One step forward, two steps back

[dr_bogenbroom]

Hey guys,

Well after trying for the first two days this week I've had to call in sick from work - I just couldn't do it. I have OCD and currently suffering from sleep anxiety and I'm two weeks in taking Fluoxetine. I was originally on Mirtazapine which did help me sleep but made the depression worse. I think my mind just needs time to heal - I've been so anxious about sleeping at night before work the last two days I just knew I wasn't ready, but I'm so desperate to get better I'd been kidding myself.

I'm seeing a CBT therapist tomorrow and although the fluoxetine doesn't seem to be working on my anxiety yet the depression isn't as bad. It's so annoying because my mind is constantly analysing how I feel. Do minds/mental health heal in the same way as our physical bodies? Not sure what peoples thoughts are on this!

Dr B.

[trinidiva]

I think they do. I think with CBT contributes greatly.....I think we can kind of "re train" our brains....it takes time....just like physical therapy.

[sweetypie]

The ironic thing about anxiety is that you know it's getting better the less you think about anxiety. I always get mad at myself when I'm getting better and I think,"Oh! I haven't thought about my anxiety for like an hour!" Because then I am remembering it and thinking about it again and therefore having problems again.

[HealthAnxNut]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time! :( It's so hard when we have to pull ourselves together for work. I know how that feels. Also, sitting at your desk trying not to freak out... that used to be every day for me. I've been on a med for a month now, I don't feel like the anxiety REALLY improved until the past 2 weeks. The first 2 were VERY difficult for me. My anxiety was worse, but I had moments where I felt like the depression part was lifting. It's gradually gotten better. Maybe if you can hang in there a few more weeks, you'll see some improvement?

[dr_bogenbroom]

Well what I keep telling myself is that I have no other option to make the best of a bad situation - it's just I'm so obsessed about my sleeping having to commit to work in the mornings is making it so much harder I feel I need a bit more time off to bring my stress and anxiety levels down a few notches.

I have definately noticed a change in the depression part - my mood is better so I know the meds are having an effect, and I'm guessing the anxiety will gradually improve with the meds and CBT - have my first CBT session tomorrow (I'm having to go private due to huge NHS waiting lists) which I'm looking forward to.

I'm trying to stay away from sleeping pills and benzos because they won't solve the issue. What meds are you taking?

[HealthAnxNut]

I know something that helps me is just "going with" not being able to sleep. I had insomnia for years, and until I stopped fighting it, I didn't really ever get a hold on it. Basically, if I was awake, I would just lay on the couch and watch tv or read or whatever I did. If I was exhausted in the morning, so be it. But I wasn't going to lay there an obsess about not being able to sleep, because it was really awful. Every other night, I got "ok" sleep. I started sleeping with a white noise machine, and that was the end of that!! (if you haven't tried it, it was a godsend for me)

I noticed the mood thing too, but my anxiety and sleep issues were almost unbearable. But I got through it, and I do feel like it was worth it, at least so far. I'm on Wellbutrin. I was nervous, because everything I read said it was not good for anxiety, and I can see why. But I also feel like it is getting better for me, so maybe some of those people didn't give it a long enough trial. (which I understand - it's hard to do that if it makes your anxiety WORSE)

My doctor also gave me some Valium to help me get through, because my sister recently passed away, and I had a whole week of her funeral and dealing with family coming up. I noticed the day after taking Valium, I felt like my memory (short-term) wasn't that great, and I felt a little MORE anxious. I am going to leave it on the shelf as a "break in case of emergency" med.

[dr_bogenbroom]

I know something that helps me is just "going with" not being able to sleep. I had insomnia for years, and until I stopped fighting it, I didn't really ever get a hold on it. Basically, if I was awake, I would just lay on the couch and watch tv or read or whatever I did. If I was exhausted in the morning, so be it. But I wasn't going to lay there an obsess about not being able to sleep, because it was really awful. Every other night, I got "ok" sleep. I started sleeping with a white noise machine, and that was the end of that!! (if you haven't tried it, it was a godsend for me)

I noticed the mood thing too, but my anxiety and sleep issues were almost unbearable. But I got through it, and I do feel like it was worth it, at least so far. I'm on Wellbutrin. I was nervous, because everything I read said it was not good for anxiety, and I can see why. But I also feel like it is getting better for me, so maybe some of those people didn't give it a long enough trial. (which I understand - it's hard to do that if it makes your anxiety WORSE)

My doctor also gave me some Valium to help me get through, because my sister recently passed away, and I had a whole week of her funeral and dealing with family coming up. I noticed the day after taking Valium, I felt like my memory (short-term) wasn't that great, and I felt a little MORE anxious. I am going to leave it on the shelf as a "break in case of emergency" med.

See the funny thing is I've always been a pretty good sleeper - even in my bad times before I was even over-sleeping. It was just one or two nights in the summer when my relationship OCD was at its peak and I was really losing it that I suddenly had this fear of not sleeping and I eneded up on a few occassions being awake the whole night - this terrified me. But yes I need to stop obsessing which is of course easier said that done, but I am seeing a CBT therapist who has confirmed he can help with my sleep issues.

For me my anxiety is easier to deal with when the depression isn't there - the mirtazapine helped my depression and anxiety at first, but then a few weeks ago I began to feel really bad, the depression was horrible.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister - certainly wouldn't have made your anxiety any better. I was offered valium but declined.

[HealthAnxNut]

Yes, I've heard anti-depressants can go the other way, and make people really depressed. Just one of a whole slew of reasons I was scared to take one. But I do feel it's helping now. I really hope the new med will help you. Keep posting on it - lemme know about side effects or if it's getting better.

Thank you about my sister. It was tough, because I finally decided to take a med on a Tuesday, and she died that very night. So I was in the midst of adjusting to a med, with my anxiety as high as ever, while dealing with that. I feel like I'm coming out of a tunnel right now!

[dr_bogenbroom]

Well I'm not new to AD's - I took Fluoxetine back in 2003 and 2006 and it seemed to work for me then. It's weird but I can't remember much about the initial stages at all even when I try really hard; it's like my mind has blocked them out.

I was calmer last night and slept better, but even though I'm still off work I still got up at the usual time - I need to keep my sleep patterns in sync as much as possible even when my anxiety is high. I'll go out for a walk as it's a nice day today, might even try a run later on.

I think I was on Mirtazapine withdrawal as well as experiencing Fluoxetine side effects so it's really hard to tell which was what, and Fluoxetine is meant to disrupt sleep which may seem a bit mad when thats one of my issues - but I knew it worked before and my GP agreed for me to try it. The depression I was experiencing before was horrible - I never want to feel like that again.

Well you must be incredibly strong to deal with all what went on and I'm glad that the medication seems to be working for you.