childhood and my realationship was one where I felt Astranged and because f the anxiety I always considered myself to be less fortunate then my friends and there parents so in that sense I get where your coming from. My mums is a great woman but is not one to be compassionate and she often forgot about things that I considered important. My anxiety led me to believe for years that she hated me which led me to not talk to her (despite living with her) my sister came back from uni and realised how messed up I was about it and sat me and her down and talked us through and ever since that day I just haven't been worried about it anymore. My mum hasn't become any more loving towards me but just talking through my issue got me over it. I went to uni in September and my mum hasn't talked to me like at all and I haven't once been bothered by it despite all my friends who's parents tell them how much they are missed. This gives me enormous confidence that my old main worry could jus disappear and not effect me like it use to. I guess I could call it closure. Even tho she treats me like she doesn't want anything to do with me that's how she is and not my issue.

So basically the moral of the story is that maybe you can figure out in the long term that it's not your issue that make your dad treat you badly it's his issue and then begin to get closure too.

Kellie I don't for a second know what your going through and my story is a lot less then yours but I just hope you can see parallels and hopefully that can be some sort of help

Stay strong
The universe loves u

[Kellie]

Thank you! That made me see it from a different perspective.. Thank you!

[solta]

My background is basically the exact opposite of yours. My folks have been too close. I have gotten everything I've ever wanted and got to do what I've wanted to do. That has lead to a lot of problems like with alcohol and unsocial behavior. Basically I've just been able to drink without them saying anything because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. The changes I've made have been just mine and I did them because I had to. I don't feel like I blame my parents, though but sometimes I wish they had done things differently. That's just how they are and will always be.

I would say the changes I've made have been for the better. My anxiety is nothing like it used to be. I know you will find a way to get better and enjoy life :)