Terrified

[temperancebrennan]

I'm scared. I'm 25 years old and I feel like anxiety had l wasted what are meant to be the best years of my life. I wish so badly that I could press reset, go back to being a child & live my life all over again, but go against every decision I've ever made.

I run through this in my head so often. I've never learned to drive, never went to university, never take chances with relationships, never felt like I was good enough to go for promotions at work. The list goes on. I am regretting everything that I've ever done & it terrifies me that I can't ever live this life again. This is my one chance & I feel like I've messed it all up.

I don't know what to do. My life is being ruined by fear & I've lost the past 25 years from being too scared to take risks & now the anxiety ruins every day also.

[rainbow1]

I feel like this... I'm 27. The thing is we can't go back. I try to look at it as though people work til they die so if I want to go to Uni or have a career it's not too late..... For you either...... Right?

Don't make a list it swallows you up getting annoyed you haven't done it all already and makes you scared you will never do any if it. Choose one thing.... Tell yourself it doesn't matter if you don't complete it in whatever time frame society dictates... For example I get v bad anxiety with maths and have tried erm well this will b my fifth time.... That includes my first gcse where if I had not had anxiety and had sat the higher paper I would have got the C. I haven't sat the exam the other 3 times only once I quit twice I got a D again on the other time.... I am now trying again after deferring last year.... I know it's only my anxiety holding me back.... So I have accepted it and it takes of the pressure, I just know I am not going to quit.... I will get that C one day..... I am currently falling behind with studies....

I could go on forever but you get my point, it's the taking part in life that counts, praise yourself for what you do and work slowly on what you want. I'm here if you need me, I'm completely alone with my illness and I've had enough of it, I'm going to use this site and accept my fiancé doesn't get it and so what if I have no one else... I still have to keep going..,,

[solta]

So start fighting back ..

This all started for me when i turned 21 . I am now 41 .

I have a choice i can sit here and look at what i lost or i can look at what i want and go and get it .

Your young , write and bucket list and start crossing them off .

Life is all about living and only you can do that .

Small steps to a big road . Small things feed hope , not doing them feed loss .

This exactly!

[tailspin]

Hi temperancebrennan. I really feel for you! I know how soul-destroying it is to be paralyzed by anxiety and to feel as if you're wasting your life and as if things will never get better. I'm sorry you are hurting!

The other posters make great suggestions and they are absolutely right that we have to find a way to reclaim some of the power anxiety has taken from us. This means pushing ourselves to do things, even though that feels difficult and scary. We can start with small steps and work up. I am saying this as much to myself as to you as I also really need to take this advice!

Can you think of some small goals you could set yourself? Accomplishing tasks gives our confidence a real boost, and then we can build on that. We all have to start somewhere and it's never too late! There is plenty of support to be found here, and I hope you have some support in your real life too. Wishing you the very best!

[blondieqtpie]

My advice is to not dwell on the past but look forward to the future. Have you done any kind of therapy of even just self insight to why you have this anxiety? Mines stems from PTSD- a traumatic experience when I was 19-20 years old mainly. Can I ask if you have OCD too? I find the two often go hand and hand-- especially of its been present since childhood. I've always had OCDs .. And anxiety follows if I don't do them.
If you can find the source of your anxiety that is a good step to finding ways to cope or beat it. Anxiety is such a tough battle, and I can see how you feel it has taken over your life. Try meditation, self hypnosis, I have relax apps on my phone that are games or music. Find what works for you. For me, medication ( in the smallest dosages-- for me. I keep that low), therapy, having a crisis like on hand and my relax apps help me. Oh and ok I love my wine at night. Don't get drunk- just a couple to wind down. Keeping a strong spiritual sense is good too--- whatever that may be. Mine is Wiccan, but also grew up Christian, and hold both ( oddly). But with Wicca I have learned how to use herbs, rocks and runes to channel positive energy and to help myself cope as to lead as much of a normal life as I can. But PLEASE trust me--- dwelling on your stress/ anxiety does not help. Do not let it consume you.

[NeverToo...Fear]

There's so many things I haven't done in my life that should've been done, but I love to keep telling myself one thing, "It's never too late" Words like that give me hope and promise that tomorrow will be better and I will get to do the things I haven't done. It may be 1 year or 5 or 10 years from now, but you will get to do the things you want to do. It all starts in little steps. Taking small chances, working towards little goals. Challenging little by little..I try to live with no regrets because looking back at the past and thinking of what you haven't done yet doesn't help. Instead, use that negativity as fuel for your fire to jump start the future. Easier said than done, but don't give up! :)

[jess_95]

You're still so young! You're 25! You have your whole life ahead of you, anyone who tells you highschool or university is the best time of your life is lying, so you aren't missing out on that part.... You should go talk to someone though it could probably do wonders to get some help. Don't focus on what you haven't done so far think about what you want to do and WILL do in the future.... Good luck :)

[alankay]

Ah I've been through it too. You're beating yourself up, reading your own bad press and assuming everyone else has the world my the ass. Not true.
I have been shocked by other peoples non anxiety struggles when I had the chance to learn of them. Many just off my radar and I now know we all do this. We all have a period where we realize life is not gonna quite be all we hoped for/dream't for and we somehow blame ourselves by decisions we've made, etc.
The truth is you can turn it all around and make the best of it as you learn who your are and what you can do, at the same time accepting your imperfections and limitations(we all have them).
There are people in this World who are so screwed just because they were born in some third world crap hole and would love the chance to be free and pursue the best life they could. You are in that spot(for the most part I bet), free so you can, with time and effort(and a little faith) turn it all around. That's the great part of living where you do(in civilization, yes, even with it's downsides) so you can make a happier(maybe not perfect) life for yourself and those you love.
25 is younger than you know. I'm 50 now and see you're beating yourself up. I did it. I wish I had someone to help me have the epiphany I did and start seeing the glass half full instead of half empty. That's when it turned around for me. Alankay

[lee2]

I definitely understand...it had caused me to barely ve able to function...I have 2 young boys just started school and I have been so taken by this anxiety,panic,depression....God help us all who suffer

[ceecee27]

Me too :( the important thing is to not let it beat us down. Stay positive and seek help if needed

[Perses]

This thread resonates deeply with me. I started to feel my life was a waste when I was still in high school. I am highly driven and have a type A personality yet experience the kind of crippling anxiety that can set me back. I have lots of stories of abject panic when faced with a new situation. I arrived at my college and within a week was utterly convinced I needed another 5th year of high school. I stayed in and graduated. Loved my college experience. However, my first job after college, working in a law firm on Wall Street as a paralegal, I quit after a week. I quit ONLY because of unchecked anxiety. I was convinced I was going to fail, lose an important document, miss some sort of deadline. I didn't sleep that whole week. Looking back at it now, I think of how silly I was. I should have stuck it out for 6 months. Really, I should have said to myself, Ok, let them fire you then!! But I was so convinced I was going to fail, that I deliberately shortchanged myself. And that was the end of law as a career. It was that experience, however, that made me appreciate the need for therapy and medicine. It was so clearly an example of self-sabotage that I knew I needed help.

There are plenty of great things that I have been able to do, despite my anxiety, and there are things that my anxiety has kept me from doing.

Temperance, I echo all the really wonderfully supportive comments already posted here. Supportive and eloquently spoken from people who are in complete empathy with what you are feeling. Indeed, everybody has regrets, even people who seemingly sail through life. I guess what I'd recommend is that you take some small steps. How about taking a night class or one class a week at a university? As for promotions, people would not promote you, if they didn't feel that you could handle the work. This sounds strange, even to me, but let them fire you. Or, let the teacher give you a failing grade. You just keep working as best you can and not worry about the what ifs. [Ha! I totally find this advice impossible to follow]. Something else, if you are helping people, putting a smile on people's faces, solving a problem for others, then you are succeeding. Be generous of spirit to yourself and to others. There's always room to grow, and, while doubts will remain, life is a wondrous strange adventure.

Pick something to work on, and let us know how you are faring. Pick a small thing to change and we'll encourage you on.

Your post and the responses you've received have already helped me feel better, so even that small gesture of reaching out to share your pain has benefitted others who remain silently in anguish.

[lee2]

I have seeked help and I feel the anti depressant have work not all the way but a lil..I.also tried therapy but I feel like I not to sure I like her....I also seen a phycitrisit who said I not crazy and I have anxiety depression..but I still have q I want to ask for my self satisfaction