Drowning in thoughts

[crazy88]

Am I alive because Í live in wealthy country? I don't really have to worry about food and shelter. I can do anything what I want but I still can't be happy at all. It just seems that I don't want to change. I'm waiting for the death. There's really nothing that I can think of that can change the way I think or feel.

I can't enjoy myself in a social setting. I don't really care about people. Am I crazy or mentally ill?
I feel really spoiled saying these kind of stuff, knowing that there are poeple who have much worse than I do.

It just seems I can't change at all. It is like my mind is set in stone and it can't be altered in any way. I'm just different than the average joe. Should I just stop trying to fit in the society. Should I be content as an outcast? Happy to be who I am? It that it? I just can't accept myself?

[Cuchculan]

May sound like a stupid question. But would you ever consider doing some charity work? Maybe helping out at a homeless shelter. Something along those lines. See people who are less well off. But who still continue on with their lives. Who still want to live. No matter how low down on the money scale they might be. Just to even speak to such people may give you an understanding of life you have never seen before. It may be just what you need. To see how the other half live. The people who have nothing and live with only the clothes on their backs and can't be even sure of a roof over their heads for the night. They are always looking for people to help out. Maybe you need to see it first hand. Then you will see there is a purpose to life. Might interest you and you might find yourself doing a few other things.

[sweetypie]

What are the thoughts you are having that are bothering you? Do you have social anxiety? (It kind of sounded like that because you mentioned fitting in.) It's like you're trying to force yourself to not be anxious because you know there are people who are "worse" off then you.

I've mentioned this briefly before, but my house burned down and someone close to me died a few years ago. I've literally been homeless before with nothing but the clothes on my back, so I know how it feels to actually have nothing. To need a bath and a clothing change and how gross it makes you feel. To not know where you are going to sleep and to wind up sleeping on the hard ground where it smells like animal pee and you're crying because you are thinking about that person close to you that died. To be freezing because you have no blanket. But I still don't think you are selfish for having anxiety right now.

There are many problems in life and I've had a lot of them, including serious illness and anxiety. I don't think they are problems you should compare with each other. All of them suck, but in different ways. I don't look back on any of these problems I've had and feel like some of them were better than other ones. I just want to be happy and not have any of these problems again if that makes sense. Whatever problem I am facing right now always feels like the hardest one.

[ldts3012]

Perhaps if you try to find something meaningful to do in life would help you - like the volunteering mentioned earlier, or going back to school to train for a career you may have always wanted, or try to find a job that you would enjoy and help you feel fulfilled. Don't feel guilty that your basic needs like food and shelter are met - feel grateful and maybe try to do something to give back or that makes you feel like you are doing something constructive.

[crazy88]

Thanks for the many replies in this thread.

To be honest in the past 3 months nothing has changed. I still feel terribly every day I wake up. I know I should be grateful for what I have but that doesn't solve my problem.
My goals in this life would be being healthy physically and mentally. I've been running lately and it feels good when I run I can finally stop over thinking about stuff.
Other then that life is still the same. I just feel down all the time. I don't have a goal and to me life is meaningless. Whatever you do in life it does't matter in the end. We will all die and that is the end of it.