How to Break the Cycle

[sweetypie]

Of being scared of being scared.

Just curious if anyone has any tips because this is one of my biggest problems.

[Dweeb]

This is 1 of my biggest problems aswel :(

[Perses]

scared of being scared -- that's a tough one to parse. I guess for me that would mean that since I know I can get anxious, my body/mind doesn't bother waiting for the actual situation to arrive. No! It worries about what I will worry about. I get afraid that I will be afraid. Anxiety is like a Boy Scout, always prepared. This really manifests itself for me in a lack of self-confidence or, even, self-trust. I don't know if I'm making a decision because it's the right, reasonable one, or because my anxiety is telling me: Don't do it! It will only make you feel worse! You think you'll be able to handle it, but what if you are wrong."

How do I deal with this? Ha! Not well. I will say that one thing that keeps the cycle going (perversely, I might add) is that when things work out I feel soooo great. The pleasure is magnified because the stress to accomplish the task was so great. If I just nonchalantly treated everything with indifference, then positive achievements would be less thrilling. Does anyone else experience that? I think it's akin to the adage that if you expect the worst, then you will not be surprised if things go horribly wrong, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when things go swimmingly. I'm really just thinking of why anxiety might be addictive -- there is a weird upside to it.

I guess in part life experiences are supposed to help us overcome our fears. I remember as a teenager, being really nervous to use the copier machine in my Dad's office. Now, of course, I have no trouble using a copier, and if it is a fancy new machine, I will go ask someone to help me. This is a silly example, of course. But, I think it's important to keep in mind all of the things we are not afraid of doing. So, what I mean to say is that you aren't scared all the time of doing everything. Think of the things you've overcome as a way to help you.

[newzie]

This is the dilemma for us all. We know the cycle feeds our anxiety but the hardest part is figuring out how to stop the cycle of negative and fearful thinking/rumination. We know the less we 'think' about it all the less it will affect us. But that takes us to your question, how do we break it?

There's a few different ways to break the cycle.

One is with medication. Anxiety lowers mood and brings on depression. I think we all would be in better moods if we didn't have anxiety; a more positive outlook. I also think a more positive outlook and better mood would lead to less anxiety. With medication that can lower symptoms and help with your mood, they can help break the cycle of negative thinking. The more positive your mood is, the less negative thoughts you are bound to have.

The second way could be with some deep introspection. Acceptance. If you run from the fear it becomes your bully, if you give into the fear it becomes your master; if you accept it and allow it into you life it becomes your friend. And with that the fear could lose it's 'sting.' This all sounds like hippie stuff but I have heard it to be helpful for MANY people. They learn to take their anxiety on head first and they become de sensitized to it.

Other ways could be CBT, Hypnotherapy and other sorts of therapies that help you deal with it all. I am a big fan of hypno myself and have high hopes for it. Essentially we all have phobias, phobias of fear and anxiety. If we can break that phobia, we could be in a better place.